Should I forgive my husband.. even though I am still angry with him? Can I forgive him if I still feel angry toward him? Is it possible to forgive if there is anger in your heart? Will forgiving him help me heal? ( don't laugh or sigh... this is a serious question!)
2007-03-23 18:45:09 · 26 answers · asked by Amy 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling. Just like you are angry with your husband but you still love him. Your choice to love him has nothing to do with the anger. Forgiveness also has nothing to do with the anger. Anger is more of an emotion but still, we can choose to keep it or to let it go. Jesus said that we can be angry but don't sin. Unforgiveness would be the sin if that anger is not dealt with. And unforgiveness can also lead to bitterness, resentfulness and hate. Forgiveness does not mean that the other person is given the right to hurt you again either. If you were to forgive a child molester for molesting your child, you wouldn't leave your child in a room alone with him even if he was forgiven. Forgiveness doesn't change the other person. It helps the person who is doing the forgiving by setting your heart and mind free from the bondage that the hurt or pain can cause which will rob you of your joy and happiness.
2007-03-23 19:07:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not only possible, but it's necessary. If you want to be forgiven for your transgressions, you MUST forgive others just as God forgave you of your sins. Is it easy? NO. BUT, in time, He can take that anger and bitterness away. I have had to fogive family members and be forgiven by them. The relationships with them are trashed, maybe beyond repair, but for my part there are no grudges, I just want to keep it that way. There may be long-standing consequences from someone "sinning against" us, or vice-versa. But all we can do is forgive and trust God to bring about the resolution of hard feelings that remain. It's a very long process.
2007-03-23 20:06:35 · answer #2 · answered by Steve 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and it is possible. I have been where you have been. I was mad at my ex for the terrible things that she has done to me. It was hard, but it all starts off as words. I did not mean it when I said it, but after I said them, then the feelings came afterwards. We can change our feelings by changing the words that we say. We once went to marriage counciling at Church once, before we got divorced. The Pastor told us to pretend to love each other, even when we did not. He said, just go through the motions. We were pleasantly surprized that within one week, our love for each other began to bloom again. Unfortunately, she found someone else a couple of years later when she worked at a bar. Anyways, I have seen God work miracles in people's lives when we start using our words in a positive way, especially when we encourage our Children.
Remember, our words are so important. A soft answer turns away wrath. Also forgiveness sets us free to live our life to the fullest, otherwise we are a prisoner to bitterness.
2007-03-23 19:15:34 · answer #3 · answered by Apostle Jeff 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. You cannot be angry and forgive. They are mutually exclusive. Ask Jesus to take the anger out of your heart and replace it with forgiveness. We don't want to harbor any kind of resentment. It is like a canker. I pray that God help you forgive, and I mean that in all kindness and respect of your feelings.
2007-03-23 19:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by Esther 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Amy: Ask yourself this question: Is it really worth carrying around the "load" from your husband's wrong-doing? Why should you allow your husband's violation of your trust take up space in your mind ? Forgiving of your husband will do YOU good ... he may continue doing the wrong whether you forgive him or not. Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to hang around and be continually abused, either. Your healing begins the second you decide to NOT allow his misdeed to be played over and over again in your mind [thoughts].
2007-03-23 18:58:10 · answer #5 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fully forgiving someone can't be accomplished while you're still angry with him. However; as you surmise, beginning the forgiveness process can help you heal.
Our faith in Jesus Christ's atonement allows us to give all judgment to Him, eliminating our anger. Our faith can increase in Him by learning about Him and following His example.
It's easier for me to forgive when I remember to separate my love for the person from their bad behavior. I love the person, but hate the behavior.
It's also easier for me to forgive when I remember that I make mistakes needing forgiveness as well, and God will only forgive us to the extent we forgive others.
2007-03-23 19:27:01 · answer #6 · answered by Bryan Kingsford 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
True forgiveness means to forget the injuries. Has he come to you in true repentance? If he has and you decide to live with him, then you have not forgiven him if you are still angry.
On the other hand if he has committed adultery, then you are free to divorce and remarry some one else.
If you commit a serious sin and ask God to forgive you then he truly forgets your sin. If though you continue to sin over and over then no forgiveness takes place.You might try reading Eph 5:21-33
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2007-03-23 19:02:36 · answer #7 · answered by gem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, of course it's possible. Forgive him as much or as little as you can, day by day, and before long you'll feel the anger ebbing away. Anger is really just unresolved fear, so make sure you really are forgiving him, not just suppressing your hurt.
2007-03-23 18:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont believe you can forgive and still be angry. Forgiving is giving up the anger and malice, and accepting what has been done. Not that you have to love what happened, but you need to truly forgive him by not harboring anger.
2007-03-23 18:50:24 · answer #9 · answered by Bl3ss3dw1thL1f3 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Forgiveness helps, anger just eats you up. You do have to remember that forgiveness is a process, not a one-shot deal.
2007-03-23 18:49:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋