How do i control my anger?

Question

I'm 15 and have major issues. when i'm angry i turn into this other person and don't know what i'm doing or can't remember what i have done afterwards. I throw stuff, break stuff, and i have previously punched holes in the wall. I say lots of stuff i don't mean to my family, and i feel really bad for my mom.

Do you think it has anything to do with the fact i was constantly bullied at school, or that my dad is totally *d up as far as his temper?

Answer 1

Strategies To Keep Anger At Bay

Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help calm down angry feelings. There are books and courses that can teach you relaxation techniques, and once you learn the techniques, you can call upon them in any situation. If you are involved in a relationship where both partners are hot-tempered, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these techniques.

Some simple steps you can try:

Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won't relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your "gut."

Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as "relax," "take it easy." Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
Practice these techniques daily. Learn to use them automatically when you're in a tense situation.

Cognitive Restructuring

Simply put, this means changing the way you think. Angry people tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your thinking can get very exaggerated and overly dramatic. Try replacing these thoughts with more rational ones. For instance, instead of telling yourself, "oh, it's awful, it's terrible, everything's ruined," tell yourself, "it's frustrating, and it's understandable that I'm upset about it, but it's not the end of the world and getting angry is not going to fix it anyhow."

Be careful of words like "never" or "always" when talking about yourself or someone else. "This !&*%@ machine never works," or "you're always forgetting things" are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there's no way to solve the problem. They also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you on a solution.

Remind yourself that getting angry is not going to fix anything, that it won't make you feel better (and may actually make you feel worse).

Logic defeats anger, because anger, even when it's justified, can quickly become irrational. So use cold hard logic on yourself. Remind yourself that the world is "not out to get you," you're just experiencing some of the rough spots of daily life. Do this each time you feel anger getting the best of you, and it'll help you get a more balanced perspective. Angry people tend to demand things: fairness, appreciation, agreement, willingness to do things their way. Everyone wants these things, and we are all hurt and disappointed when we don't get them, but angry people demand them, and when their demands aren't met, their disappointment becomes anger. As part of their cognitive restructuring, angry people need to become aware of their demanding nature and translate their expectations into desires. In other words, saying, "I would like" something is healthier than saying, "I demand" or "I must have" something. When you're unable to get what you want, you will experience the normal reactions—frustration, disappointment, hurt—but not anger. Some angry people use this anger as a way to avoid feeling hurt, but that doesn't mean the hurt goes away.

Answer 2

What you're experiencing is something called "blind rage". My brother does it too. There's always an underlying issue or reason you're doing it. And it can be very VERY dangerous. I'd strongly suggest that you talk to a counselor or get some kind of help...think about what's going on, or what has gone on in your life to cause you to be angry...it may be something you don't even remember, because suppressed memories/feelings can cause it too.

Just get some help, before you hurt yourself or someone else. You don't want to live with that kind of regret when it's avoidable.

Answer 3

What i have learnt to do when i get really angry is take some deep breaths and remove myself from the situation. Try counting backwards from 10 before you blow up. You may also want to get some counseling to help with this.

Answer 4

Could Be all of those...Before any angry outburst many auto thoughts precede based on past experiences and projected into the present...think deeply about things that happened to you and how you felt about them...think about them and then let them go...It's the past and has no businessin the present or future..

Answer 5

while parents are examples, don't try to blame ur personal problems on them. i'm sick of that kinda crap. as far as ur temper goes....
i struggle with anger too. if ur problem is that people get to you with their jerky habits, my dad gave me the advice to pretend you have a bubble around you and whatever they do/say to bug you, just bounces off that bubble. don't let them get to ya, see?
you could try what i do and just count to ten slowly. when you hit ten, take a DEEP, angry breath, like ur inhaling all that anger, then just exhale as much breath out as possible till you feel like you've "exhaled the anger." try it. hope that helps, babe!

Answer 6

wow...sounds like me in my past...i got through it ever since I found Jesus. I said alot of mean things to my family too, i kicked a hole in the wall once, smashed a mirror, broke my brother's fishing pole, broke a ps2, broke dishes, fought with my brothers. but Jesus changed me ever since i said i was really sorry and asked him to help me and i'm doing much better now.

Answer 7

dude, no offense, but you cant blame what you do on anyone. i know. believe me, i do. anyway, find a way around anger. when you feel any agitation, make fun of yourself. it may not work, but it works for me. or get a really addictive hobby. that always works.

Answer 8

i know how you feel, when i get angry i pretty much destroy anything in my path verbally or physically depending on what it is my dad and family have nothing to do with it though

Answer 9

Use your brain to control it, do something you've wanted to do for a long time, write down how you feel, or just take a drive...maybe even jog?

Answer 10

LOT'S of counseling worked for me.

Good Luck!