I recently got in touch with someone I love. I sent him pics, told him to be honest and he was. He said he thought I was beautiful, sexy, and cute! But there is a "but". At first he didn't want to tell me, (afraid of hurting my feelings) but I pushed and pushed until I got it out of him. He told me that he prefers and usually dates slim women. You might've guess that I am not slim. But he still wants to pursue a relationship because there is a deep connection. Should I be insulted, should I let him go, or should I be grateful that he is willing to compromise his prefrence on the account of me? How should I handle this? Because I do love him. And I am slimming down as I type this. (I decided on this before I even got in contact with him/ has nothing to do with him!) What should I do? All views Male and Female would greatly be apprecitated. Email-aquarius_heart04@yahoo.com (If you wish).
2007-03-23 16:52:09 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Let it go.
2007-03-23 16:55:02 · answer #1 · answered by Hi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Should you be "grateful?" Hell no. Not unless you consider yourself a charity case. My advice is to let it go. First of all, you called him and sent him pictures. He didn't contact you. If he was interested, he would've called you, kept in touch with you. But more importantly, he has stated to you "that he prefers and usually dates slim women." He's shallow and superficial. You are always going to feel insecure in a relationship with him unless you meet his standard of what is attractive. What's important is how you feel about yourself as you are. Don't go on a diet for some "guy." whose a dime a dozen. Do it for yourself and only if you want to. Also, you say you got in touch with someone you love. He doesn't love you or the two of you would be together, regardless of your weight. I think you need to think more of yourself and stop thinking that you need to be "grateful" for some "guy's" attention. What is there to be grateful for? There are men who will appreciate you just as you are. Good luck.
2007-03-23 17:07:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at least he's honest. And he clearly doesn't want to hurt your feelings. he sounds like an alright kind of guy. Everyone has something they don't want in the opposite sex, his just happens to be a slightly socially-unacceptable one.
I'd don't think you should be grateful, but just appreciate the fact that he's willing to give something a go that he ordinarily wouldn't. And I guess hope you can change his mind. No guy is worth changing yourself for, but it sounds as though this could work anyway, so give it a go and see what happens.
2007-03-23 16:58:30 · answer #3 · answered by RIffRaffMama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless your weight is a health problem it should not be an issue for you, or him. If you are willing to face a relationship that before it has even started is based on your weight, and it is not a health issue, I would define you as an insecure person with other problems more serious than her weight. As for him, what kind of person tells you that you are everything they want except for....... HE IS A CONTROL FREAK.
Run as fast and far as your supposedly IN HIS OPINION fat legs can take you. Go Girl. WHILE YOU CAN. At first its a diet, then it's what??? you don't need to go there. You don't want to even know this man.
2007-03-23 17:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by mld m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He said he "usually" dates slim women. Usually means not always. Obviously, he's interested in you or he wouldn't still be talking to you. I wonder about your phrase, "someone I love" because it seems to me that you two haven't even met yet. How can you be in love? Why don't you meet and see if you really have a connection before you blow this out of proportion?
2007-03-23 16:57:18 · answer #5 · answered by la buena bruja 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind that deep down inside he will always be attracted to skinny girls. Just him saying it shows there's a problem, if there wasn't he wouldn't have said it. What if your weight gain was for medical reasons, would he still love you. Did he tell you how he felt because he knew that you might lose weight to keep him. Girl, let him go. You are not asking him to change so don't change for him. Be happy with who you are, he should.
2007-03-23 17:00:23 · answer #6 · answered by kim45237 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to give him this, at least he is honest and he isn't trying to make a fool of you. If he wants to pursue a relationship, then he must have connected to you personally and intimately and sees past the physical aspects. If that's the case, what a catch! I wish you well!
2007-03-23 16:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by treasureyourself 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look you can't be upset because you forced the response out of him.Don't ask a question unless you know you can handle the response. I think its nice that he cared about you enough that he stepped out of his comfort zone and opened his mind.Let it go .My husband (now) would have back then dated Latin woman but I am far from it.I'm mixed with alot but Latin ain't it.And i tell him all the time he just got lucky with me!Just let it go its not a big deal!
2007-03-23 17:04:34 · answer #8 · answered by TRUTH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should pursue it. He is willing to change his type for you which means that he really does like you. People don't change for other people unless they really like them. There's no harm in seeing how far this is going, just make sure he's serious about you and forget about everything else. Follow your heart and let that guide you.
2007-03-23 16:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by c@ramel_m@mi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You find the lie any time someone uses a "but".
What they say before the "but" is a lie and after the "but" is the truth.
Judge for yourself: Are you confident in your relationship to trust him to not dump you as soon as a size 2 comes along?
2007-03-23 16:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would keep pursueing it. I usually go for taller guys and my boyfriend is an inch shorter than me. We joke around with it and he has even told me that he usually goes for blondes but we caught each others eyes and are in love.
2007-03-23 16:56:11 · answer #11 · answered by Jess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋