I've been out with several girls that I guess are feminists and get offended when I open doors or offer to pay for them. It isn't that I think they dont have money or dont work, I was just trying to be nice. Why are so many girls weird about this stuff and how do I recognize before hand if I should pay for the girl, split the check, or let her pay for both of us?
2007-03-23 17:18:52 · 17 answers · asked by Matt 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
alfy, i find them in the nyc area...perhaps that's my problem.
2007-03-23 17:43:40 · update #1
They do. If you expected them to pay they would consider it being rude. I know I am gonna get thumbs down for this but its just the way women are. They want to be equal, but pampered at the same time.
2007-03-23 17:22:46 · answer #1 · answered by Knuckles™ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think a majority of girls still want to see chivalry. I personally don't have a problem with a guy paying for a date, if it's clearly a date. If I am with a friend and I don't know if it's a date or I don't like him that way, then I'll make sure to pay for myself. And I also kinda feel bad if I have been out with the same person several times, and he's had to spend a lot; I at least ask if I can pay. It has nothing to do with not thinking he could pay or thinking any less of him. I think the best thing to do is to be intentional about your date and ask if it would be ok for you to pay. Sounds cheesy, but it would avoid the confusion.
2007-03-23 17:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by daisy99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think that it's nice when guys pay for me, i don't mind at all. But some things like opening the door are a different subject. One time my friends and i were talking about this and we agreed that it is ok for a guy to open the door for a girl if he's right there, that's just nice to do. However when a guy is not near the door and he practically runs to open it for the girl, this kind of makes her feel like he thinks she's incapaple of doing it herself. Idk...i myself don't get bent out of shape about these things it's mostly whatever happens.
2007-03-23 17:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by *lil' leasha lu* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay well first of all, where do you find these girls??? Speaking for myself and all the girls I know... we all look for a gentleman who offers to pay and opens doors!!! That is the main thing I look for in my bf is if he opens doors for me which is a huge turn on. On the paying side I won't let my bf pay all the time and some girls may just feel bad if you pay all the time.
2007-03-23 17:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by alfy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her! Personally, I'm somewhat of a feminist, but I certainly don't mind a guy trying to be a gentleman. You're just trying to be considerate, not patronizing. Lead the way to the door, that way it makes sense for you to hold it open for her. And when it comes to paying, say something like "I can get if you don't mind" that way you're offering, not assuming. That's the best I can tell you, other than you can't please everyone.
2007-03-23 17:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by alinsky1226 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know what type of girls you are taking out but I would love for a guy to pay for EVERYTHING. That would've been sweet when I was dating. I always got stuck with the guys without jobs. lol.
Maybe ask her before if it is alright if you pay. Tell her you would really like to take her out and cover the entire night. Im sure she will appreciate it.
2007-03-23 17:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Lexi's mommy had twins! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, most girls these days do not consider it
a "date" if the guy doesn't pay for it. That is, they may
like you as a friend, but you won't get anywhere if
you try to go dutch.
Its almost like the feminist revolution never happened.
It may be that they aren't particularly interested in you
in "that way", so they consider you paying for something
as obligating them to something they aren't interested in.
2007-03-23 17:24:07 · answer #7 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are some weird girls , to me I think that you would b an absolute sweetheart to do something like that not the opposite(shake My head) ppl can b really weird now a days.
u can recognize this by how they act like if she acts like Sarah-Jessica Parker u can pay but if she acts like Rosie O'Donnell than u can't pay LOL
Its true though
2007-03-24 08:50:19 · answer #8 · answered by Peachez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's so difficult today to know what to do, but when I go out for the first time with someone, I like to pay my own way, I mean why should you have to pay for everything? Things are so expensive, And I just like to be fair.
2007-03-23 17:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by Suzie- Q 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but sometimes I like to pay becaue I don't want the guy to think I was taking advantage..and the guy I like now is in the military in ASIA not US and he doesn't have so much money so I will pay for myself just so he can save money. I think its personality...
2007-03-23 17:24:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋