How do I get my two year old to sleep, without him throwing a hysterical fit?

Question

Bedtime has become something I dread each night now as my two year old will not let me leave the room before he's asleep. He's excited to get ready for bed (brush teeth, PJ's, books, sing, etc.) But when it comes to getting into bed, he freaks out when I say "goodnight" and give him a kiss and he's already out of his bed clinging to my side before I even start for the door. I've tried to be stern, strong & even reason with him, but nothing works. We have a gate at his doorway and he will stand there and cry for Mommy & Daddy. We've let him go for a while, but eventually realize he's not going to stop until we sing him to sleep and then sneak out when we know he's asleep - which takes a while as he's wide-eyed for a .LONG TIME. Then he'll wake up in the middle of the night crying like he had a nightmare every night at the gate. (probably because he wakes up & we're not there to get him back to sleep) We have a 3 mo. old too and try not to wake him up during these events. Pls Help!

Answer 1

It's time to ask for some help from his pediatrician.

You need to break the cycle of this habit now, before it becomes totally ingrained. The pediatrician can supply you with some medication that will make him sleep. You may not need to use this for more than a couple of nights, before his body "resets" itself into it's proper sleep rhythms.

It sounds to me as if your son is jealous of the time you spend with his younger sibling, and is using this babyish behaviour to get HIS fair share of your time. The jealousy may not come out in any other way but this.

Answer 2

We tried a few different things to help our son (now 3 1/2) sleep. We tried the "cry it out" thing, but he could go on for hours if we let him and he resented it. We tried the "fading" method. Fading is when you progressively ween him from the normal routine. Sing him to sleep like usual. Then try rocking and soothing him for a few nights -- put him in bed slightly awake. Then sooth him w/o rocking for a few nights. Then put him to bed while holding his hand till he's asleep. eventually you'll go from standing at the door, to no special bed time routine.

What worked for us was kind of like the silet return to sleep method. On the 1st night we'd put on PJ's, read a story, etc then explain it bed time and walk out. We knew he'd cry, but we'd wait 5 minutes before returning (he was still in a crib at 2 years). After 5 minutes of cyring, we'd come into the room and say "It's still night time, mommy and daddy are right here. We love you, good night" We'd stay no more than 2 minutes (no picking him up allowed). Even if he was still crying after 2 minutes, it's time to walk away. We'd then wait 10 minutes and repeat. The 3rd time we'd wait 15 minutes before going into the room. Any subsequent trips would be every 15 minutes the 1st night. The second night we'd start at 10 minutes before the 1st visit. Then 15 minutes, then 20 minutes between returns. Starting the 3rd night wait 15, 20, & 25 minutes. using this method, the 1st night was very hard. By the second night he started to understand. The 3rd night we had to go in once. The fourth night was smooth sailing.

Since your son is not in a crib, you might have to take him back to bed each time...

Answer 3

It's time for a little tough love.
You know if your child is sick. He isn't. He needs you to stay with him until he falls asleep because that's what you've always done.
Figuring out the best way to change your 2 year olds behavior is best done by you.
How did you ween him from the breast, bottle?
How did you get him out of the crib?
What tactics do you employ when you want to leave him at daycare/grandmas house?
whatever logical way you enabled those things, that is what you should do now.
Every child is different, you are the best person to decide how to fix this situation.

Every time he cries for 10 mins and you go in you are just reiterating that mommy will come in and get you after 10 mins.

good luck, you are a great mom, even when he cries

Answer 4

I know how you feel :-)
My little boy is/was exactly the same. I found that if I leave a night light on and if I play a tape of disney music while he goes to sleep works. Although not everytime. I sit with him, lay him down and rub his back. Then over a period of like 5-10mins i go out of the room, not saying anything not having eye contact. Just so he knows he's not being abandoned, if he cries I let him for 1 min, then go and lay him back down again saying nothing, leave him again, if he starts crying leave it 5 mins then go back again and do the same thing, then 10 mins, 15 mins, 20 mins etc. It can take a while to work but my little one got it after about 3 days.
I also found a lavender bath before bed helps and having lavender oil burning for about 5 mins when he first goes to bed also calms him down.
Hope it helps and good luck :-)

Answer 5

You might need to take the 3 mo old out of the room for about a month to break your 2 yr old into his sleeping habits. Do all your nightly bedtime routine but as you say good night get up and leave and close a door if you have one on his room. He will scream and cry just pick him up and put him back in bed then tell him no it is time for bed goodnight. He gets up again and just pick him up and put him in his bed and say goodnight in a more stern voice. If he gets up again then don't say anything just put him back in bed close the door and walk away. After 30- 45 minutes of up and down and back and forth he will start to get the hint. Each night after this routine he will get easier and easier and take less time to get into bed for the night. You just have to be really persistent. Make sure after the 3rd time you just stop talking to him and keep putting him straight into bed. If he gets up for the rest of the night just keep moving him back into his bed. Once you give in and sing to him and do what he wants he will continue this behavior for years so break it now before you have 2 of them thinking they can take advantage of you. Bedtime is a pain but i broke my 4yr old of the crying bedtime nightmare using this method almost 2 years ago and I just showed a friend how to do it for her 2 yr old last month. It really works you just have to be prepared for getting some exercise and remember YOU are the parent so what you say goes and STICK TO IT. They will see you mean business. They wont like it but they will get used to it.

Answer 6

We had similar problems with our daughter. We first would rule out ear infections or other medical problems with her doctor. (Her ear infections always caused her more pain at night. She could also have terrible double ear infections with no fever, so it was really hard to tell if she was sick. She would wake up screaming bloody murder many time in the night.)

Then, we started giving her a little herbal tea designed to help her sleep, with doc's permission. We had a night time routine like yours we followed every night. We only read books about going to sleep and night time like: The Napping House by Audrey Wood, Franklin in the Dark by Paulette Bourgeois, Can't you sleep Little Bear by Martin Waddell, & Dr. Seuss' Sleep Book.

We also gave her a flower or Winnie the Pooh Stamp on her hands, arms, tummy using craft stamps & kid safe stamp pads for every part of the night time routine she did. We also bought her those silly glow in the dark planets & stars & she could choose one & put it up on her wall every time she went to bed without screaming & stayed in bed with no screaming.

We also got her a Winnie the Pooh sleep toy that lights up when she hugs it. We turned off the music part as that actually woke her up. This toy really really helped her.

Gramma got her one of those night light carousels where the colorful lights dance around the room. She would watch this quietly & fall asleep. Then we would go in & turn it off so it would not wake her up.

We also read the book by Jo Frost on parenting from the library. There are good sleep time helps & advise in there. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 7

I even have a 2 12 months historical youngster boy who could also be a choosy eater, so I can relate together with your tale. Your observations are rather traumatic, if it's going to supply you a peace of brain, cross get a moment opinion. About his consuming conduct, attempt to uncover ingenious methods to organize meals and be sufferer in introducing him to specific meals. It may even aid if you'll be able to invite toddlers of the identical age at your apartment for a snack or dinner, so he can also be inspire to consume. I uncover this process works when you consider that earlier than my son does not love to consume crackers but if he noticed different kids consuming it, he used to be competent to eat 2 packs. Sometimes its all approximately mirroring or modeling. We additionally comprise him for the duration of mealtimes so he can see us consuming additionally. I additionally incorporated right here a piece of writing approximately kids at age 2, it may additionally supply you a few further know-how approximately your 2 12 months historical.

Answer 8

If he is not sick, or jealous, he probably just doesn't like being by himself. I am not a fan of nightlights, however, you might consider a cd player with some soft lullaby music that plays continuously. It will calm him and his subconcious will hear and process it - calm, peaceful, etc.
Another thing if you happen to believe in God, is to pray with your toddler, let him know God loves him and has sent an angel to watch over him, and brother and Mom and Dad so you can all sleep quietly. Hope that helps some!

Answer 9

maybe try to let him sleep with you in your bedroom but with separete bed. at least take things slowly so he wont feel traumatic on letting him sleep alone. maybe when you let him try to sleep on the same room but a separate bed he wont have the feeling of having like nightmares, maybe you could teach him also the responsibility of keeping quiet so that the other baby wont be disturbed. this would also make him feel closer to the baby and would not develop jealousy between the two of them because kids think that when you spend more time with the other siblings you love them more even if its not true. then after awhile when he get used in sleeping alone in his bed, he would move to the other bedroom on his own will without you forcing him to sleep on his room.

Answer 10

Ok. Well, you may want to take your child to the doctor and maybe get him checked out there. He could be getting sick or something. Maybe, he has an ear enfection because most children get them. If you know he is not sick then maybe he just way to attached you. If you spoil him then he probably expects more from you. Try to be very stern and say, "Get in your bed now, if you don't them I am leaving this instant and you can just stay there and cry all night. Maybe even ask your doctor if there is anything you can do. Even though he might not be sick. I know this isn't the most helpful advice, but it is something. Good luck!

Answer 11

Sit with him rub his back until he goes to sleep, if he wakes up so be it. Do the same thing. Eventually he will get used to this routine and stay sleeping :) Good luck!!