Why is it that when I ask people how to restore my relationship...?

Question

... with my ex, that they give me stupid answers. They answer things like...
Let go. Move on. Forget about it. There are other women in the sea. These are not the answer to my question you idiots. You rebuff my question much like politicians do.
A beautiful vase has been broken, and I want to repair it. I did not ask you where I can get a new vase (other women out there), I did not ask you if I should just ignore the broken vase and walk around it, pretending it isn't there (forgetting about it), I didn't ask you if I should just sweep up the pieces and throw them away (letting go.) Throw it up to experience? What the heck is that, does that repair the damage? I don't think so. The original broken vase still remains broken, with all of these "techniques" that you suggest. These are not the answer to my question. In fact they are not answers at all but telling me to do exactly the opposite of what I am asking you to tell me how to do.

Negativity in the first response? Am I not surprised. Scars can be beautiful things they remind us of the time we fell, and are great warnings as what not to do in the future. You say that the vase will not be beautiful as before. I say, how do you know that it won't be more beautiful once repaired. You obviously are not suggesting the proper "adhesive" and the proper workings to make it just as beautiful, if not more beautiful than it was. Once again the answer has been rebuffed.

Negative answer in third response. People restore relationships that seem impossible to repair all the time. I know I don't live in a fairy tale. I'm not asking for a magic formula. I'm asking for a way to repair a relationship, with work and time. I'm asking for the adhesive that will make reconciliation possible. Again you fall into the not an answer to my question category. Second response is better, but not entirely accurate, because those are superficial techniques. I know, because I've already tried them. But at least you understand that it takes work.

I see now why people continue live without repairing relationships. People tell them to give up, to quit trying, that it can't be done, that it is not worth the time, to chuck it up to experience, that it won't be as beautiful as before, THESE ARE ALL NEGATIVE--- **** no wonder why people don't have healthy relationships, they believe these lies! The relationship could be MORE beautiful than before. I've repaired a friendship with an old friend and we are closer now than we were before, so I know its possible. I just don't know how to do this with my ex!

Liking the fourth response... still no strategies, though...

Answer 1

I don't know how long you all have been apart from each other and I don't know what sort of speaking terms you all are currently on. If there is no speaking terms, take the initiative to talk to her. If the break up was caused by a mistake she made, hopefully you can find it in your heart to forgive her, and if so tell her. If the break up was caused by a mistake you happened to make, apologize to her. Tell her that you want to give the relationship another shot, but take things slow with her. Once she sees this, she may find it in her heart to giev the relationship another go. In reference to your vase analogy, the vase isn't going to be back to the perfect state it was originally in. There will still be parts that are fragile and are testy. And you'll still be able to see some of the chipped pieces and cracks, but once you help to glue the pieces back together you just may treasure that vase even more now than when it was intact.

A way you could help restore the relationship is to take a trip with just you and her. I don't know what state you live in, but if the weather is becoming nice, you may want to ask her to accompany you to a trip to the mountains. You can either make this a day trip or spend a weekend at a hotel or cabin. Also while on this trip, no phone calls are allowed (unless it's an emergency). This way you all can focus on the next steps in the relationship and you won't have any friends calling up putting their two cents in on your getaway. I hope this helps you out a little bit.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

so, are you saying that you want to repair that broken beautiful vase (win her back)? okay, you can do that, but as what a repaired broken vase looks like, it will not be as beautiful as it was anymore no matter how careful or how slowly you put it back together, there will always be the cracks that shows that it has been broken and was just fixed.. you know what i mean.. in a relationship that has been broken, you can't fix it alone, the other party should also be willing to work it out again.. so you have to make sure of that too... that she's willing to give the two of you another try.. it depends how well you loved each other and the mistakes made..

Answer 4

Because most are trying to give you a dose of real life your not in a fairytale and sometimes you can't fix something that is broken. Why did you break up? What ever broke you two up is it fixed or can it be fixed? You need to understand people who answer your question are not relationship doctors there regular people trying to give you advice from there experiences. You can't make someone come back to you no matter how hard you try sometimes that's part of life so learn it now and accept it. Learn what went wrong and change it so you won't make the same mistake twice.

Answer 5

ok to win a girl back first you have to show that you are sentimental, sweet, caring, kind, funny, and accepting. deliever a secret love note to her door with a single rose expressing your feelings about how you want her back but leave it anonymous. she will know who sent it but it will seem sort of mysterious to her which is a good thing. then do some more sweet things like that and eventually ask her out to a nice romantic picnic dinner or something along those lines. just be yourself and tell her how sorry you are for whatever made you two break up in the first place. well that's about all i have for now, good luck!