I had a horrible break up last summer, my ex went from Mr. Wonderful into Mr. Horrible. We were together for almost 2 yrs. He used to tell me what a great girl I was, and someone he wanted to be with and married, but all of a sudden he changed, and left me for someone else. I have had a difficult time coping, and its been a struggle to allow myself to meet someone new, because everytime I talk to someone, I hear the same things, for ex. "your so sweet, you seem like such a "good" girl" etc, you have everything a guy would want"...these are teh same things my ex used to say to me. I don't trust anyone anymore and I can't allow myself to get past that point. I can't even go on dates, because I just feel like they will do the same thing my ex did to me. And I cannot go through that again..I just can't. O cry alot, because my ex has moved on and left me to pick up pieces of my life, like I never existed. I helped him through so much, and he couldn't give me an honest answer about
2007-03-23 18:37:25 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why he did this to me. I am afraid to let myself get to know someone...just for him to leave me. He didn't use me for sex, because we discussed the matter and he respected my desicions. But he made me feel it was the real deal and then no more. Just like that.
2007-03-23 18:39:29 · update #1
I think the biggest thing is that you make them take the time to earn your love and respect. You can tell someone anything, but showing it is very different. Just go as slowly as your heart needs to. And for me, remember the good about your ex and the fun you had, just realize you will never have that with anyone again until you let them in to your heart. Sometimes love hurts, but when its right it makes the pain go away!!!
2007-03-23 18:43:13 · answer #1 · answered by pfarro1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you got hurt so bad. I've recently ended a bad relationship too with someone who I thought was the greatest person I knew turned out to be manipulative and over bearing. I went through exactly the same thing you did with the trust issue.
If you keep dating guys who repeat the same old drivel, then you should definitely be wary. Don't settle for a man who tells you meaningless, empty sweet nothings. Trust isn't something that is automatic. It must be earned in a relationship, whether it be romantic or a friendship. You're being smart about being cautious, but don't let it get out of hand. If you start to feel like you're surrounded by strangers, you should think about the people in your life who you can trust, such as a relative or a best friend. It also sounds like you could use a nice dose of personal time to just kick back and relax.
What this guy did sounds pretty harsh, and there are going to be a lot of people out there just like him. Take your pain and turn it into a lesson: watch out for people like that! Look for the qualities you admire in people when it comes to looking for a new boyfriend. If you're not ready to venture out yet, you're not ready. Only you know when that'll come.
Your heart will heal over time. Please, PLEASE don't let him keep hurting you like that. Don't let him have that kind of power over you.
2007-03-24 01:47:58 · answer #2 · answered by Nio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did I read that right you two were together for almost two years and no sex ? If that is the case he just found someone who he had sex with and liked it so much he stayed with her.He was a bad one and there are so many of them out there.It's hard to trust when you have been hurt the way you have but we have all been through it that 's how we learn.You will get over this just as soon as you meet the right person.One thing don't think because you are holding back having sex that a guy will wait for it .Guys want sex right away that doesn't mean if you give in he will disappear on you.
2007-03-24 01:59:19 · answer #3 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like he was a paumpas jerk! u shud move on and be brave. in the wild world of love u will have ur heart broken, u will break some hearts, and u will one day find ur true love. take a chance and if u happened to get played, then u will just know he was not even worth having in the first place. good luck!!!!
2007-03-24 01:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by blondie62193 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one goes from "Mr. Wonderful" to "Mr. Horrible". You have blinders on and see what you want to see. If you want to avoid heartbreak, then learn to step back and evaluate if the words match the actions. If you refuse to read the signals, you have no one to blame but yourself.
2007-03-24 01:42:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just going to have faith. Also, guys run over you because you let them. Nobody can play mind games with you unless you allow it. Maybe you need to become a ****** and get their attention. Good luck!
2007-03-24 01:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well hes a S.O.B. you will find someone, just build your confidence and forget him, and know there will be someone else, i felt that way for a VERY long time..but! my girlfriend Lindsey and I found each other and fell in love, and we are still in love, and we will be getting married soon, you will find someone, i promise you that, i can see it in your future =] i hope this helped :)
2007-03-24 01:43:31 · answer #7 · answered by Adam 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you just have to try to believe what guys tell you
2007-03-24 01:41:22 · answer #8 · answered by PrincessC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well... sometimes you just have to let it go... to let go is to forgive and if you dont forgive you cant let go... try to learn from your experience...
2007-03-24 01:49:54 · answer #9 · answered by Ton2 D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋