i need some parent to parent advise?

Question

my son has been getting bulled at school for sometime now and he is only 7yrs old i have spoken to the principle and teacher and just recently the school counsler. my son who decided that nobody cared about him left home at 7:30 in the morning while everyone else was asleep. luckly he was found about a half an hour later by a family member. he spoke with 5 diffrent family memebers and told them basically the same story about being picked on and everything. it's was very heart breaking for me because here i had thought i had done something wrong and that one of my babies was trying to leave our family. before i knew why he left you can just imagine the fear and emotions i was feeling when i his brother told me he couldn't find him and then we i went to see what he meant and found out he was gone my world just literally came apart at the seams and i was trying to hold it together as to not make his brothers and sister not to panick. i need to know how i handle this with him?

also i need to know how do i make him understand what he did was very wrong. he told me also that when he tries and does defend his self thats when he gets in trouble by the teachers. they tell him to just walk away but how do you walk away from those who follow you. he doesn't understand why these boys who were his friend are doing those things to him.

My son is a very loveable kid. he is well mannered and caring for other so i know it truely isn't him and he told everyone that i didn't do anything wrong and that it wasn't my fault he did tell one tesacher that he was sorry he mad me sad anad that he did that but he just wished people would stop pickin on him

Answer 1

Ask your son whose picking on him. Then you need to be the first in the carpool lane when school gets out. Once your son gets into the car ask him if the bully is around.If he is get out of your car go up to the kid and ask him where is mother or father is then escort him to his car and tell his parents what he has been doing and you want it to stop. If they get defensive just remind them that it's rude arrogant snot nose kids like their child that cause kids to shoot up schools. After that file a complaint with the Director of Schools because the principal and teachers should have put an end to this after the first time it happened. Especially since most schools, elementary through high school ,have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to bullying. Your son is probably going to be embarrassed about all of this at first but trust me this is only going to reassure him that you care. He knows leaving like that was wrong, but you should also remembering that bullying is abuse and if he's being constantly told he's stupid or gay or whatever it is kids call each other;his self esteem is most likely very low, so try including him in more activities around the house like baking it's been shown that cooking helps raise self esteem among kids. Or try gardening, if you have a dog let him walk the dog or measure out the dog food. Just little everyday things that will make him feel more like a big kid and help slowly but surely raise his self esteem. In closing, bully's are everywhere, and as he gets older why he won't be able to go get mommy every time someone picks on him, however right now he's just seven and he really can't stand up for him self, so it's your job to do so by any means necessary, even if that means cracking a few eggs.

Answer 2

I'm so sry u are going through this & your son ,I grew up with my father being a principal& mother a teacher,If the principal nor the teacher will do anything go to the board of education.And let them know what is going on in the school.Bulling Has to stop to many inocent children are getting hurt. It's not the kids faults all the times its how they are being raised i mean if u are abused at home thats all these children know.If there parents are being abused thats all the child knows they know no different.I feel for u and your son,it can't be easy for any of u.I'd be walking my child to school everyday& picking him/her up everyday,And yes i'd go to the parents house and speak to them,Those children shouldn't be doing that and those teachers shouldn't be allowing it or ignoring it.I'd also go to the police station and make damn sure i had a report down of the childrens names.Have a police officer go to there house and speak to the parents .No wonder there are gun's and killing in schools these kids have to STOP or it will get worse.Or if worse comes to worse remove your child from the school put him in another school its all about safety when it comes to inocent children.

Answer 3

Oh my god sweety your right something has to be done right away before you lose your son..Why dont you tell the principal to arrange a meeting with these kids that are bullying him parents they have to be aware of whats going on and you can probably also try taking your son to some counseling or a close family member (maybe his grandmother someone he can spend the night over there house and talk 2 I know you are devasted he may not be telling you everything good luck...

Answer 4

The best thing you can do is validate your sons worry. He's scared and he is using the only thing that he has control over. Bullies (in kid's opinion) are in the ultimate control. You son feels a lack of control and is running away. Don't take it personally or he'll fill distance. I strongly suggest you talk to the School Social Worker!!!! There should be at least one in the district. Remeber, teachers are paid to teach, not work with bullies and kids who are truly struggling.

Answer 5

Oh my god - I wont even try to imagine how you must feel...but I do think you've done the right thing so far.

All that's left I think is to maybe try family counselling and most importantly, keep the lines of communication open between you and your son - this cannot be swept under the rug....and to move him to a different school. This kind of bullying so early in life can be the foundation for a troubled adolescence and no one wants their child to grow up unhappy.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

RIGHT ON DAVEYBOY!!! I AM A MOM WITH AN AUTISTIC CHILD WHO IS PICKED ON ALOT AND I HAVE A SON WHO IS VERY SWEET BUT A LITTLE DIFFERENT WHO ALSO GETS PICKED ON AND WHEN HE DEFENDS HIMSELF HE GETS IN TROUBLE.MY SON HAS WANTED TO RUN AWAY TOO BUT I LET HIM SEE ME GET UPSET AND HEAR ME CALL THE PRINCIPLE AND TEACHERS AND I SEND THOSE ASSERTIVE LETTERS WITH HIM TO SCHOOL SO HE KNOWS I AM TRYING TO HELP HIM WIN THE BATTLE. I WISH I COULD TELL MY SON TO DO WHAT DAVEYBOY SAID BECAUSE I THINK IT WILL HELP IN MY SITUATION AND YOURS. I AM TO CHICKEN TO ENCOURAGE HIM TO HIT ANOTHER PERSON BUT I AM GETTING CLOSE TO MAKING THIS SUGGESTION!HE CAME HOME WITH BRUISES ON HIS NECK LAST YEAR FROM A GIRL CHOCKING HIM! NOTHING HAPPENED TO THIS GIRL WHO WAS MUCH OLDER THAN HIM!KIDS ARE SOMETIMES JUST MEAN I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE ENOUGH PARENTAL TRAINING AT HOME. OR THEY HAVE BAD PARENTAL EXAMPLES. THIS IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE.




YOU CAN ALSO CALL THE POLICE AND START REPORTS ON THESE KIDS. YOU WONT BE ABLE TO PRESS CHARGES BUT GETTING THOSE TRACK RECORDS HELPS. BECAUSE SOMEDAY THEY WILL BE OLD ENOUGH TO PRESS CHARGES AND YOU HAVE SHOWN THEY HAVE A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR. I HAVE WENT UP TO PARENTS AUNTS UNCLES AND EVEN THE CHILD AND TOLD THEM IF IT DOESNT STOP I WILL CALL THE POLICE. IT WORKS SOMETIMES.

Answer 7

Alright, this is coming from someone who was picked on thoughout his whole childhood, and was always the new guy. The only way to get these children to 100% stop picking on him is for him to get initiate a fight with one of them. This may sound weird or wrong to some people but those people who were picked on will know what I am talking about. It never ends until he confronts the problem himself and prety much gets into a fight. Teachers talking to these kids doesn't solve the problem because they use it against your son saying he is a wimp that has to tell on them and he is chicken and blah blah blah. Also, he doesn't have to win the ifght to make the bullying stop he just has to show confidence and a mean streak. They will stop after that if they know that if they try to mess with your kid again he is going to try to beat them up again. trust me. this is from personal experience. It won't end until he stands up for himself. Society is messed up because he will more than likely get into trouble for nto putting up with the bullying anymore and putting a stop to it when no one else will. But it will be worth it in the long run for him to get suspended for a few days then have to put up with these kids whose parents don't teach them respect.

P.S. My parents also tried couseling. and talking to the parents of the kid and it didn't solve anything. Finally my father told me to beat the kid up and i did get suspended along with the guy but when i came back to school this guy wanted to be my best friend and I had more self confidance and things were alot easier. Have your husband talk to your son. He may be able to help him relate.
I also ran away from home. It had nothing to do with familly probelms just school. get him into sports and help bring his personallty out. my guess is he is probally a really shy kid and doesn't know how to really speak out for himself. Don't make him go into sports let him find something he would enjoy on his own. Not something he feels pressured into. Good Luck and let me know how it turns out!
Also, having the principal confront the children really makes it worse because they are going to get mad like i said earlier and make it worse for your son-Guranteed

PSS just n case you are confused, I am not telling him to defend himself, i am telling you to tell him walk up to them and punch them in the nose as hard as he can and to not stop. I know this may go against everything a parent teaches a child but the being picked on will stop.

Answer 8

the only things I can think of are, have a meeting with the bully's parent/parents and get your son into sports. I am not in your shoes quite yet and I fear the day I am. Good luck!!

Answer 9

I would go to the parents of the bully and talk to them and if they won't take action of there kid then go to the police department...and tell them your situation cause being bullied could cause phychological problems...do something about it before your kid does something horrible...maybe that kid(Bully) is being abused at home...maybe you could be the one to help and contact a Social Worker if that is the case. You could save someones life!

Answer 10

If it has got to this stage, and the school is unable to resolve the situation, consider moving him into another school.
I would sit him down and tell him calmly and kindly, that he must never ever do that again and why. He feels no one is listening to him and well, at last, he's got your attention.
He's just a little boy who needs his family's support.