My step son and his sister have been here for a week. During that week he has lied, bullied the other children, pushed my son, picked on my duaghter and hit his sister. He says that his mother did not send him with his medication. I feel that that is just an excuse to get away with his bad behavior. I am afraid to have him up here again and he wants to stay the entire summer. I have to work and I worry about the safety of the other three kids. Advice? I plan on talking to his dad after we take them home tomorrow.
2007-03-23 19:33:21 · 13 answers · asked by mcgrawm7 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
His mom and dad have been divorced for ten years and mom moved a woman in after he left. Her and this woman have been together ever since. They daughter tells me that he does it home too and that she wants to come live with us.
I do not think he likes me, but I think it is because I do not tolerate his behavior. It has nothing to do with me being the "new" mommy, because I am the second wife since the divorce.
2007-03-23 19:45:28 · update #1
What ever you do don't push him away don't make him feel any less you don't know how he's getting treated over at his mom's.
Show him love even though he's not your child divorces normally hurt children and they get affected by it. I understand you have children of your own but you may want to talk to all of them with kind loving word's when they come around. Children with a.d.d or a.d.h.d need Lot's of love and attention they will do things to make sure their getting it. When ever he does something good praise him for it and he will like it and want to do more of it. I don't blame him for wanting to be with his daddy for the summer he's not around him the way he would like to. Take it easy and I know this can be frustrating for you because you have other way's bringing up and teaching your children you don't want them to get influenced in anyway.
When you talk to your husband make sure you think about what your going to tell him because the last thing you want is an argument to break out. You got to understand that this is his child and he's always going to be in his life no matter what. Your the adult and have to make things work for the better. You never want to push your husband away from his children because if this happens you will be the blame and you will be reminded. Children will be children and yes they can get out of hand this happens. Your husband has every right to have his children he needs to do that he needs to stay active in their life's and show them Lot's of love because they need it.
Grown ups make Lot's of mistakes but it's not the children's fault and definitely they got to face their responsibilities.
And I really believe that medicine is not the answer they tried putting my son on it when he was 9yrs. old I didn't let them I was against it. My son is 13yrs. old now and he's getting good grades very smart and is very lovable. I was right my son didn't need medicine. That just makes things worst. It's normal for a kid to be hyper they out grow it. May be we should pay more attention to the ones who are too quite.
Pray for strength.
2007-03-23 20:33:25 · answer #1 · answered by amores 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i have to say you got to lay down the law and I had behavior problems when I was younger like I had ADHD, and I was crazy, first see if there is something deeper see he could be jealous and not knowing how to cope with a new family be firm and loving and treat the kids equal, don't treat him better or worst than your natural kids love the hell out of him, He might be an attention seeker. Don't write him off convey to him you are not replacing his mom and you are not a threat you just want him happy safe and happy like the other kids. i am a mother of 5.5 kids and also I take care of a host of other 3 other kids who are 12 and 13
2007-03-23 19:53:16 · answer #2 · answered by Lady_Ceanna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first i would tell his mother to send his medication.. then talk to his father.. and at the same time, while it is important that your kids are safe, it wouldn't hurt to look at it from his side and see where he's coming from, divorces are majorly hard on children and it gets even harder when one parent gets a new family, he may feel like he's not as loved as them because they get his dad all the time and may be feeling jealous and a whole assortment of other feelings, maybe it would help for the whole entire family to sit down and have a talk about it, and also make him feel loved by you too.
** just read the additional information- this is even more reason to have a big sit down and talk it all out, it sounds like he has had a majorly rough time of it!!!
2007-03-23 19:41:06 · answer #3 · answered by jarellsmom 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aparently your step son has very bad behavior and
you or your children should not have to tolerate it.
If he acts like this at your house what does he do at home.
2007-03-24 02:30:49 · answer #4 · answered by jojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? And why do you feel you have to wait until he goes home before you discuss this with his father?
If the father wants him to visit, then he must stay and home and control his little boy, who obviously needs him.
Sorry - but in this situation, your kids come first.
2007-03-23 22:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the kids father to get him his medication. If the kid keeps acting out you might have to go into counseling. as a family, it sounds like you have a lot going on, counseling does help
2007-03-23 19:45:08 · answer #6 · answered by ralahinn1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with the "Get over it" comment. No. That is very serious and you need to talk his mom and dad. Privately. And if nesc. talk to the child! And talk to his parents about your roll in discipline. I actually believe in spankings. but you may not. Also, seek counseling with him. That should help everyone.
2007-03-23 19:45:36 · answer #7 · answered by S4tisf4ctionz 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your number 1 responsability is to your children if you make any excuse into not doing what is absolutely the best for them you are being negligent. You should know this.
2007-03-23 19:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by H M 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Your childrens safety comes first, even if it means not letting the step kid stay there.
2007-03-23 19:36:56 · answer #9 · answered by orcaspirits 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
your kids come first.. but its not ur son also its ur step son.. let HIS father handle it .. otherwise ur doin good enough by puttin ur foot down.. just let ur husband know you dont want him stayin the summer
2007-03-24 03:19:57 · answer #10 · answered by UNiQUE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋