me and my bf of 2 years live together, everything was good before he had cancer, 6 months ago he diagnosed with cancer, he has quit job now on the doles because his chemo is affecting his emotion, he is depressed many times, also he doesn't care about his health, eating crappy food, wouldn't excise, I try to be cheerful and hopeful but I just can't stop feeling anxious and UNHAPPY, i am 28 years old so is him, i know i am selfish but i need to look out for my own happiness, i am so unhappy, living in constnat fear of his death, having many panic attacks, how can i break up with him? i tried to tell him moving back to his parents home but he begged me to stay, how can i have guts and break up?
2007-03-23 23:35:46 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
U're have no feelings at all..He needs u the most now..U shld give him love & support..
2007-03-23 23:39:34 · answer #1 · answered by aNjAsMaRa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When your boyfriend was diagnosed with cancer it was God's intention to bring you closer not tear you apart.When someone is in crisis you give them love and support you certainly don't turn your back on them and walk away. Leaving him should not be a option and everything is still good don't treat him different because he has cancer.That doesn't mean providing sympathy but have some empathy. He needs positive reinforcement and I'm sure you can provide that. Look deep within yourself and just be as uplifting as possible. As one of his caregivers it is very important you show him strength and a positive attitude. Positive brings positive and whatever the outcome is will be God's will. I know at moment it might seem impossible but I would hate for you to have any regrets later on. Selfish is an understatement on your part far more rewarding being a loving caring individual!
2007-03-24 02:06:18 · answer #2 · answered by Aphreakywuman 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Job e. First off, your bf is depressed, and you should at least mention it to him that perhaps his oncologist should give him some antidepressants to help him cope with his doles.....but if your bf doesn't have the courage to fight the good fight, there is no reason why you have to stay and be dragged down like that. So who cares if it is selfish, the two of you obviously aren't THAT committed or you would be married, right? Tell your boyfriend that you can't live like this, watching him practically give up on life. Tell him that you can't stand by his side and support his decisions to eat poorly and not exercise, to give up. Tell him you believe it might be different if he was at least attempting to hold on, but he's giving up. YOU never know, you leaving for those reasons could be the kick in his pants that he needs to get a grip and FIGHT.
2007-03-23 23:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should go with him to his next doctors appt and you go back with him to see the doctor. Tell the doctor with your b/f sitting there just what you have told here ....that he is depressed, eating wrong, not caring.....this is really a depression phase that cancer patients go thru. This will help you understand and also let your b/f hear it from the doctor on how he can deal with his illness in a more positive manner.
Be frank with your b/f.....telll him you would stand by him forever as long as he put more effort into fighting but you will not or can not stand by him without him trying.
28 years old is a very hard age to deal with something so hard as this....well any age is, but at 28 you think you are going to live forever. But really, if your b/f won't let you go with him to the doctor...then you call them and tell them YOU have to talk to the doctor about what YOU know that he is not telling them.....and DO it.
2007-03-24 01:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by Gypsygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just put yourself in his position.Would you want him to dump you after he found that you had cancer.That would just hurt you even more .You would already be depressed as you have cancer and him dumping you would make you suicidal.
He needs you the most during this time.If you are selfish and uncaring you will be treated that way in the future when you need it the most.
Do try to be understanding.If he does pass away,you won't feel guilty because you didnt' ditch him.God will give you someone after that.
2007-03-24 01:29:11 · answer #5 · answered by singler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U'll get real happiness if you stay with him and keep him cheerfull till his end. I knw its hard for you to stay every min not knowing when his life will cease, but how much more will he have the fear of death and now if you break up even in a way tat won't hurt him, he'll be alone and tat will kill him all the more. Try to take him out and make him feel spl till his end.
I knw this is not wt u expect but lets try to be humane in this world which has lost love, care, affection and peace..
I'll surely pray for him and also for you
2007-03-23 23:42:53 · answer #6 · answered by Advengal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see what you mean, but you are being really selfish. What if he gets better, and then you wished you'd never left him. Just think about it. You don't want to make the biggest mistake of your life. Also, if you truly loved, you would help him through this hard time, not just sit around and pout. He may get happier if you actually try to help and be loving. I mean, you would be depressed too, wouldn't you?
2007-03-23 23:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by sahire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it kinda sounds selfish, and alot of people on here will say it is, but don''t listen. If he doesn't care and is to week mentally to fight then why should you. just tell him that his cancer is no excuse to start acting weak. tell him that you can not be with someone who doesn't have the b a l ls to fight. he used his cancer as an excuse to give up and that is only gonna bring you down. do not be scared to break it off because he doesn't care enough to overcome his issues so why should you. just move out and then tell him.
2007-03-23 23:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by job e 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would you do this to him, I would think he would need you until the end, and if you weren't a selfish person you would stay by his side through this horrible time. He begged you not to go back to your parents house because HE APPARENTLY NEEDS YOU.
2007-03-23 23:40:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just walk away COWARD. I just hope that you are not paid back in the future with someone that will do that when you need them the most.
2007-03-23 23:46:27 · answer #10 · answered by kelsey 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋