He was in Iraq for a year now he is back. All communication was good even a week after he came back we saw each other several times but now there is no sign of him. We did have some great times after he came back but all of a sudden he has become distant.
2007-03-23 17:49:56 · 4 answers · asked by Louder than Words 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Two weeks sounds about right. That's the "honeymoon period" after a deployment, it seems.
After that, it's back to real life... something you two haven't experienced together in over a year. It's hard on you, and even harder on him.
Give him some space. Not saying you're doing this but... ask yourself if you've been frustrated with him over little things (that before he left he wouldn't have been bothered by, etc.). I am NOT saying you're to blame for him being distant, just throwing out the idea that while you may be ready for "business as usual", he may not be.
Have a look at the Post-Deployment section of this article, if you haven't already:
http://www.hooah4health.com/deployment/familymatters/emotionalcycle2.htm#ch6
It'll get better. It takes awhile.
Take care.
2007-03-23 19:02:39 · answer #1 · answered by fredonia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please, walk a mile in his shoes for a few minutes here. He just came back from a war in Iraq, saw things, heard things, experienced things that he cannot share with you. And, then there are things he may not want to share with you. He may be trying to forget what he can. He may be going thru post traumatic stress syndrome. Plus, this is a war unlike any other-we used to basically know who our enemy was. Now, it's terrorists, who are training not just men, but women to become martyrs. Their attire is such, you cannot easily tell if they have a bomb strapped to them or not. Plus, this is a HUGE adjustment to be back in the states, and get to relax, and yet deal with memories, and everything he is going thru. He will contact you when he is ready to. He may have had two weeks leave, and be back on duty. There are a lot of adjustments he is having to go thru, and sounds that sound like something in Iraq, could "trigger" a memory. Hopefully he is getting some good, proper counseling on all of this. I hope you hear from him soon. Take care.
2007-03-24 01:01:55 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What was the status of your relationship before he left? Dating? Engaged? He could be dealing with what happened in Iraq. Or he just may not want to see you anymore. When you experience war you change. It could be from the horror of war or simply that he's a changed man. Your priorities change after an experience like that. Some things that seemed important before may not be as important now. It is a life altering experience. Just ask him whats going on. Support him in whatever he is going through. If he is dealing with what happened in Iraq, encourage him to go to counseling.
2007-03-24 00:56:58 · answer #3 · answered by kgee 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Post Traumatic Stress is common to all service personnel returning from an area of combat. Veterans Hospitals have special programs to aid and assist the veteran and their families get through PTS. Start now or it may get worse. Expect moodiness and short tempers. Most all combat veterans have PTS and left untreated it can grow steadily worse with time. Get help now.
2007-03-24 00:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by whitehairblueeyes 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋