I have way too many guests for my reception?

Question

The guest list for my wedding keeps growing and growing, my fiance' and I are footing the bill. Everytime I turn around, 20 more people pop up who think they should be invited, because of one reason or other. I can pack them into the church, but we can't pay for everyone to come to the reception. How do I tell people this is an invitation only wedding and reception, not a word of mouth free for all?

Answer 1

Your wedding. Set limits! Don't let people dictate they are coming and make you feel like crap if they don't get invited. You are the one shelling out the funds, not them.

If needed have someone sit at the front door of your reception with a guest list. This way you can monitor the real guests and the freeloaders.

Answer 2

In your invitation,include an insert stating that the reception after the wedding is for extremely close family and by invitation only. Include another insert inviting all the others to another open party at a separate time, day and place...Include that this 2nd party will be a real blow out for all the rest of your fun friends..so big that it will be outside and a pot luck BYOB affair! Make no apologies or excuses, those who really care about you will understand and be at party#2 the ones just out for a free meal, etc, don't matter anyway..let them think what they will! It is YOUR day and it is okay to do it YOUR way. I wish you happiness ( my own marriage lasted 33 yrs. til death do you part. A hint for success....Always put the whole relationship first...it doesn't really matter who is right and who is wrong if the RELATIONSHIP itself has to end so one or the other of you can claim to be right. Keep formost in your mind and heart only what you love most about the other, then only the love will show. Choose to act in a loving way even when you get so angry you could scream!!!!

Answer 3

just send out invites to the people you actually want there. thats all you have to do. if they dont get an invite then they arent invited. if they ask you why then you can tell them why. just because people think they should be invited doesnt mean they are. you have to come right out and tell them they arent. you cant be all wishy washy around them. be firm and tell them they arent invited as you are keeping the guests limited to close family and friends or something like that. or tell them they are welcome to attend the ceremony at the church, but the reception is for family and friends that were invited.

Answer 4

Of course when we get married everyone thinks they should be at it all but like you said you are the one paying even though it will be hard you need to go through your list and decide there importance in your life put them in 2 catagories the ones who are meant most will be invited to it all and the others will just get the card that says reseption is at ---time if they bug you tell them why you did it stand up for it or you will find you will have more cost than what you are willing to spend tell your self how much you have to spend per person on the dinner and go to the list and take only that amount of people yea people will get annoid but its not like they arent invited to the reseption (dance)

Answer 5

Invite them to the evening function rather than the meal - works out alot cheaper. my fiance and I are paying for our wedding ourselves and we're only having 20 people to the ceremony and the meal (close family and good friends) and then a total of 150 to the evening.

Answer 6

You only invite those your can afford to attend. Begin with deciding on the number you can afford. Then start with your guest list. Immediate family comes first, then close friends and extended family next, then coworkers and other friends. You will have to prioritize who you can invite and when you reach your number, that's it-nobody below that line is invited.

I can't believe people are inviting themselves to your wedding! You can just say, you know, we'd love to have everyone there, but we just can't afford it! We're limiting it to our families.

Answer 7

As much as it stresses you out, you need to try to relax. Keep in mind that you do not owe any of these people an explanation...at all...ever! Don't explain yourself to anyone, it is none of their business.

The rule of thumb to weeding out excess guests on your lists is to ask yourself one very important question:

"Have I entertained this person in MY HOME or has this person entertained me in THEIR HOME within the last YEAR?"

Notice that I stress the words my home, their home & year. If you are not close enough to a person to have entertained them in your home (not a get together at a club or restaurant) or vice versa, then they should NOT be invited to your wedding. You can put them on the wedding announcement list instead. Also, it is very important to make the cutoff at ONE YEAR. You only keep in close contact with those who are very important to you, therefore if you haven't entertained them within that timeframe, put them on the announcement list.

Be sure to apply this rule indiscriminantly to all your guests, including extended family, so that you can bring your guest list to a more manageable size.

The only people who should be exempt from this rule is immediate family. (Parents, siblings & children of the bride and groom.) For everyone else use the rule of thumb and you should be able to feel less stressed.

Hope this helps. Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 8

the only ones invited to the reception should receive an insert in the wedding invitation RSVP

Answer 9

this is hard but it is your wedding and you have to put your foot down and say this is via invite only and we are having a small and initmate wedding with very close relatives and friends you are invited to the church but not the reception.....

alternativley you can ask for these people who wish to invite themselves that they have to pay upfront for the pleasure of joining you at the wedding...Rember this is you day and you should have what you want stand up to for yourself and SAY NO!!!!!!

Answer 10

Hmmm....
Thats a problem isnt it?
It s like that in some Asian places and I know what you mean...
Here they borrow money or sell properties and car to pay for a wedding. It s true...
Well, I would say, how about, you have quite a fan there and what you can do is maybe, maybe simple cards, well, might as well make about 100 ones or something, or you can print them yourself if you like, it can be a card of apology.
Not invitation but cards of apology and say that you can dine out with them and have a smaller but especially for them in future. Say that please do not rush and it will happen, and you two will be glad to meet them in future. invite them to your home for lunch etc...
I think perhaps with that people will understand.

Good luck!