If I tell him she will lie her way out of it and he will be upset with me for trying to start trouble between them. She's very vindictive and got mad at me once before and told him a lot lies about what I did to her. It was months before he spoke to me again. She knows I caught her and is being very bitchy when he's not around.
2007-03-24 00:54:45 · 44 answers · asked by Ladybug II 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I agree with Rick S's answer but maybe you could talk to one of your brothers close friends & ask his advice on what to do. Maybe he knows something as well about her & the two of you could get your brother to listen to the both of you. He knows your brother in a way you do not, so he may have an answer on how to approach him in a way he will listen without holing it against you.
Good Luck!
2007-03-24 02:42:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your brother needs some counselling. His wife is cheating on him and he can't even trust his own sister. He sounds so stubborn! Maybe he doesn't even care if she cheats on him.
What does he like to do? Where does he open up with you? Does he like movies? Don't tell him, but get him to watch movies where somebody's cheating on someone. Just get the ideas in his head that these things happen.
Who are his heros? Were any of them cheated on? Find out and bring the little stories into conversation.
He's probably just totally unprepared to go through what he has to go through: admit the possibility, admit that it actually is happening, admit that his relationship isn't going to magically get better, admit that he may need to get divorced, admit that he's going to be lonely for awhile. And because he's unprepared, he'll be leaving these things off of his mind at all cost.
This is a good book for dealing with difficulties: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It doesn't specifically address cheating, but you might even want to drop off the book. Pretty harmless. It's just stuff that will help him get through difficulties a lot easier. It really does look like he's got some difficulties that he must go through.
2007-03-24 02:35:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a pickle. If she continues to be bitchy tell her to back off. You have to tell your brother and let it go. If your brother chooses not to believe you, it is ultimately his decision. Just because he may not like what you have to say, he will never be able to tell you "you should have told me". After reading some of the other answers about finding and getting proof, if you have it go with it, but doesn't that make you a little scandalous too? Do you really care about proving it, or do you care about being honest with your brother? What she did was wrong. Give her the opportunity to tell him or you will.
2007-03-24 01:10:44 · answer #3 · answered by stormzsecret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you do a surveillance on her? Get your camera and watch her coming out of work and follow her? Stay in the background and then show your brother your evidence. Or hire a professional. Call your brother more often to ask his advice on anthing, like car problems or handiman stuff and then try to learn what's happening at night, if there's any plans the two of them have. Perhaps he'll tell you "Kim" has plans with the girls Thursday night, and then you'll know it might be a good time to follow her to get your evidence. Then show him. He won't be able to deny this. Wish you luck there!
2007-03-24 01:01:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's purely your boyfriend, no longer your husband. you're no longer a factor of your boyfriend's relatives, even in spite of the undeniable fact that he became very supportive and style to you and your daughter via allowing you complete get right of entry to to his father's domicile. His brother and his brother's babies are his relatives and he's being supportive of his relatives in the process a disaster - which you should understand. in case you have been his spouse, then that is yet another tale because of the fact then you definately may be his relatives and you may come first. no longer something stable comes from napping with or dwelling with a guy who has no longer taken you as his spouse. you're purely yet another female he's in touch with that should final months or years. this may be a effective existence lesson for you and with a bit of luck supply you some perception as to the style you should be dwelling. undergo in ideas, you're a function kind to your daughter.
2016-12-15 07:50:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just go to her and sit down and ask what problem they are having that she is feeling the need to go out with others? Something is happening within the marriage for this to be going on......ask her if she thinks your brother would go for counseling with her? put it like you understand there is a need she is having and something is lacking....that puts her in a more "forgiving" mood...and you in a better position to really talk to her....tell her it just upsets you that their marriage is not working and you want the best of course for your brother and for her.....(even if she is the one stepping out)...using the subtle approach will get your further than more anger and perhaps help your brother better
2007-03-24 01:07:35 · answer #6 · answered by Gypsygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you be sure (100% sure) of the wrong doing your brother’s wife is committing by having some evident (photos or video taping, voice recording, etc) so as to avoid any false accusation which would ruin your relationship with your brother.
And if you are 100% sure, then you should ask yourself what you wanna do with it as It would most of the time determine the consequence, ie to bring it to your brother (which would lead to confrontation and marriage failure) or to your brother’s wife (to seek her repentance and hopeful could salvage their marriage).
Frankly speaking, I believe everyone deserve a 2nd chance, like how God has loves us and forgive us of your sin, lets also give others a chance to repent.
May God’s love be with you and your brother’s marriage, Amen.
2007-03-25 18:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing that you need to do is to tell your brother what you know.Wether or not he will believe you, atleast you've given your brother the idea that such a situation is exists. Tell your brother you are not starting trouble bet. them but atleast advised him that there is nothing wrong if he just tries to accept the idea and start to keep an eye on her wife. Wether or not it is true,he will know the truth about his wife honesty.
2007-03-24 01:24:40 · answer #8 · answered by jaxt517 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tried once before and he didn't believe you, the best thing to do is stay out of it. Your brother knows his wife is unfaithful, but he doesn't want to admit it to himself and it's less painful to wear blinders. Her story will always sound better than yours, because he loves her. Sometimes people have to find out the truth in their own good time. By coming between his marriage, you'll just alienate your brother and that will only cause problems in your own life. When he comes to the realization, he'll talk to you. The truth always comes to light.
2007-03-24 01:07:53 · answer #9 · answered by mangosmoothie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say if she actually saw you see her cheating (depending on what the cheating consisted of..), then tell her over the phone or in person that you can't hide this fact bc it's your blood..and you "MAY NOT BE ABLE TO Keep this from him". Tell her if she doesn't tell him you may "Have No Choice But To Let Him Know" ..use those exact words..bc you CAN have him ask you questions about something you may have seen..get it?
You dont actually have to TELL him ..he can find out on his own by asking the right questions ok?
Then, if she says I wont or similar, then say "HE MAY ASK ME QUESTIONS that i will have to answer..." and leave it at that...
then let it go
2007-03-24 01:08:02 · answer #10 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋