are you outgoing or withdrawn?

Question

I am withdrawn and insecure. I like to stay to myself----in solitude, and not be around very many people, because I've been treated badly by many people before. I usually feel awkward when I first meet someone, because I really don't know what to say. I'm very standoffish and like to be off to the side and I'm not very conversational. I wish I were outgoing, because it would be nice to have really close friends for a change, someone I can call and talk to whenver I'm down, and someone I can go out with to parties or clubs, or just watch movies with every now and then, and not feel so alone all of the time---but my awkwardness won't allow me to.

Answer 1

I was the withdrawn type when I was growing up, but over time I had began to open up to people. My mom told me that had I been homeschooled I would have been even more withdrawn because I wouldnt have the experiences I had and learning how to get along with people outside of my environment. Sometimes you have to force yourself to do things you don't want to do and the only way to get over your fears is to put yourself in situations to begin socializing with people. I've been treated badly too, but that didnt stop me from making friends and having boyfriends and dating.

I am actually more outgoing than I used to be and now it's actually pretty cool I got a lot of friends I hang with now

Answer 2

I am not outgoing in real life either, to be honest. I have been burned before by people and I am sensitive to such. Like you, I share in the fact that I feel awkward meeting new people and I often don't know what to say.

But, even moreso, when I am with a group of people that a friend or family member introduced me to, I get very, very nervous, to the point that I usually want to leave until I can determine if they are good people to hang out with. At that point, I listen way more than I talk, and if I find a member of that group I feel comfortable around, I usually open with some kind of joke to break the ice. If I don't like the group, I get defensive, almost in a "fight or flight" mode.

I have two friends in my life, both of which are golden to me. And I would rather have two friends I know I can count on than ten who will use and abuse me.

Unlike you though, I am actually very comfortable being alone. I am not very social, and I just.... well, I don't like to associate with people all that much, online or offline. Sometimes when I'm online though, it can a different story, and I am a lot more ongoing in chats than I am in public places. After all, you can always throw a person who bugs you on ignore.

Personally, it's okay to not be so outgoing. While it is human nature to be social, not all of us are all that willing to be party animals. If someone says you're wierd, shrug it off. I get it all the time, but I'm proud to be different.

If you feel like you need to chat with someone though, feel free to send a message to me (I have a link in my profile which you can use to do so). Or, you can try logging in to Yahoo Chat to find new friends.

Answer 3

I'm both outgoing and withdrawn : when I first meet someone, I sometimes don't know what to say...But then, when I get to know the person better, I get outgoing...Depends on the person too.

Answer 4

I am outgoing. You need to get out and make some new friends. Try going to a coffee shop and chatting up the people around you.

Answer 5

I am very much like you. If you really want to change, you can. As for me, I have not changed after so many decades! I don't think I will ever change much. As they say, once the bamboo has matured, it can't be bent easily.

Answer 6

GOD! R U Sure U R not My Sister Or Sumthin? U R my Exact Copy ! Let's Chat [e-mail] [MSN/ email]

Answer 7

It's weird it's like your describing me, IM or E-mail me some time, id love to talk.

Answer 8

I'm withdrawn myself also.

Answer 9

I am both; it just depends on the situation and environment.

Answer 10

I'm outgoing - extroverted...