I dated a girl i fell in love with. She cheated on me and left and came crawling back i forgave her. I treated her like gold. But couldnt get over it we fought alot and she said she needed time. She left me for another guy durning the time period. 3 months later she came crawling back again saying she learned from her mistakes after 2 months i took her back treated her like gold again but we fought about the past i said some things i didnt mean and she said she wanted time. I told her i learned from my mistakes like she did and would put everything behind me that i loved her. She said my choice to take her back was mine and she didnt make it for me. I said what about everything i done for u to make you happy. She said you cant hold that over my head. 2 weeks of time she left me agiain. I really love her but i dont understand why she would be with me for three years told me she loved everyday and keeped crawling back just to leave again.
2007-03-23 21:50:54 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
because you kept bringing up the past and rubbing it in her face... once you forgive someone you have to let it go and not bring it up again... you don't fight fairly
2007-03-23 21:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness.
Yet, I think at this point and for your own care and concern for yourself, it's time to move on with your life.
Yes it's tough. But it's something you have to face.
She's right in her comment about it being your choice to take her back. It was always in your hands. However, it is unloving to not make an effort to commit to improving the situation on both sides. In the end, you both let your selfishness get the best of you.
My friend, she cannot love you in the way you desire. You know how I know that? Because she obviously does not love herself enough to face her own issues.How would she ever have enough love for someone else and their issues?
A person that has one foot in the water and one foot on the ground's edge is a person that is generally confused by their own choices.
And though her actions have in fact caused you pain, realize that she was and always has been the first victim of her own choices.
You can't control her feelings. But YOU can control how the rest of your life is going to play out.
I've been in a very similar situation as yours, almost word for word. At the time I thought I was being forgiving and I'm sure in the start of it I was. But that over time transformed into selfishness and insecurity. And as you have found out, the injection of those fears came to pass because that's all that was given out. What else could have come of it?
She is not cruel, anymore than you are not.
See this has a building block and you will be the wiser.
2007-03-24 05:10:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut here lose. Run as far away as possible. You are problaly not the right person for here. rust me you don't want to be with someone who doesn't want you. Tuck your tail and run. The are to many women out here to be going thru this with her. You may meet some one that is better than her. If you decide to go back with here ask your self can you get over the past. If you can't then o take her back until you can Remember once a cheat is always a cheat.
2007-03-24 05:01:22 · answer #3 · answered by CHIN 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no offence but you sound like a door mat. She repeatedly cheats on you and you keep taking her back. Are you insecure? because it sounds like you are the one needing her and will put up with anything she throws your way. You say you have learnt from your mistakes but it doesn't sound like it, your mistake is to keep taking her back. You say you have forgiven and maybe you have but it is very hard to repair trust especially if it is continually being broken over and over again. Its time to move on and treat someone like gold who is going to appreciate it and not expect it
2007-03-24 05:04:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry!!
Neither of you are BAD people!!
YOU are just not meant to be together!! You BOTH need to stay away from each other (you are both kind of "hangin on").
Sometimes people feel "bonded" to each other when they really haven't made any commitment!!
I know that you will have a real "heart ache". You just have to "take a break and move on".
2007-03-24 05:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a selfish girl with very little conscience. For all the drama she has given you already, it is probably best to move on. You should be with someone who appreciates you and adores you. I would rather be alone than deal with all that garbage, wouldn't you?
2007-03-24 04:58:11 · answer #6 · answered by ppaper.wingss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you couldn't get over it and fought with her...that is NOT treating her like gold. If you treat someone like a dog chances are they will act like one. I'm wondering why she crawls back, also.
2007-03-24 04:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Im Listening 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my friend you are getting exactly what you paid for. it is YOU that must get counselling and deal with YOUR low self esteem.
YOU are setting boundaries with her and she is staying within her boundaries which are do whatever, whenever... I really dont mean to sound unkind but if you want any type of committment or loyalty you are shopping in the wrong store with this one AND you are shopping for a mean social disease, perhaps AIDS.
get this book!
http://www.amazon.com/Codependent-No-More-Controlling-Yourself/dp/0894864025
or try a meeting here and learn about raising your self-esteem!!!
...dont be fooled by the name, it is NOT just for children of alcoholics but also for ANYONE who is CO-DEPENDENT and YOU are CODEPENDENT and the CURE is HERE:
http://www.adultchildren.org/Meetings.s
2007-03-24 05:08:18 · answer #8 · answered by larrydoyle52 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go for a while. tell her you love her, but you can't be with her. my situation with my ex (embarassingly) sounds very similar. he broke up with me and it sucked like hell at first, but has been the best thing for me. space= growth= you'll find something that actually makes you feel good. if she's yours, she'll grow up some and come back, if not, you just lost a major pain in your *** and you'll move on just fine.
2007-03-24 04:57:58 · answer #9 · answered by mbleh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you knew very well that you have no backbone, so soon as she takes off her clothes and you will forget everthings she had done, no least, she also knew no girls want you, are you ugly or what? it since like you cant find another girl but waiting for her to come back.
2007-03-24 04:58:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
You should move on, don't let her walk all over you. She is messing with your head. Move on there are plenty of females out their that would treat you right.
2007-03-24 04:55:16 · answer #11 · answered by alckelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋