Fiance with depression?

Question

Been engaged about a year and were planning to go to pre-marital counseling before setting date (second marriage for both of us). Noticed something "missing". No affairs or anything related to that. There does seem to be criteria for depression. He admits that but does not seem motivated to do anything for it (Dr, meds, positive activiites) and instead watches TV every night and falls asleep on couch. We decided to call it splits (I am not going to wait on the sidelines-I have a lot o good qualities to share with another). It is hard not to take it personal but I know this is common with major depressive disorder and other types of depressive episodes. Why is it that some people are motivated to make a once healthy and productive relationship work and others are not. I guess it goes back to the depression, as well as the baggage from prior marriage (and his kids). Frustrating!

Answer 1

People who are clinically depressed often look at any road block as insurmountable. There have been some things in medical literature recently that are beginning to identify different symptoms that some men have who are depressed - compared with how women present. Additionally men are much less likely to seek help or even recognize depression (hence the reason men's symptoms have been so ignored in the past) Lack of motivation as you correctly mention is certainly a good indication.

I think it is awfully early in the game to give up on this guy if you love him and think there is something there. I mean dealing with him now is dealing with a man who is not thinking normally - he's depressed! There are lots of great medications that can dramatically change this man's mental state. (We would not expect a diabetic's blood sugars to be better controlled simply because we demanded it.)

Here's a screening quiz that you could have him take...with the understanding that if its positive, then he and the quiz are going to his primary doctor to start considering treatment.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 2

Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..

But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.

Helping you eliminate depression?

Answer 3

Think twice before going through with your plans

Answer 4

I don't think you should worry, and I believe everything happens for a reason. Your true love will come to you when you least expect it (but don't look for it). Have faith. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

if ur depressed with ur hubby then I dont know that you should be getting mariied.

Answer 6

Why doesn't he just go on medication?

Answer 7

give him some lovin'