Check this for grammar, only active voice (no passive voice) and make it shorter w/o taking facts/info away.?

Question

At 2220 hours I was dispatched to 3880 willow st., Costa Mesa, CA 92344 to investigate a reported spousal abuse. On arrival I met with the victim, Jane Wesson.

Jane told me his husband, Bill Wesson, came home from work reek of alcohol. He had an interview that wasn’t successful. They started fighting and one thing led to another. He grabbed her by the neck and slap her left cheek with his right hand.

I asked Bill if he was hurt and he said no. I told him he is being arrested for domestic violence. I told him to turn around, put his hand behind his head and spread his leg.

Evidence
1) Photograph: 1) Neck.
2) Left cheek, Right Cheek, Full Headshot.

Forward this report to the investigation division

The whole thing has to be in past tense

Don't worry witchway915, this is a practice made -up report.

Answer 1

try this

At 22:20 (date), I was dispatched to 3880 Willow Street; Costa Mesa, CA 92344 to investigate a report of domestic violence. Upon arrival I met with the victim, Mrs. Wesson.

Mrs. Wesson stated that Mr. Wesson had come home from work with the strong odor of alcohol after an unsuccessful interview. They started arguing. The argument escalated and Mr. Wesson grabbed Mrs. Wesson’s neck and slapped her left cheek with his right hand.

Mr. Wesson stated he did not receive any injuries during the confrontation. Mr. Wesson was then informed that he was under arrest for domestic violence. Proper procedure was then followed to perform the arrest.

Evidence:
1) Photographs (4):
a) Mrs. Wesson’s Neck.
b) Mrs. Wesson’s Left cheek
c) Mrs. Wesson’s Right Cheek
d) Mrs. Wesson’s Full Headshot.

Forwarded report to the Investigation Division


my question is why does it need to be shorter?

i would think that it would need to be longer and have more facts.

if this is an actual report that you are putting together PLEASE tell me that you changed the address and names for confidentiality if not then int the words of Michelle Tanner (from Full House) "You're in BIG trouble, mister!" if this is true then my next question is why do you need our help? as a trained officer you should know how to put a police report together. if you don't then, wow they let you wear a badge and carry a gun???

Answer 2

And ... WHY do you need this done?

If one of my officers tossed this to me as his report, I'd probably burn it in front of him, sue the academy, and fire his training officers.

Is this an assignment for a class?

- Carl

Answer 3

Being succint is an art form. My favorite is " saw drunk, arrested same."