My sister in law is sooo rude. She constantly puts me down and puts my family down. I dont get it. I have always been nice to her. I dont deserve this treatment no one does. And of all things I would think my brother would have told her to stop with all the talk and to stop talking about his family. Does he not love us! Geeze it's getting sooo old and I just cant handle her any more! She talks about me and my mom at her work, how do I know my friend works with her. She constantly is trying to compete with me and my family. And she uses my mom for everything. She leaves my neice at my moms for 2 or 3 days when she tells my mom to watch her for the day, my mom as a loving grandmother feels bad to say no. I'm tried of her walking alll over us and I just feel I need to tell her, but the one thing that's stopping me is my brother. I respect him and his relationship I wouldnt want to cause drama between the family. What do I do?
2007-03-23 18:39:38 · 7 answers · asked by Lina Q 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Confront her, not rudely though. Just ask her what's wrong. Talk to her about why she keeps saying mean things about you and your family and if you guys ever did something wrong to her. She could just be jealous because your brother loves you more. And more then likely he has told her to stop, but hey who listens to their husband, I know I don't. :P But whatever you do don't make mountians out of ant hills, and don't tell her the only reason she acts that way is because she's jealous. A women has a lot of power over a man when they're married and if she has him wrapped around her finger she can make him lose all contact with you.
2007-03-23 18:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your brother and let him know that she is tearing you all down to make her self feel better. If he is unwilling to talk to his wife about this situation and get her to curb her behavior, tell him, as a family, that you don't want to do it but if she continues that she will not be welcome in the families homes but he will be welcome if he can deal with the turmoil and stress that they have caused between you all.
As for leaving the kids for 2 or 3 days when it is suppose to be for THE day, call the cops for child abandonment and after a few calls to the cops file a petition with the courts to get custody of the kids for their protection.
What Northwest Womps said seems to be the best way to handle it but if you can't take it any more of her degrading mean spirited banter see if the above works, but be fore warned that your brother my not want to speak to you or the family for a while or ever, but if her life was that terrible before she met a close family(I'm assuming that you are) she may never be willing to accept y'all for what you are a FAMILY. Most of all love and support your brother no matter what the b says, be sure he knows he has a support system out side of his marriage. A family that still has his back no matter what happens.
2007-03-24 02:45:09 · answer #2 · answered by ScootersVoice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ahhhhh welcome to the wonderful world of in-laws!! My sister in-law loves to come to my house and tell me how tacky it is, and how filthy it is (mind you I clean every day--she's the only one--other people tell me my house is spotless), what a bad wife and mother I am. I could get evil and do the same thing to her (and trust me honey I want too!!!!!) I won't do it because if I do my Hubby won't be allowed to talk to his brother (Her husband, she's wife #3), I love my hubby, he loves his bro---so I'll suck it up, I'll be polite and pleasant, I'll take the "high road". Really at the end of the day all that matters is your own home and your own life, and if you can put your head on the pillow feeling good.
2007-03-24 02:32:50 · answer #3 · answered by fallingstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man, do I identify with your problem. The problem my entire family has experienced with my sister-in-law has
been going on for years. We have gone out of our way to
be nice as possible to her, primarily out of respect for my
brother, and out of respect for the problems she must have
had with her own family.
She seems to resent my brother's love for his own family, probably because she did not have the closest family in the world. But she has really hurt my mother to the core.....and my mother would not want to harm a fly.
Anytime, a family member takes open offense to her actions,
it always ends up causing my mother and my brother more
problems. We have simply resigned ourselves to biting our
tongues and trying to accept her the way she is...warts and all.
My mother has little time left to live, and my brother's health is
also failing.
It is obvious that there is no way that we can change her feelings toward us. There's no use trying. To do so only
aggravates the situation.
What do you do? Try to be as supportive as possible to your brother, your mother and the other family members that she mistreats...but avoid talking about her in front of them. It doesn't solve anything but simply reminds your family members of the problem. I'm sure you have tried to include her in the family and she has obviously opted not to join.
Just leave the gate open for her, even though you know she's
not going to come in. Don't allow her to bring you down to
her level.
There will come a time when neither your brother nor your
mother will be affected by her. And when that time comes,
she will be out in the cold......unless she for some reason
changes her ways and wants to become a part of your family.
But, again, for your own sake, don't let her bring you down
to her level.
I do hope things work out for the best...and they will
in time. At least, that is the hope that I have.
2007-03-24 02:07:20 · answer #4 · answered by Northwest Womps 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when people are talking about you constantly,you might not
realize it, but you are an important person, and for her to put
you down, she has a very low self steem and she want you
to feel the same way she feels about her. your mom can't
say no to her because of your brother and your niece, that is the reason she can't say no, just ignor her that is how you can
stop her . Good luck
2007-03-24 01:54:12 · answer #5 · answered by Dalena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people talked about the greatest man who walked the earth, jesus. the reason your sisnlaw talks about you guys is shes lacking something in her. her insucurity makes her talk about you to make her feel better about herself. dont allow her to determine who you are. the first thing i think when i see someone talking about someone else is, what are you lacking that you have to get at someone elses expense. tell her to get a life and you go on living yours. dont give her your joy :)
2007-03-24 02:05:59 · answer #6 · answered by goodnripe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your brother.
2007-03-24 02:09:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋