How do I trust him again?

Question

Ive caught my fiance talking sorta flirtatious with his ex asking her to get on cam and stuff and he also did something that could of caused me to loose money and he lied about both things when I found out what he did. He has also lied and went and ate with his room mate and some girl. but he only told me he was going with his friend and she wouldnt be there. I wouldnt of cared if she went or not but he lied anyway.He has lied several times to me since we have dated.

Anyway, I guess where he lied several times last month about silly things he has lost my trust and now im always worried about what he might be doing and if he is lying when he tells me things. He has just made me paranoid and it sucks that its not like it use to be. He is a great guy and I love him to death, he treats me great he just has a lying problem and alittle bit of a flirting problem.

He told me no more lies and no more flirting and he seems really serious and he wants me to move with him in june.

suggestions?

The reason I believe he is serious is because he deleted his ex from everything he was able to contact her on. I didnt ask him but he did it voluntary. Im just nervous sometimes because he is 2 hours away in college except on weekends and he will be out of college in may but until he finds a job around our hometown he wants me to move down where his current job is.

Answer 1

This is his ex-honey. There is no deleting memory. You may think that he is going to change but you have no idea. You have to realize that yes he is a good guy but he may only be doing this because he wants to stay his ways and not have you mad at him for doing what he wants to do. He is your fiancee and you need to let him know that if he loves you then he makes sure you know that. Make sure if he desides to go out tell him you want to go with. If he says no or it's aguys night then you may want to tell him that you would like to go anyway. If he is going to see a female then he will say that he will stay home or something of the nature. Men are hesitant to give away themsleves. You need to keep a short lease. Flirts are hard to break but I know that you can do it. Good luck!

Answer 2

The good thing is you do love him and that he deleted his ex out of the picture. Guys do these crazy things for one or two reasons. It could be because this is what he grew up with as a child thinking very little for the female race. Or he truly is not being honest with his feelings about you. Either way you both need to sit down and talk this through. It is clearly you love him and moving in is a big step in a relationship. But trust is everything. Let him know until he earns the trust back and respects and love you the way he should marriage is off the table for the time being. You do not want to marry someone you clearly can not trust because in the long run your heart will be shattered. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

it's very hard to regain someones trust once they have lied especially several times to you. If it was just a flirt here and there and he wasn't cheating then I would say that you should talk to him and build up your self esteem. But since you know that he has lied to you on several occasions about things that are making you paranoid then i would suggest that you move on and leave him. There is no reason why you should put yourseld through that and not be completely happy. remember re;ationships are built on trust and you either have to get out of this relationship or accept that he willl continue to lie all the time.

Answer 4

He has a problem and I won't move in with him or marry him if he does what he does. If you dont trust him this will cause problems in the relationship and he lies so much I would wonder is he ready for a relationship let alone marriage. He seems to be hung up on his ex. Think twice before you committ to him. He keeps lying to you and that is something you really need to consider before marrying him. It's better to find out now what type of person he is instead of after your married.

Answer 5

Trust is important. If you do not trust him, I would hold off on moving in. It sounds like he doesn't even trust himself.

Some guys will lie about another female being around because they know that we get jealous and suspicious. But we usually have reasons to be. Some men will lie about that because they know the secret thoughts that run through their minds.

Just beware. Compulsive liars don't change overnight. Therapy is a good option.

Answer 6

It will take time to rebuild the trust you once had. Also, I recomend you put him on notice that id anything remotely like what occured happens again, you;re out of the realtionship. I hope it doesn't happen and it won;t be asy but you've given him a second cahnce. Don;t trun inot a doormat and get inot a revolving door of lie, forgive, lie, forgive, lie, forgive....

Answer 7

ok, first off, before you go moving in with him, let him run his normal routine in life, going out with friends and whatnot and then see if you catch him in anymore lies, if you do, then you obviously have a compulsive liar on your hands with possible cheating intentions. If that is the case, then don't move in with him cause then it will just get worse and you will be living with him on that, if you find out he's not doing anything then I say move in with him, but I will warn you, when you move in with someone, that's when you truely find out what kind of person they really are, trust me, I've learned that the hard way.

Answer 8

you do not want a man like that sweetie. Been there and done it. He never changed and in turn I divorced him after 3 kids. What was I thinking? My life is so much better now.

Answer 9

you know what to do, pack your stuff and get out, he is not loving you, he has shown the true self to you, how many times do you need to be cheated?

Answer 10

Try to fix your relationship but i'll think if you really love that person don't leave him .