Did one of your parents cheat when you were growing up, does it still bother/affect you today as an adult?

Question

When i was about 13 my dad took me on holiday with his friends, a man and wife, their 2 kids, and one of their friends with her child.
We had a great time until one day i walked into tent, and there was my dad with his hands down the womans trousers (the friend of the couple) i was horrified and ran off screaming to the wife. She comforted me and gave my dad what for. It was terrible, my dad apologised to me etc, but i never forgave him for cheating on my mum, she hadnt come as she was working. I told my dad he had to tell my mum, which he said he did but i'll never really know what he told her.
Then another time i was at my aunties house who had some friends round, my dad was their aswell. I dont think the friends realised i was his daughter as one of them said "you lucky git the other night, going home with that woman, she was only about 25" then they started laughing, my dad went a funny colour, and i got up and left.
I have never forgiven my dad, he and mum are now divorced.

People who just want to be insensivtive, then go tell someone who cares. If you had experienced a cheating parents as a child then forgiving that parents can be hard, so smart remarks about seeing a doctor are not helpful. Needs 2 points that desperately do you?

Answer 1

My dad cheated on my mom more than once. She found out and the fighting in the house was awful. They are still together but, to this day ( 30 years later), my father and I have a terrible relationship. I think I have forgiven him but, I have not forgotten the lousy childhood I had as a result of his actions.

Answer 2

Yes, my dad cheated on my mother whenever he had the chance. I didn't realize this until I was about the age of 18.
My mom would never 'bad' mouth' my dad in front of my sis and I but I would hear things. So I asked when I was older.
My mom always knew he cheated but the straw that broke the camel's back was a time when my mom found receipts for apartment rent which he kept his girlfriend in. And we hardly had enough money to live on!.They divorced when I was about 11 yrs. old. He never was a very good Dad anyway...not close to us and all my adult life he never made the effort to keep in touch, etc. I'm much older now and dad died about 8 yrs. ago. I couldn't grieve for him and just decided he lost out on lots of family closeness. Your dad also sounds like he wasn't to concerned about your feelings if he took those chances with another woman when you were in the same vicinity. The name of that game is pure selfishness. I figure this; he's the older, supposedly a more mature person. Let him come to you if he wants forgiveness or some bonding. Sorry for your hurts...have a good life.

Answer 3

My mum cheated on my dad with my step dad and my step dad cheated on my mum! Some F***ed up individuals, my parents! I did go a bit weird in my early twenties, had a few one night stands and considered no ones feelings, not even my own. I did not realise how much I hated the idea of giving myself up to someone and expecting them to hurt me, as my parents had done to each other. It was not until I met my fiance now that I realised that there was nothing wrong with letting someone love you and look after you. His parents have been married since their teens and have had no one else and they have a very strong marriage and my other half has some very decent values when it comes to being in a relationship. I am glad I met him because if I had not, God knows where I would be now and who I would have slept with, not to mention the diseases I could have caught. If anything, my parents infidelity taught me that there were other ways to be happy and you don't have to hurt someone else in the process.

Answer 4

my mum had an affair which affected me at the time i think..but does not affect me now! she used to bring the bloke to ours while my dad was working away! i remember one time she was taking me on holiday to cornwall and i was so looking forward to it until i found out that the other man was going too! she really upset me for that and i think it was totally out of order! my mum n dad lived sperate lives for years really..grew apart i suppose!when my dad reached retirement he had a massive stroke which left him permanently parylised down one side so that affected me too..he died fifteen years later from cancer! my mum never left us as she says she could not have forgiven herself but there has been alot of guilt come out of my mum in recent years so it has affected her too really! the day my dad slipped away in the hospice..my mum went to pieces! we were not expecting that but she really was upset! she still feels guilty from time to time now..that will never leave her! at the end of the day i love my mum very much and we are close..she does so much for me and the children..she has made her mistakes for sure but then i think we all make mistakes! she feels good in knowing that just b4 my dad passed away she rubbed his chest as he was in discomfort and he said to her.."that's better" it is hard dealing with these things but you can get over it in time xx

Answer 5

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Answer 6

both of them cheated and broke our family up, so they are both as bad as each other.....one good thing came out of it....they freed us from their miserable lives

Answer 7

You need to get out more, is there really any need to relay all this information?.....I suspect this is a bit of a fabrication.
We all see and hear things that bother us. sometimes they come back as memories, if memories are bothering you then I suggest you see the doctor.

Answer 8

they say that you learn alot from watching people make mistakes.

Answer 9

Fibber!!

Answer 10

Never...