I've said some mean things in the past and i've hurt this person quite badly. He has yet to forget about it although i've apologised until now and i have changed as a person. He is still reminded of the past time and time again. It puts a barrier in our relationship. He feels that, because of those things i said, he is not able to move on with his life. He feels that he is stuck. I keep telling him they're just words and that I don't feel that way anymore. its been over 2 years and he still cant let go of the past. What should or shouldn't I do now? I'm at a loss.
2007-03-23 22:12:15 · 11 answers · asked by deuxphoria 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to let go of him. Why do you insist on making him change? You can't just turn off feelings. That is who he is. And it will always be a part of his life experiences. Just leave it at that and hope that over time it will subside. You created it so you have to live with it.
However,
Smash him in the head with a brick. You'll be surprised how well that works. With a sufficient wind-up, you'll never hear that whining again.
2007-03-23 22:25:44 · answer #1 · answered by nnucklehedd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Putting this face on it doesn't annul the difficulty that a poison layer of language can cause the recipient. It's not that your not sorry, it's not that he can't forgive you. It's the negative trust that has developed. He has no reason to believe you won't do it again. You had knowledge of the man, that was not secure in your possession. You knowledge of his situation was used against him. He has a right to be wary of you. To trust you would violate his sense of self preservation. You should let him go, tell him to try out his life again, and he will win over somebody not so willing to use intimate information to blister his hide. Mean words are your enemy, have always been, and won't get better. I'm willing to bet that the things you said were spoken while under the influence of alcohol, and in private, scathing, heated, and at the time I'm sure you thought he needed to hear such things. If a woman loves a man, she never tells him the truth. The truth is the way out the door. He's not the first,was he?. Stop the meanness, nobody can stand up to it. Reduces love to flight.
2007-03-23 22:32:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like what I went through, he can only gradually forget over time as it must have hurt him heaps, maybe you guys need to have a break to reflect and let him heal...
I just could not shake off what my bf did to me for years and I was angry at him all the time, it only took a break up for me to finally forgive and not feel so angry anymore, but now he is with someone else... So maybe it wasn't meant to be...
2007-03-23 23:49:40 · answer #3 · answered by Jasmina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop trying to stay friends with him, or he'll never get over it. He needs to let the thoughts and memories process in his mind, and he can't do that if you're still talking to him. Also, keeping in contact with him will give him opportunites to keep guilt tripping you for all that you have apologized for. If he doesn't accept your apologies, fine, leave him be with them. You make mistakes, you apologized, you've moved on, and he's going to learn to have to do the same. You don't have to be eveyone's friend, it's okay to let people go when their time with you is up and trying to stay "friends" is more trouble than it's worth. Good luck!
2007-03-23 22:20:32 · answer #4 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The pen is mightier than the sword. If he's anything like me he's probably shut down emotionally towards you which isn't likely he will get over. They're not just words, that was his heart. Be more careful in your next relationship.
2007-03-23 22:18:44 · answer #5 · answered by CrazyEddy06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i felt the same way towards my ex regarding things in the past. i guess i couldnt 4get it because it hurt me so much and i was petrified he would hurt me again. but regardless of me not forgeting the past, i loved him more tahn anything. do something that would would really showed him u care
2007-03-23 22:24:29 · answer #6 · answered by shoegal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is just words then what you say now is just words so why should he believe you now..Give him the best loving of his life and say he can have that every day if he excepts your apology if not you can not give that type of loving to some one that does not love you.
2007-03-23 22:21:50 · answer #7 · answered by kiss4u 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
whether or not he forgives you, is just up to the person. It either really hurt him, or he is now just not grown up enough to forgive.
If he can't forgive you, maybe you have to move on.
2007-03-23 22:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by forestgleaner 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a Taurus you can forget it. They never forgive and in his own time he'll try to forget but he'll never forgive.
2007-03-23 22:22:28 · answer #9 · answered by GoodGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people can forgive, but never forget.
2007-03-23 22:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋