what r u supposed to say to a controlling parent?

Question

i hate how my step dad controlls me when my siblings can do whatever they want and yet they think i havent been exposed to the world and they try to keep me from it but i have already been there. i need a good thing to say to my parents so they will listen and understand how i feel(trapped)

Answer 1

I think that simply telling them what wrote would help. Sometimes simply communicating is the answer. I like that you tried to understand their perspective, "they think i havent been exposed to the world and they try to keep me from it," It shows that you are considering their motives. Lead with that, let them know that you understand the reasoning behind their rules, but that you don't feel the need for certain restrictions; make them feel like they can trust your judgement, and they may give you more freedom.

Answer 2

My daughter feels the same way, but she also doesn't realize that her exposure to the real world under her conditions didn't go well for her, which is why we, the parents, feel the need to be controlling. Being trapped is being protected, and believe it or not, it means that your parents love you. They probably do understand how you feel, but they can't fix that. It is their job to protect you until you turn 18. You should talk to them about how you feel. Be prepared to compromise, but willing to listen to their side. If you want more freedom, you have to be willing to earn their trust, and that takes a lot of work, and showing them that you can be responsible. Call when you are going to be late, make sure that they know where you are at all times, etc. It is good that they love you enough to want to protect you. A lot of kids these days don't have that.

Answer 3

Simple, you look them stright in the eye and say, "Oh Wow, i just realized you dont trust me do you?" then somehow get in, well if I am never given a chance then how am I suppost to grow up and learn for myself? Then get in somehow, You know the more you try to control me the more I want to rebel, do you want that?

That should open up some pretty good discussion.

End statements with a question. The one asking the questions controls the conversation.

Its selling 101, but it works on everything else too.

Answer 4

Remember that there is always two sides. The best thing
to say is what NOT to say....that is - DON'T tell them what they are doing wrong. Please recognize that they are the
adults that feel responsible for you....and you owe them
respect. At the same time, they also should respect
your feelings also, so ask to speak with them.

Start out by explaining to them your feelings. Ask them if there is a reason you are not allowed as much freedom as your siblings. Encourage them to share with you their
thoughts. Hopefully, a meaningful conversation will
result.

If you ask to speak with them about this respectfully and
lovingly, but get nowhere...at this time, I would speak with
another adult, pastor, teacher, whom I trusted about the
problem and ask for guidance.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I remember when my parents were too controlling and over protective. What they didn't realize was that they were actually hurting me and not allowing me to grow up. I don't know if this is going to work for you but it did for me.

I blew up in their face, I told them the whole truth. How I feel trapped and weak. And that if I for any reason need to face the world alone i would be scared. I told how I need my space, how I need to breathe and how they need to realize that I am all grown up and I am to any responsibility of taking care of myself.

However before i did blow up with the truth I was in depression, so maybe the solution for you would be talking calmly without the presence of your siblings, if that doesnt work, try blowing up.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

tell them to f*u*c*k off. thats what i did. but then again they didnt leave me alone and i ran away, ditched school, lies, stoled,got involved in gangs, carried guns and knives, did drugs and snuck out all because i wanted to rebell and prove something to not only my parents but myself. i wanted freedom. yes, most teenagers want that freedom in their lives but trust me, what ur parents/step are doing and saying is for your best interest. i didnt realize it until now. until getting rapes, getting 3 felony charges and 2 mistimeanors. running from the cops. coming home poched or high. and thats not what you want to happen to u is it? i lost my virginity to someone i didnt even know for 24 hours! and it hurts just to think about it now? why? all because i wanted frredom and to be part of this horrible world! dont grow up to quickly. im 17 years old right now, ive been clean from ne drugs for 1 1/2 years, i get home at curfew, im hanging out with friends who dont influence me to ditch or do drugs and for once in my life, im happy. baby, ive been there, done that! and its not all great like you think. when u turn 18 you can do whatever the hell you want and you ARE going to thank your parents for looking out for you. it just means that they care! maybe you should slowly gain their trust and tell ask them to go places and be back at the time they want you back. slowly but surley they will start letting you out more and trust you more. thats a part of maturity and a resonsible person. dont demand things all at once, politely ask and you will get what you want. dont make the same mistakes i did. remember, you cant turn back time.

Answer 7

live your own life
do what you think is right
in consideration of what your parents think and what their ideas are
parents proly just want the best for you
you think that you have been exposed to the world
just wait until nobody is there to support you
maybe that is what they are trying to protect you from
just tell them that you want a lil bit of freedom
you want to stand on your own two feet
you want them to trust you
and if they dont
how can you trust them?

Answer 8

First of all, how old are you? That has a lot to do with it sometimes. I would try to sit down and explain to my parents how I feel without any yelling or screaming. If that doesn't work I would talk to a school counselor and see if he/she might be able to assist you in talking with your parents.

Answer 9

I think that you should just say what you said: that you feel trapped. But If you tell it to hier faces it might create a conflict so it would probably be better to write it in a letter

Answer 10

i would say thank your lucky stars that you had or have controlling parents.because of that i am what i am today.had they not controlled me ,i would have probably gone haywire.it is their experience that makes them control.it is nothing but advise.maybe the way they say it may irritate us,but you cannot ignore the fact that whatt they say is atleast 99 % right.so go ahead and say,thank you mom and dad.i value what you say