I have a very difficult time attending bridal showers if a couple is living together. Bridal showers are intended to help a couple establish a home together. If a couple already has that home, I feel that a shower is a poor and greedy way of "upgrading" their stuff. Look...you've lived together for a while now, and you have registered for everything!!!...You mean to tell me you've been living without bed sheets this whole time??? I don't think so!
Sometimes I feel alone in this issue. Does anyone feel the same way?
2007-03-23 19:23:02 · 12 answers · asked by Melissa B 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I don't have a problem with the wedding gift, it's the shower that is the problem.
The whole point of the shower is to bring gifts, you can't attend one with out giving them something (on the registry or not). It's just the principal of the whole thing that gets me.
2007-03-23 19:36:14 · update #1
Ok I just have to respond to some of the answers...
Getting together to celebrate your upcoming wedding, to drink and socialize is called a "party" or an "engagement party", NOT A SHOWER. Most people don't register for a party!
Shower= Shower with gifts!
A bridal shower is a very traditional tradition. If you are living together than you're not really "traditional" now are you? I think it's very rude to ask people to partake in your B.S. You've already set up shop, lets not be greedy now!
I don't care who throws the shower, the point is that it is totally inappropriate.
2007-03-24 06:50:35 · update #2
correct. lots of people are screwed up big time, they live together--they have kids out of wedlock, then they expect wedding showers and gifts and baby showers and white gowns and honeymoons all to get divorced in 2 years. no bridal shower if they cannot observe proper and respectable living arrangements--people today make a mockery out of everything, today many brides are fat ho's, then they expect the same consideration as the well brought up young ladies i know. no way.
2007-03-23 21:10:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 6⤋
I agree with you completly BUT I recently got married and refused to have a bridal shower since I had been living with my husband for 12 months. My friends arranged a surprise get together where they all put in money for tupperware - they said it was to help celebrate the fact I was getting married and get in the mood.
As for gifts on a wedding registry, most people getting married (or I should say, people I know getting married) have always been on a budget, had cheap towel/ sheets etc many see the wedding registry as a way to get better quality items. If you don't want to give a gift, don't but most people would like to buy the couple something to celebrate their union - even if they have lived together.
2007-03-23 21:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by Andrew J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So if the couple lives together they shouldn't get gifts then do you feel the same about people who live on their own already (but in separate homes)? They have all the necessities to survive too! I think this is fueled by poor judgement. If you don't agree with giving gifts becuase the couple don't "need" them then don't but I also think it would be very rude to not go at all just because they already live together. If it was your best friend wouldn't you want to go just to celebrate with her? I don't understand why people are so judgmental about the whole thing, look it's none of your business anyways. If you spend all this time worried about how other people live then how are you going to have time for your own life?
2007-03-24 06:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Wendy Kim 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of negative ppl on here. Bridal showers ARE thrown by your friends/family, not the bride. They are showers for lingere(spelling?) and other things that are not necessarily househould. It is no less special because you live together? I live with my fiance, but in a two bedroom two bathroom apt(believe it or not but we don't have sex or sleep together). So I will register for household items(such as sheets and comforter sets that will be for us as a couple. I will finally get rid of my pink girly stuff). Showers are also little parties for the bride. Its to socialize and have drinks, fun, whatever. At the wedding there will be so many ppl and so much going on you won't get as much time to spend with the happy couple. So, showers are perfect for smaller intimate groups. And when you come to showers, you often bring a gift, but it is not expected. It can be a gift card to target or wherever they are registered. I will say that there are of lot of things we do have but there are alot of things we don't have. So, when I register I won't register for lots, Ill register for just the things we really need but havent bought yet(such as silverware that doesnt rust after 5 washings and cost me $1.50 from the dollar store.) I will appreciate gift cards or anything that is given.
2007-03-24 04:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by nonamegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow!! you guys sure are bitter!! I am getting married in a month. And yes i'm having a bridal shower. But it's not the couple that throws themself a shower, it's family or friends. They are throwing the shower and I'm not turning that down! I've lived with my fiance for a year now and we are using my mom's old 1970's appliances. So it sure would be nice to have newer things. And like most of you said, i don't expect anyone to give me upgrades and shower presents. BUt it's really a great time to get together with family and friends to celebrate our wedding. that's the most important thing. I think you guys should spend less time being so judgemental.
2007-03-23 22:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by ashstrom 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I had a bridal shower and my husband and I lived to gether for 6 years before we married. We simply had a tea/snack get together and requested no gifts, just your presence (instead of presents!). A lot of people brought small things, but knew that we had enough. It wasn't for the gifts, just to celebrate this big step in our lives (it's still big, even though a person lives with their partner first!).
2007-03-23 19:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by Elle3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a problem with them all together. a married couple should fill their own home with the things they need. other people shouldnt do it for them. giving a gift at the wedding is fine, but a shower is just to get gifts. I went to one when I was younger and it was sad really. people just sat around talking, played a few cheesy games then watched the bride to be open gifts. how pathetic. thats why I never had one and I specifically told people we didnt want gifts. we got some anyways and we loved them, but we didnt want/need anything. I agree with you though. it they have been living together then they shouldnt need anythign and shoudlnt be having a shower at all.
2007-03-24 06:13:56 · answer #7 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A registry is not a way for people to tell you to give them something... it is a courtesy to let you know what they would like should you want to give them a gift. If you are invited to attend a wedding (regardless of their living quarters) you are probably someone that matters to them... with that in mind you might wish to give them a gift to "wish them well". If you do not wish to do so, dont. However, you shouldnt get angry with them for registering.
The idea of the shower is to share in their joy... yes gifts are often a part of that, but they are still not required.
2007-03-23 19:29:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 0⤋
think about it it a BRIDAL shower meaning for the bride. so u would bring a gift for the bride mostly lingerie things she wouldnt normally buy for herself and things she could WOW her hubby eith on their honeymoon and after. it doesnt matter how long they have lived together. its for the bride...
2007-03-24 02:12:15 · answer #9 · answered by luv41anatha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think this way too but to each there own i just dont buy a gift i tell them if they need help with something i will help them like take photos or help set up reception but i dont buy a gift
2007-03-23 19:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by family fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋