Just wondering who thinks its right to spank there kids?

Question

I have never thought it was right.. I have a almost 10mnth old and I dont think I would EVER lay a hand on him. Im sooo much bigger then him and I am so much stronger then his little self I just couldnt do something like that. I dont like the idea of spankings.. I know my parents always said I would do the same thing but I dont and wont. They spanked me and even tho it was there choice I still belive that it was/is very wrong. There are SO many other ways of going about punishment!!

What is your opinion on Spanking your kids? and if you don't spank what do you do when your kids do something wrong?

Answer 1

I don't know what the deal is with some parents....... I have seen people spank thier kids in public, and it just creeps me out. I was spanked, my husband was spanked.... but we just never did that to our kids. If you can understand the world and the things that children get upset about from a childs point of veiw, then it is easier to not get so bent out of shape about what you kid is doing or saying.

Answer 2

I only spank when it's an extremely dangerous situation that needs extra attention. Example: my three year old runs into the street so I give her a swat and tell her it's never okay to run into the street and that she must always wait for me and hold my hand.

But pulling down the pants, spanking with a belt, "you're getting a spanking when your father gets home" kind of behavior is just ritualized abuse that has been condoned by society for some reason. If you're raising your child right with consistent rules, love and not demanding 100% control over his/her every choice then spanking is unneccessary.

I discipline using time out. 5 minutes in time out fixes it every time because my daughter doesn't feel shamed by me and I don't lecture her when she gets out. The incident is dropped. I hug her and tell her I love her and then we move on. Too many parents do time out then lecture afterward which only increases resentment, guaranteeing the behavior will resurface. Treat your kids like people with feelings and the right to make choices and the brains to make the right ones.

Not spanking doesn't indicate a lack of discipline as there are many other ways of disciplining that don't involve violence. Spanking makes for very angry children. Children without discipline are often the same way.

And anyway, how ridiculous is it that we teach our children that it's not okay to hit other people, then sometimes drive home the point by spanking (hitting) them?!? Am I the only one who sees this double-standard?

Bottom line is: be consistent, firm and loving. Give your children the power of choice starting at a young age and stop trying to control every aspect of your child's life. You can have a respectful, loving child who doesn't fear his/her parents!

Answer 3

My son is 21 years old he has had maybe 5 spankings in his life. I feel that spankings are appropriate only if all else fails.
You should first ask the child to stop what ever it is that he is doing. second time a time out make it a good one not just a minute third time a warning. fourth time well a spanking. normally after the first spanking the kid is gonna stop by the time you hit the warning. I tell you what I often wondered who it was harder on me or him. Spanking your child does not leave you with a good feeling. In fact I believe I cried after every one of them but there comes a point where you have to put a end to bad behavior before you hit a boiling point. Your child has to understand that there are worse punishments coming if they continue to misbehave when asked to stop.

Answer 4

I believe it can be good or it can be bad. Like everything it has it's ups and downs. I think if done in moderation it can be a good way to teach children not to do certain things, but all children are different. My mother never spanked me because it just made me laugh and become more rebellious. On the other hand I've had friends who were spanked as children and they grow up fine and still have a close bond with their parents.

As for doing it/not doing it having a drastic effect on the life of you child I don't believe there is a such thing. Spanking does not teach your children violence, as long as it's don in the right way. Also not spanking them is not going to destroy their chance at a normal life. The best bet is to try different things and find out what works best with your child. Sometimes I think people forget that children are just as much individuals as adults are.

Personally I can't really say what the best way to discipline a child is because each child is going to have their own personality. Try talking to other mothers who have raised multiple children and ask them what techniques worked for them.

One last note, do not use spoiling your child as a way to make them behave. I've rarely seen any good come from this, and it seems to teach children that they can get their way by misbehaving.

Answer 5

Spanking should be a last resort. Tell the child what you are feeling at that very moment they disbehave. Like This makes me angry because I just cleaned the living room and I am very tired and I need your help to pick up your toys. Can you help Mommie not be tired anymore? That usually excites a child to include them and make them feel like they are helping in some way. My four year old takes her own plate first to the trash to scrape it then to the sink, without me asking. If I start picking up the living room she immediately gets up and helps (in her own way) But it teaches good responisibility and helpfulness. Spanking should only be done as reminder of something they already know is extremely wrong. Like I spanked my four year old the other day because she gave my 6 month old a pensil to chew on. And she has been told too many times to not give anything to the baby without my permission. Afterwards I explained to her why I was upset and she told me that she knows that she shouldn't have done that, but that she forgot. I understand that children forget which is why spankings do not happen often. Usually a good firm tone of voice will make a child submit to positive behavior. Also positive incuragement has worked out soooo well! If you make a child feel important, they will try their hardest to please you and feel 'more' important. Children love to be center of attention so if you include them in daily chores and conversation, they will reward you with trying to be more responsible and pleasant. This four year old is a neice I am caring for full-time. When she goes to her mother's she does not listen throws fits throws toys at her mother and is a completely different child. Her mother ignores her unless it is an obligation like to feed her or give her a drink. There is no playtime with Mommie or Story time or even conversation. Her mother basically does not give her any attention unless she throws a fit. Then it is usually negative attention. Children will get attention one way or the other whether it be positive or negative. But you can inforce the positive without spankings. I use them (softly) as a simple reminder. Infact she does not even cry. I think it hurts her feelings a bit. But, it does not indeed, hurt her physically.

Answer 6

Well it depends if the kid is rebellious or not I guess. I mean if the kid is very young, just tell him/her what he/she did wrong and hopefully they won't do it again. Things could usually done solved with words but if words don't work I guess a few small spanks is just to decipline them. Spanking isn't beating... spanking isn't as harsh, unless you just let yourself go all out on the kid, then that would be considered beating... and if people don't dicipline their kids... the kids may not know what they've done wrong or just be spoiled and think no matter what they do, they'll just get a talk about it from their parents... and they probably wont care much about what you say if they're kind of rebellious.

Answer 7

OK here is the thing, I felt the same way as you before my little one was born and even until she was about 1 1/2 years old! BUT she is old enough now that spankings work and even help, she knows that if she hits me she is going to get a "hand spanking" the same with kicking me, she will get a "foot spanking" I also use time-outs and they work on other offenses. BUT I stand by my decision to spank my daughter because I have patients and love in my heart not hatred or anger!!!! I do it because I love her and I want her to be a good person when she is an adult! Hope this helps!

Answer 8

First I had that idea to till my kids start being able to talk and walk then my opinion changed girl my kids are crazy and the are mixed black children, they for the most time are pretty decent but I use spank as a last resort for times when they are doing thing s that are dangerous and life threatening or might harm themselves or dome one else and I don't spank when i am angry. I do Have older kids that know I will give them a bit down, if the get to out of control like cussing and ditching school and talking to grown *** men. I have 4 girls and a lil boy.And I pregnant now. My kids are 9,7,5,3 and 7mo. I don't really spank my younger ones I give them the look or thump there hand.

Answer 9

I think that sometimes it is acceptable to spank a child for deliberate disobedience. I have spanked my children - not often - but they know I will. I usually use other punishments. Spanking is too easy - and it builds barriers. It is much better to teach your children how to behave and if necessary, use the time-out system or some such. My own mother used to ignore me - I've forgiven her for the spanking, but ignoring me left me feeling abandoned. I think that that is far crueller than a smack on the bum.

Answer 10

I don't have kids but grounding or not allowing them to play with their favorite toy would be a first choice. spanking may come in when they are older and have done something really bad.
i was mostly spanked by my mother when i was a bad little boy, or if i swore she would wash my mouth out with fairy liquid. as i gt older she progressed onto the good old wooden spoon ( definitely a no when i have kids) in the long run it didn't do any harm, and there are some kids who could do with a good slap sometimes. (like me)

bring back the cane.

Answer 11

I don't spank my lil bag of sassyness, tho she needs it alot!!! (well thats what my mom says!) What i do when she does something wrong, whch seems like all day is she sits in time out, she ussually screams to the top of her lungs (she's 18 months) and I just start counting aloud 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and by the time i get to 7 she's counting along, i count to 15 maybe 20 and she can get up, the next time i count to 25 and so on, this way she can learn to count while being disciplined, thats just my way. Hey everyone is different, I was spanked coming up, and I didn't turn out any differ than my sis who wasn't spanked! The spankings will only make them scared to death as they get older to come to u when theyve made a mistake! So just check out other alternatives! there are so many!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!