What's wrong with me and my girlfriend being aged 15 and wanted children?

Question

Im 15 and so is my girl friend and we have been in love for a couple of months and we want to have a baby, we have already had unprotected sex a few times to attemp it but some people in school are telling me i shouldn'd. We're both in year 10, so we have like a year of school and than college, her aunt said that she can look after her durign the day and than Jess can look after her 4 days a week and ill do 3 days, weekends will be different. I love her and she loves me so why can't we have a baby? We'll manage, my parents will pay for clothes and jess's will pay for other stuff.

Answer 1

Is it fair to ask your parents to pay?
I know where you are coming from, since I got with my partner at 14 I've wanted a baby, but you've got to recognise that it isn't the most stable enviroment to bring a baby in to.
There is nothing wrong with wanting children, but I do think there is something wrong with trying to have one.
Babies don't cost much, but children do. Will both of your parents still be willing to support you in 5 years? You are unlikely to be earning enough by then to be able to provide for Jess and a child.
I know its hard when you want something so much - it takes a very mature and sensible person to be ble to recognise that this isn't about them - its about the baby.
Do you think that a few months is long enough? Do you think your relationship is strong enough to raise a family together?
How will Jess continue school while she is pregnant? A lot of women, especially young women, are quite ill when they are pregnant - the morning sickness is just the start of it.
The best thing to do is to get down with your school work and build the sort of life that you want. Do you want to live in a 1 bedroom council flat? Is it fair to ask other people to pay your way? If you work hard and wait a few years, you will be able to enjoy being a parent so much more.
I know I've made the right desicison waiting to have a child - I'm 20 now and will hopefully be trying soon. I have my own house and can afford to be a full-time stay at home mum without relying on anyone. And after 6 years together, I know my partner well enough to know that we will make good parents.
Good luck, hope you come to the right descision. There is always more time, it won't hurt to wait a little while.

Answer 2

If you 2 love each other this much.. then you can wait til you both have at least graduated and have a place of your own and jobs where you can afford to pay for a child. They cost alot and you will need to be there for them everyday and night and not pawning them off on whoever can watch them. It will not be fair the child if you have them right now. Make sure you both do well in school so you can get some great jobs and live in a good neighbor and buy a car to get you around that is reliable. I think it is great that you 2 think you are soul mates this soon... stay together and love one another.. but protect yourselves while having sex. Don't stop your life right now.. you should be having all the fun you can.. cause when the real world hits.. it hits HARD. I did not have my 1st child til I was 28 and talk about a change. I am one who likes to up and go whenever I want.. and with a child it is just not that easy. And now I am 33 and have my 2nd child on the way and I know for sure it will slow me down.. but I will except it with a smile and work with it. Live, live, live... and grow up some more and then live again.. then plan the family!!! I hope you think hard about your decisions and make the best of it. Good luck.

Answer 3

Oh my gosh--I don't even know where to start! Having a baby sounds fun and romantic but it can truly be the biggest strain ever on a relationship and even more so when you are young and do not have the resources to properly care for a child. It may seem like you have all the details worked out but you are only scratching the surface. I have three children and am 39 and sometimes there are days that I think I am even too young to handle all the responsibilities :-) What would you do if the baby was born with a serious medical problem--you are looking at a huge time and financial investment that you just aren't able to commit to right now. I recommend you find someone you can babysit several days in a row to see how hard it truly is. My oldest daughter is 14 and my younger ones are 2 and 4 and they are the best form of birth control for my oldest daughter--she sees the work involved and knows that she doesn't want to be tied down like that for many years. Good luck in making your choice but please do not chose to bring an innocent child into the world until you really understand what it takes to be a parent. You sound like very caring people and one day you will make great parents but for now, focus on being a kid and having fun!

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with you actually wanting a baby or for loving each other the way you do but the whole point of having a baby is to buy all the things for it yourself. As a parent, the baby will be yours and your girfriends responsibility therefore you should be in a decent enough financial state to feed and clothe it out of your own pocket. Why don't you save up for a while and finish school and college so you have more than enough money for your 1st baby. The feeling of being independant is great and knowing you've paid for all the things your baby needs yourself is even better. But good luck in whatever you decide.

Answer 5

ok slow down! Bringing a child into the world is not a decision that should be takin lightly! Although its an amazing thing having and holding your child for the first time its also the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Your both still very young and if you really love eachother as much as you say you do then I really think you should wait. Also, if you really are going to do this then you should think long and hard about who is going to provide all the love and care as well as all the clothes, nappies, lotions, baby bath etc that a baby needs as it is very expensive. If your responsible enough to have a child you should also be responsible enough to pay for it. You can't just rely on whoever is there. Taking shifts with a child's care may seem easy but babies need routine and stability and if he/she is being passed around you may be causing unnecessary upset to them. I really hope you wait and live a little together before you do this, but if you decide to go ahead, I wish you both good look x x x

Answer 6

There is nothing wrong with WANTING a child at your age, as a matter of fact, most normal people have this want and feeling, what IS wrong is that you are acting on it. Most people, although they have the desire at this age, have enough knowledge to understand that they are too young and that they would be doing their own life and the life of the child and injustice by having it so early. The fact you are activly trying to have a child shows how childish and immature you still are and is further proof you are not ready to be parents. I'm not trying to put you down, I just think you somehow missed out on a proper raising that would have given you the knowledge to know that you need to wait. I'd say talk to your parents, but I think if you parents were raising you like you should, you wouldn't be asking Yahoo, as a matter of fact you wouldn't be asking at all because you'd already know the answer. You need to stop having sex, you are too young, sex is a lot bigger thing then what you think. Love is a lot larger commitment then a few months. I know it seems like forever now, that is only because you are so young, wait a few years and you will see how short of a time a few months really is and how quickly things, and people, change. People stay together for years and end up realizing they aren't meant for one another, you don't want to bring in a child into a loveless relationship, and we don't need anymore single parents either. Since obviosly your parents are either dead or just not good at parenting, you should try to go to a local church and find someone to give you some good advice and guidence, you are young, there is still hope.

Goodluck.

Answer 7

Its really not fair on the child as neither of you have had proper life experience seeing that you are still at school. The responsible thing to do would be to get a decent education and decent jobs and then think about having a kid when you have some security and not just relying on other people to pay for stuff and all that. There is so much more to life and to have kids is a wonderful thing but you will miss out on so much, stuff you can't even forsee at the moment probably. Look after other peoples kids if you want to, do some babysitting - eveyone needs babysitters - and enjoy yourselves while you can and wait until you are adults to take on that kind of responsibility.

Answer 8

There is nothing wrong with you wanting a baby but believe me it is VERY HARD WORK. I am 31 with a 17 month old baby and I am lucky if I get 1 full nights sleep in a week. You can say goodbye to going out.
You cant expect your parents or aunts to do all the washing and tidying and nappy changing and weaning and feeding as the baby will need to bond with you two and not your parents.
You will also miss out on your childhood. Do you want to socialise, go to college get a good job, travel the world?
These things are very hard to do with a baby.

I would think long and hard about this, the best years of my life were from 17 to 25, where I was free to do what I wanted, got a flat, job, drinks with friends, travelled, learnt alot more about life and then I was ready to settle down and teach a child what life is all about.

good luck in whatever you decide to do but remember that it is not only you you have to think of you have to think of the child that you will be bringing in to the world who will rely totally on you for the next 18 years or more. Its a huge responsability.

Answer 9

My knee jerk reaction to this was - they're mad.

But in reading your question properly you seem, at least, to have give some thought to the practicalities involved, well done. It sounds like you have supportive families as well which is desirable when having babies at any age.
But!
Do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with Jess?
Do you realise that your teens and 20's are going to be spent baby minding rather than partying?
Have you guys considered marriage (at the very least to prove how serious you are)?
Do you realise that managing on a low budget whilst studying is hard anyway without adding this factor?
Do your realise that a new baby will have you up in the night and will cry until you're at the point of distraction?
Do you think a 2 month old relationship is ready for these trials?

Just a few things for you to think about.

Good luck and God bless. Ann is a pretty name for a girl, don't you think...............?! LOL.

Answer 10

My name is as it is for a reason... I dont bullshit, lie or speak the kind of crap parents may say so comming at your real kid... Dont be a fking donut head and get your girlfriend pregnant deliberately.


this aint on PC game, no extra lives, no switching it off, bno taking it back to the shop...

And Im the one saying tell you lot everything about sex and thats its normal for people your age doing it getting in fights with paretns here so not fing you around





Does not work that way mate... If you have been around longer and seen what happens when people like you do that you will see you are deluding yourself...


You may have good intentions but you have no idea how the worls works outside your school and home culture.


Its a lot ahrder then you think to get work... Qualifications alone wont get you anywhere... its all expericnesd and you will have none.


Your girlfiends will end up looking aftet the kid and neither of you will have the life you have now.


You are not used to having to pay bills, rent, water electric etc ontop of the costs of a baby.


Estates are full on those who have had kids, the kids end up very messed up and in gangs and now teenagers are killing each other.


There is so much for you to learn from simply living and seeing what goes on around you and how things work over the next 13 or so years when you will be ready for kids.


Hell you aint even legal to enter a nightclub, have a kid you will never have time or money to get in one let alone travel or anything.

What you have in your heads is hormones designed to get you in love and making babies.

However to be good parents you need a few years together as a couple without babies...

You tink you will be able to study with a baby... they need constant attnetion day and night...

No parties, no going out, no mates etc.


your aunt is very irresponsible... she should run up how much it costs to live as a young family and get a mortage .


You seen house prices lately? £350,000 plus interest is double that... How much you earning from your paper round or whatever... burger king job?

That would be at least £14,000 a year

Thats £269 a week !!!!!!!!

How much is your pocket money?

And thats just the house not the gas, electric, water, phonebill, food, clothes toys (ie Playstation and nice nike trainers for the kid not you.

You think you will be able to stay in love when all you have is stress and no make out time?

And some fun... All you can do is kiddie safe rides and stuff... Your mates in Ibiza partying it up... you on a teddy bears picnic

Love each other yes.

have sex yes.... but with depro injects and condoms... live a life before it ends with parenthood...

That way you get to do both...


And what the hell can you teach the kid about growing to be a man or woman when you aint one.


Get real kid