Having trouble coping with the loss of my mother......?

Question

She shot herself last sunday. I hadnt talked to her in over 6 months and now i feel so guilty, like this is my fault. i feel like she was lonely but didnt know how to reach out for help, and now she is gone and i dont know what to do with myself...

Answer 1

i am so sorry that you are going through this terrible ordeal. this is not your fault, this was your mothers decision. people don't just kill themselves on a whim, they are suffering from a mental illness. she did not kill herself because you had not been to visit, there would have been all kinds of stuff going on in her head. you could not have prevented this sweetie. no matter how much you love someone, you can't control them or their actions. your mum was sick, you did not give her this illness, and you could not heal her of it. now you have to think about what a wonderful place she is in now, she is safe, no longer sick, no longer lonely, happy in heaven. she would not want you to feel guilty or feel as if it was your fault. she would want you to get on with your life, she would want you to be happy and live life to the fullest, you know she would. she is in heaven with family and her angels. there is something you can do to help yourself feel better. write a letter to your mum and tell her how you are feeling, get it all out on paper. but please don't feel guilty, none of this was your fault in any way. good luck sweetie.

Answer 2

1. Your mother was lonely,
2. you hadn't talked to her for six month,
3. she shot herself
4. now you don't know what to do with yourself...
Let's carefully consider your responsibility over those 4-issues...
1. Your mother was lonely; this is not your responsibility, every person has his/her free-will to be lonely or not!
2. Hadn't been talking to her for six month; yes it demands some responsibility of you, because not talking to mother is not advicable to any person;
3. She shot herself; well, it must be her own choice. She is fully responsible with her act.
4. You don't know what to do...; yes, because you consider that the whole situations fall into your responsibility, which is wrong!
My advice: carry the guilt of not fulfilling no. 2 responsibility only, then your burden will be lightened, and you will be able to think about what to do in the future;
Last but not least; ask some support from a spiritual councellor, regardless of what your religion is, because you are now in the threat from the devil who had succeded in provoking your mother to commit suicide. Do not fall into the same devilish trap.
Be blessed

Answer 3

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my mother 3 years ago under totally different circumstances, but knowing the pain I imagine there is not much difference. I still struggle everyday. The future is the only thing I can look toward without sadness. I wish you lots of support and understanding.

Answer 4

This is not your fault, it's your mothers. Suicide is an action that hurts others. Try to think of the good times with your mom. What's done is done. Talk to others, enjoy life. Don't let yourself dwell upon what-ifs and all that.

Answer 5

dont blame yourself...and share what feelings you have about it with someone you trust...dont you go thinking that she did that because of anything you did or didnt do...keep your chin up, remember to eat and get some exercise...it will keep your head clear...do not hide in your skin...e mail me if youd like to unload on someone you dont know who will listen and not judge...tc...