I am a 25 year old native to New Orleans but currently living in Texas due to Hurricane Katrina. I found a job I really like and living in Texas has been good. My sister though who still lives in New Orleans calls me long distance daily and asks me "When are you coming home?", "You better come home to New Orleans!", "Your niece and newphew miss you they want you to come home" etc. I love my sister but I get the feeling she wants me to come home for selfish reasons, like baby sitting or to keep her company. I feel guilty for not wanting to be home with my family. They are not bad people, they loan me money when I need it, and are usually really supportive of me which makes me feel even more guilty. I feel like I owe it to her and my family to return to New Orleans. Does she miss me or is she just being controling? I have past issues with her and other family members being controling. Am I wrong for not wanting to come home? Or is she just really pushy and controling
2007-03-24 01:06:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It seems like it is more just hard right now for them to realize you are leaving the "nest" to make it on your own. As long as you keep asking for support from them though you have really not cut the ties to them. They loan you money when you need it? How often? How much? As for babysitting, if they were always helping you out whats the problem with you helping them out also at times?
Seems like since you have moved you are having also mixed feelings or you wouldn't be asking on here about it. You mention you feel guilty, why? are you missing the close support you had?
Give yourself time and be open with them saying you are not coming back for now that you are going to try and make it where you are. You will plan visits back with them and hope they also will visit with you when you get settled.
2007-03-24 01:14:43 · answer #1 · answered by Gypsygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes you just have to say I miss you too, and find a reason to get off of the phone. If you are happy where you are, live your life. I know how you feel and I have been there. I cannot live near my family because they made me feel guilty even though I really think they just wanted me to be closer to them. You have to live your life. I am also from New Orleans, and have family there too, but I go to see them, enjoy my time, and I go home and we are fine. Love your family, but if you think they have the ability to control you, keep your distance in miles, but keep the connections and love them.
2007-03-24 01:34:40 · answer #2 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your life, you are 25 years old, its time you did. You have found a place that you are happy in, I would stay if I was you. If she is lonely there is nothing wrong with you or her visiting each other. You have to go out on your own at sometime of your life whether it be near or far from your family and you are happy so don't go back for feeling guilty because she will be happy she has her company and babysitter back but you will be miserable. Tell her to go find some friends of her own and a babysitter. Live your life you only have one you are happy so live it being happy doing what you want
2007-03-24 02:19:24 · answer #3 · answered by shellhiggs07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she does miss you, but if you are happy where you are, do not go back to New Orleans. Guilt is not a good reason to move back there. If other family members have been controlling in the past, living in Texas is a great opportunity for you to enjoy life on your own. It's your life. Enjoy it!
2007-03-24 01:09:41 · answer #4 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In sort of same place i moved from WI to GA in october all my family lives in WI about a block apart they think family needs to be together some how and if were apart were not a whole family ive always been the out cast of the family and know deep down they do love me but i feel i must lead my own life and go where life takes me there are reasons we do what we do you can still contact her and stuff but be your own person think if you go back will you really be happy or just be doing it for her?do whats in your heart and whats right for you the disaster brought you where you are for a reason. P.s. sorry for the loss you all encountered there and good luck
2007-03-24 01:29:28 · answer #5 · answered by ibebarbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your better off staying in Texas, and keeping your independence, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THIS. You are not a puppet.
And you shouldn't accept money from family. Maintain a high moral standard, keep in contact, and be yourself. Tell her you are very happy in Texas, and you plan to stay there.
I would also wait another year before going back to visit. This will give her time to grow too.
Time to break them apron strings, and be a man or woman.
2007-03-24 01:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Craig T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to do anything. Tell them that your not coming back to New Orleans if you want to stay in Texas. Your somewhere you want to be. Not somewhere someone else you want to be. But you can still go visit them in New Orleans or something.
2007-03-24 02:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by Briann M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this is your life, and you may live wherever you choose! Tell you family you will visit them in New Orleans but you are happy living in Texas. This is nobody's choice except yours.
2007-03-24 01:11:12 · answer #8 · answered by Lal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it could be both, that she misses you, and could also be trying to get you home to keep her company. the point is that you are 25, and have found a great job in texas. stay, and go home once in a while to visit.
2007-03-24 01:33:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sister in regulation is fully low priced. I truly have one like that. A cousin of my Dad's became very helpful and his infants now very own a small airline. of direction, they do no longer look to be close family contributors contributors to us (much less to my sister in regulation) and we don't ever communicate... different than while my sister in regulation contains "bypass to" and ask for unfastened tickets.
2016-10-01 10:13:45 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋