We were going to get married after knowing each other for 4-5mths. b/c of the pregnancy. He really wanted to be a father more than anything b/c he is 32, never been married, and has no kids. I on the otherhand, do not believe in having children out of wedlock. Now that my bf found out I was not pregnant after all, (a relief to my ears) it was like a disappointment to him b/c he wanted to be a father. Now he is having doubts about the relationship. This is the same guy who I mention in previous questions before this one. He called me inconsiderate and showed me how inconsiderate he really was about me. When he thought I was pregnant he told me he loved me and how deeply sorry he was for saying that about me. Now that I am not pregnant, he is questioning everything. Saying, we should start as friends, when we did. He seems a little backwards.
2007-03-24 02:34:08 · 11 answers · asked by Amenity 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is not respecting you. It sounds to me from what you have described that he was only treating you well when he thought you were pregnant. Now that you found out that you are not he seems uninterested in the relationship. He is not ready to committ to you--why would he go from wanting a marriage to just being friends only because of the pregnancy issue?? He should want to be with you and only you regardless if you are pregnant or not. Good for you for not wanting to have children out of wedlock--you sound like the more mature one here. If he has even one doubt about this--he is NOT ready to get married and if you would get pregnant the baby would suffer the consequences of this if he should leave. Please re-consider. You deserve better. Good luck!!
2007-03-24 02:40:22 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Sodas♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should make the decision whether you are both going to be responsible and accountable for every child you may being into this world before allowing the possibility of pregnancy. Forget about tradition or religion etc, this is the responsibility of each one of us.
Not necessarily for any moral values but because someones entire life is at stake. An infant who will rely totally on your decisions, no matter the circumstances under which they are made. The right mate does not use sex to attack attention or cure loneliness or fit in with peers.
Being responsible must outweigh pleasure and I know how hard that is today when there are few rules but most marriages do not work and we all know this.
So the last thing you want to do is have sex with someone who does not first become your best friend, someone who you already know will provide for family, and, be accountable within the community at large, and, set a good example for all children and other families.
Pleasure can be a replacement for the need to be loved and if it is, it is merely a crutch and leads to abuse and waste of life.
Do you want a mate who flip flops when the chips are down?
I hope not, for your sake.
2007-03-24 09:50:01 · answer #2 · answered by rhn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You have to open yourself up to the possibility that you and he are not meant for each other.
2. You have to prepare yourself for a complete and total separation.
3. You need to develop more confidence in yourself and that self confidence should appear plain and obvious when you deal with him.
4. You should tell him that you don't want to have a relationship with someone who has doubts he wants a relationship with you.
5. If he takes that opportunity to say goodbye, then you say goodbye with the pride and self confidence that you would now possess.
6. If he comes back, start dealing with him on an equal basis.
7. If he doesn't come back, thank your lucky stars you didn't proceed with a relationship that would only bring you grief in the long term. Even if you have a hard time find a suitable replacement, you'd be better off.
8. If you enter new relationships, don't allow them to deteriorate to this dependent one-sidedness.
2007-03-24 09:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by jackbutler5555 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick him to the curb he wants a baby factory not a wife and just being pregnant is never a good reason to get married he would have probably left you anyway after the baby was born getting married after 4-5months is mad you don't know each other it sounds like you have had a lot of dramas in your relationship already too many for only being together such a short time its not going to be worth it do you really think you can spend the rest of your life with this man if you cant get on for few months.
2007-03-24 09:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by loopy loo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Red flags everywhere! He's a mind-f*cker and if you stick around he'll have you running in circles. Consider moving on.
2007-03-24 09:37:22 · answer #5 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MY HUSBAND AND I GOT MARRIED BECAUSE OF A PREGNANCY AND HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR 13 YEARS. MY FISRT PREGNANCY RESULTED IN A MISCARRIAGE AND HE STAYED AROUND. IF HE'S HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS BECAUSE YOU AREN'T PREGNANT THEN HE DOESN'T REALLY WANT THE RELATIONSHIP, HE JUST WANTS A KID.
2007-03-24 09:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by c n 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you ask me it seems like he didnt truly love you that all he wanted was a kid i mean it wasnt your fault that you werent pregnant. He needs to chill.
2007-03-24 09:39:59 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HI, I WOULD LET THIS ONE GO. HE REALLY DOSE NOT KNOW WHAT HE WANTS. THE MARRIAGE WOULD HAVE NEVER WORK OUT.
2007-03-24 09:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wht it was him all the time? what about you? what do you want?
2007-03-24 09:39:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt
2007-03-24 09:36:06 · answer #10 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋