Me and my boyfriend have been together completely for over a year. A year ago i had a baby and i gained some weight and got a TON of stretch marks ALL OVER my body.....im quite pale too so they are still bright red...and i think its sooo gross..but he says it doesnt bother him and that he still likes me for the way i am! Could this be true?
Could he really not mind what has happened to my body ever since the baby? I mean really, It sounds so crazy to me. but i know looks arent everything...its just that i cant even have completely nude sex anymore because im so unconfortable about my body, and he wishes it wasnt like that.... but im thinking that if he did see me fully nude, hed be like, GROSS and hate it.....
What do I do?!
2007-03-23 20:26:39 · 35 answers · asked by LostInTheCrowd 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your stretch marks will fade over time. I have dated a lot of women that have kids. A lot of them have the same feelings you do. One girl I dated for two years would not be on top without wearing a shirt, because she was so self conscious about it. I honestly didn't care, and I don't think your boyfriend does either. You are the mother of his children, and he is still with you. It sounds like he loves you to me. Everyone has flaws and everyone ages, even the beautiful people you see in magazines and on film. Start appreciating what you have, and worrying less about what you don't have.
2007-03-23 20:36:05 · answer #1 · answered by wileycoyote_the_supergenius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the deal he loves you, so he sees you different than you do. Don't worry so much I'm sure you look fine. You just see all your flaws and not the rest of you that is beautiful, he sees the beautiful part of you.
If you want to lose the weight and stretch marks you can. My sister has had 4 kids and to look at her you could never tell my girlfriend has a kid and she has the body of a model but they both work very hard for it only eat health foods and lots of toning exercises. talk to a doctor about the stretch marks they can be eliminated with topical creams
2007-03-23 20:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by Wraith53089 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a good relationship includes but not all of risk to hiding nothing from your partner.
Try not to see your stretch marks as a burden but as an opportunity.
Use the opportunity to see if he is telling the truth. Knowing how your partner feels is the greatest stepping stone to any relationship. Hiding any secrets or covering any fears only holds you back and removes any stepping stones.
If he truly does mean what he says, then there should be nothing to hide.
If you're afraid to go completely nude, to be seen, try to have intimacy in a dimmer area, that wont shed as much light on your stretch marks. Gradually make the light brighter and your partner will be attuned to it.
Don't be afraid of self image, for lack of confidence is unattractive.
Don't hesitate to ask more med_messiah@yahoo.ca
-Steve
2007-03-23 20:33:02 · answer #3 · answered by MedMessiah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally insane at the level women will put themselves in misery trying to attract the opposite sex.
Please ladies, put down the Cosmos. Open your eyes.
Men are relatively simple in their needs of the opposite sex. But don't equate that to ignorance mind you.
Woman are vain because the media makes them that way. It says, Men are vain and shallow and will leave you at the unsightly presence of stretch marks, here's the latest cream to help conceal all your blemishes of life. It's a total marketing stunt that women just can't seem to get purvey to.
Men DO have the ability to see women in a fuller sense.
It's destructive to impose your vainness and judgmental nature on asthetics to others. Why, it's crueler than having to sport around bright red stretch marks for the rest of your color coordinated life.
Realize, there are children right now in Iraq and Darfur that have had their limbs blown off.
I think if your boyfriend says it's fine you better damn well take his word for it. Ultimately, anyone can say anything. His actions will tell you everything you desire to know.
You gave life. Those marks are beauty marks to be celebrated not concealed. Stop passing your insecurities onto others who have no apparent issue with it. You're causing destruction to yourself and others. Learn to be more open minded and less vain.
2007-03-23 20:56:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit worrying about it so much. If he isn't worried you shouldn't be making mountains out of mole hills. One thing you might do is go to the drug store and talk to the pharmacist. I think I read where there is some kind of over the counter cream that is supposed to fade stretch marks. You will still have them but they won't be as noticeable.
2007-03-23 20:32:10 · answer #5 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen girl. My wife's first pregnancy brought us a couple of twins, a boy and a girl, that weight more than 7 pounds each (over 3,5 Kgs, each). Can you imagine the stretch marks she got? We - after 32 years - keep happily married. If there's love, the way you look it's absolutely secondary.
2007-03-23 20:43:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i am kinda in the same boat. Me and my girl have been together for 4 years and she got pregnant and gained some weight and got stretch marks. I am perfectly fine with them dont even really notice. I tend to look at the more beautiful asspect of my girl so i believe your man could be the same and have no problem with you. I believe you should just believ in your guys love and turst him that he doesnt mind it.
2007-03-23 20:30:57 · answer #7 · answered by usofemerica12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably loves you completely. Some guys aren't turned
off by stretch marks, because of a rare belief they go by.
Listen with your heart to these words, "Stretch marks really
aren't ugly like ladies think, because stretch marks are your
woman's proud war medals!"
Don't be ashamed of your body, because your man isn't.
Slowly examine your body after your shower, and imagine
the joy that each one of those marks brought. Caress each
one, and eventually you, too, will see the beauty that your
husband does--and, you;ll like it, too!
2007-03-23 20:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by SlownEasy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well do a little research find out what works best to heal the scars. I think vitamin E works and they have scare stuff at the store now. they say to use coco butter lotion when your pregnant to keep stretch marks down. You have to love your self first and the other people can love you. Do you best that is all you can do.
2007-03-23 20:34:57 · answer #9 · answered by GUMBY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men(98%) wont confess it BUT yes it's G-R-O-S-S
Most men just start looking at other women as the "Holy Grail"..... but other men will just ACT-OUT-ON by having affairs with women(Younger) without stretch marks...... BUT theirs nothing far worse than a woman with fat and marks....
There are good diets out, to lose fat and there are places that use laser's to remove those marks...
My finial BUT but make sure your doing this for you NOT him because no matter what you change or do if he truly loves you then it wont matter how wide or how many marks
2007-03-23 21:37:51 · answer #10 · answered by Christopher T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋