My boyfriend of four years just broke up with me saying he's changed, grown out of me, feels like he needs to find something more and wants to take the time to find it...he even said he wished he could put me on pause...I even got that crap line that he wants to be friends....It's been about 2 weeks and I miss him like crazy and I'm still in love with him. He says there's nothing I can do to get him back and that I just have accept that...I'm trying to so badly but it's just so hard. I go to sleep and wake up still thinking he's beside me or at night I still think he will be coming through the door when he should be coming home from work....I feel so heart broken. I hate this crap that it's just going to take time!!!! I just don't know where to go from here..Help!
2007-03-24 02:06:31 · 10 answers · asked by wilsonfromthefrew 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Start going out and meeting people, start doing new activities, just something different....with time you'll get over it.
But, think about it, you're better off without him....what kind of person after 4 years decides to grow out of you???? He should have realized that before!! You don't need someone like that....it hurts now, but later you'll be glad he's out of your life!
2007-03-24 02:10:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you heard it right that theres nothing you can do to get him back.. well, dont fret over it. accept what he said & start pampering yourself such as keeping yourself busy,stay beautiful & fit , keep the positive thought that he may have left you but it doesnt mean you are any less a person now. work on becoming even better both physically & careerwise(if any). The last thing you do is sulk in self pity bcuz while he is enjoying his new life without you, you are wearing out yourself which will eventually justify his actions/ decision to have left you in the first place cuz its worth it. Never give him the chance to prove that he was right. Life is unfair sometimes but amidst these inevitabilities in life comes a new dawn which could bring you much happier & fulfillment in life. Remember that Gods plan is always better than your dreams..
2007-03-24 09:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by jables 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just know that you are special and it was the bes thing that he could do to be honest and leave if he was no longer happy.
You are heartbroken right now...Grab some chunky Monkey Ice cream, have some of your best girlfiends over, get into your flannel pajamas and pink fuzzy slippers and have a girls night. Girlfriends ALWAYS help....
You just need to realize how special you are... and although you still love him, he doesn't love you... you are better off alone than in a loveless relationship living a lie!!!
Have some faith, and make yourself open and available to new things... Have some fun, and before you know it... you will realize that this is the best thing for you!
2007-03-24 09:16:05 · answer #3 · answered by Scared 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation. I dated an ex-girlfriend for four years, and she dumped me. We had been going through a rough patch financially, and that caused an emotional drain, and we grew apart.
I'd recommend you focus on yourself first. You've identified yourself as part of a pair for the last four years. Now, you're just you again.
That's a very lonely, scary, and painful spot to be in.
By focusing on yourself, you'll get in touch with who you are again. Go out and do things that you thought would be fun that you and your ex didn't do.
Rediscover old hobbies that have gone to the wayside, or find new hobbies.
By focusing on yourself and your personal growth, you'll come to realize that maybe the relationship just wasn't going to work out.
Hopefully you'll learn something from it. (And not be cynical by thinking all guys are idiots. LOL.)
You deserve to find the best guy you can get. Be a little more selective in your next boyfriend, and be a little more reluctant to commit.
Play a little hard to get, but no so hard that nobody gets close to you.
Anyway, just reconnect with yourself. Get in touch with what it is you've missed out on, and then go out and look for fun again.
Don't worry about what others think or feel. It's your life. You're the main character in it. Enjoy it while it lasts.
In time, you will pick yourself up and move on.
Breaking up, sucks. But each relationship teaches us something about ourselves. Start by asking yourself what you learned, and when you've collected your thoughts, you'll start to get back in your groove.
Good luck.
2007-03-24 09:22:00 · answer #4 · answered by dgrhm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obviously going to be hard to accept the fact that he's left. However, you need to move on with your life. Go out, have fun, do the things you love. Exercise, shop, get to know yourself again. Four years is a long time to be with someone. Each day it should get a little better. Try to keep yourself occupied and eventually you will be okay. Don't stalk him, that will only make things worse when he tells you that it's over time and again.
2007-03-24 09:22:48 · answer #5 · answered by Annie Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, i'm really sorry for your loss. As in any loss, this one needs a grieving period too, it's natural after all that time to miss him and feel all you are feeling. They say time heals all wounds, but that's not entirely correct. It is what you do with that time that'll help you heal them wounds. Any blah-blah that me or anyone else will tell you (it'll be fine, he doesn't deserve you, you'll find someone else, it wasn't ment to be, and so on) can't really help you now. It has to come from inside, from you, you are your best friend now. What advice would you do to your best friend?
2007-03-24 09:15:28 · answer #6 · answered by dearestm64 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he slapped you in the face would you be that heartbroken?Because in a sense that is what he,s done.You obviously are holding alot more feelings than he is capable.Dont waste anymore time and effort over this one.They say women get addicted to the chemical we release during sex.So it should be better after 1 month.Just remember keep your chin up,do not contact him.And if he tries to comeback ,DONOT play the yo-yo game.That game is worse than death!!
2007-03-24 09:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by april showers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...don't cry over him or anything. Its not going to help things. Do something which u like, shop for new clothes, get a new image, pick up a new language, read more.
Just keep yourself busy and regain your self-confidence. Men will come flocking to you in no time and you won't find yourself missing your ex. He'll regret his decision to break up with u in no time and then its too bad for him!
2007-03-24 09:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by Grace 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this sounds very insensitive but
find a pet to replace him with. something cuddly
2007-03-24 09:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by got force? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find a new pecker
2007-03-24 09:10:56 · answer #10 · answered by diveqwest 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋