Ok so I have been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now. He lives over an hour away and we only see each other on weekends. We are in love everything is going great but I have a little problem.
He works late on sundays (he works the graveyard shift) and lately we have been only seeing each other on Sundays. I have hurt my back and haven't been able to drive to his house in a while. But the past couple months he would rather spend he free day with his friends. Should I keep my mouth shut and let him, or ask if we could have at least one saturday together?
2007-03-23 17:01:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks everyone, I did talk to him and he said he understood. He loved the fact that we can just talk to each other about things that bug each other, and this saturday we are going on a date.
2007-03-27 10:05:57 · update #1
What....shut up & put up, you mean?
Why should you settle for something less than you feel you're worth? I don't think anyone can say whether you are or are not being "clingy"
That's not for anyone else to decide....some guys would find it a bit clostaphobic while others would find it kinda sweet that you cared enough.
The fact is, only you & you alone have the right to decide what you will & will not expect from a relationship.......whether the guy involved wishes to agree is of course another matter,
Whether we are aware of it or not, we all train one another through life....I don't mean in a controling way but in the ways of what we will or will not allow to happen to us....what we will or will not put up with. I don't think we have the right to insist that others tow the line though & this is where the problems can arise......
We should have certain standards set not only in the way we treat others but also in the way we treat ourselves.....now if others don't see things the way we do we have 2 choices, we can either say.....NO! I'm worth more than this or we can ignore our feelings......but trust me honey.......our feelings will always return to bite us on the ars.e
This is supposed to be a relationship, it's not like you see him that much......that would be a different question....obviously compromise & reasonableness need to prevail.....but that applies to both sides......
You're not happy....if you continue to ignore your feelings, you will continue to be unhappy.....you know in your heart of hearts whether his behaviour is acceptable to you.....now all you need to do is get the courage to act on it......
2007-03-23 17:30:31 · answer #1 · answered by Funky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have only been seeing each other on weekends...then its possible that although he will care about you a lot and be commited to you that he may not be up to the stage of feeling he is obliged to care for you all the time when you are injured.
Letting a guy have space and not putting demands on his time are an important part of showing you care for him. It lets him know that you dont want to tie him down and that you are pleased he has male friends to spend "male time" with.
On the other hand I think it would be reasonable for him to maintain contact with you. Calling you a couple of times a week and seeing you at a minimum of 1 day a fortnight and 4 days a month is pretty reasonable to expect. Anything at all less than that for a prolongued period and you should confront him (get help on doing this appropriately) about it.
2007-03-23 17:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by Danny B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Realize that men need their space and women need space. (Sometimes far less than guys do) If it bothers you express it to him but don't nag (men hate this and so do other people when they have to listen). If you two are in love and the feelings are mutual and not one sided then I don't see a problem with you requesting one of his "free" days. Especially since you are injured and have been for months. And a couple of months is more than enough time to be "free" and hang with the guys. But whatever you do, don't hold it in. This will only cause you to explode later on in the relationship (what happens when women hold things in), even if the argument is about something else, and he'll look puzzled and possible become upset. Then you can't blame him, because you should always express your feelings. Find a nice way to do it and you should be A-Okay.
2007-03-23 17:09:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for you to miss him and expect to see him at least once a week (women always have these kinda of emotional feelings) However to man, they don't get attached to emotional things that much. Some men prefer to hang out with their friends more than their gf. Some men prefer more freedom. But i agree a couple in a relationship should at least try to spare some free-time for each other (a day in a week is min if they are living in the same town or distance is not too far). In this case, their feelings towards each other won't be distance too. You should communicate with him your feelings and thoughts.
2007-03-23 17:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I could only see my boyfriend one day a week and he chose to spend that day with his friends instead of me, I'd question our relationship. I wouldn't mind if there was a special event once in a while, but if you don't see him, I don't see what the purpose of the relationship is. Since you've been hurt and can't drive, I would think that a boyfriend who loved you would drive to you to see how you were doing. Personally, I would question is level of commitment to you.
2007-03-23 17:06:02 · answer #5 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Come on girl! I dont see how that would be clingy at all. But what you need to do is think about breaking it off you dont see him that much!! He works a friggin grave yard WTH!! Well you dont spend any time to gether so maybe you should think about talking to hiim about the time thing. not spending time together is bad in a relationship you need to spend time together I mean man you need to only weekend wow!
2007-03-23 17:10:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't take it personal, his friends and you are important to him. don't make him chose cause either way he's going to be distant, but tell him how you feel and ask him if you can have 1 day out the week to spend with each other. communication is important use it. tell him you understand he wants to be with his friends but that you would like to spend time together too.
2007-03-23 18:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by princess07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him, at least let him know how you feel. If you two are really in love he will try to work something out so that you two can get together.
2007-03-23 17:05:38 · answer #8 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that you are sorry you can't drive to see him but it would be nice if every other sunday he would drive to see you, then he would still have the other sundays to do guy stuff. but you are hurt and maybe he'd be there even more if you would just let him know you want him there.
2007-03-23 17:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If one day a week is all your asking your not being clingy. I need atleast one hole day a week with my girlfriend or two is better but sometimes we are busy. If you can't get one day then what is the point of being in a relationship
2007-03-23 17:05:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋