I want to write a note to a friend of mine who just lost his wife.
What can I write?
2007-03-23 16:06:15 · 17 answers · asked by georgina 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
my sympathies are with you at this time. May the memories of your time together make her passing easier for you. If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.
2007-03-23 18:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by kathy d 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep it simple and honest. Say it in your own words, no matter how clumsy. It means a lot more to know people aren't afraid of saying the wrong thing, that they aren't walking on eggshells, than the perfect, Hallmark sentiment. Just let him know you are sorry for his loss and pain and that you will be there for him in any way he needs. Let him know that you aren't afraid of being there for him in this; that you aren't going to shy from being around him simply because you don't know what to say or do.
I've not dealt with such a personal loss but have been able to be there for friends who have. I had no clue what to say. I was afraid I'd do or say the wrong thing. I stayed there, though. I wrote things I thought were cheesy but had no clue how else I could express myself. I learned that just being there is way more important than knowing what to say. I stayed with a friend, every day and night, for a week, then every day for a few more weeks, until she didn't need me to.
When we suffer such a loss, it seems, no one can make it stop hurting. People can help healing by just being there.
Just speak your mind and your heart.
2007-03-23 21:03:27 · answer #2 · answered by ophelliaz 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you are sorry to hear about his wife's passing and if there is anything that you could do for him , you are just a call away. you could say something nice about her if you knew her at all. or that her was a lucky man to have had such a wonderful woman like think about his loss and his needs and you will be on the right track
2007-03-23 16:40:05 · answer #3 · answered by roncj88 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you know his wife? If so, some little story of her might be nice. He'll be getting a lot of 'I'm sorry', 'our thoughts and prayers are with you' and "She'll be missed'. While all of them and their variations might be absolutely true, after the first few dozen times they loose their meaning and start becomming a little annoying. (not at the person saying that, just that it's all people say to them)
2007-03-23 19:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by K S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Georgina, Id get right on the phone, or go to his home with flowers and tell him how sorry you are for his loss. Let him know you are there for him if he needs to talk, perhaps take care of his housework while his grief is still fresh, maybe a casserole or cake as a gift. What you write on a card isn't as important as to be there for him at this time..... but something like"I was so terribly saddened to hear of Mary passing away, I will always remember how she used to....(insert some nice thing she used to do) /I will always remember her wonderful cream cakes/infectious laugh/ kindness/etc. I work as a nurse, and I find when people pass on their relatives don't want outpourings of grief and tears from me..they want to know that their loved one will be remembered.... I like to tell them of something nice or funny that their family member did that they might not know about..... and how they will be missed.
2007-03-23 16:18:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lauren J 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I know there isn't much I can say to ease your pain in your time of sorrow but I just wanted you to know that I'll always be there for you and your family.
with love I send you my prayers and sympathies
2007-03-23 16:22:15 · answer #6 · answered by cute as a button 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is basically avoid the subject. Tell what him what you have been doing, and invite him to lunch or something. That way, you can talk in person. If he feels like talking about it, than go ahead and be that support he needs. However, sometimes people like to have a good time to try to forget about it instead. Just be patient with him.
2007-03-23 18:46:18 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Finding a sympathy card would help you get started. Also a simple gift or token would be nice.
2007-03-23 16:20:57 · answer #8 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm very sorry for your and your families loss. So and so was a great person and I (we) will miss her greatly. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. With sincerity and love,
Somthing like that.
2007-03-23 16:11:27 · answer #9 · answered by Chrissy #1 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry for your loss, If you need me let me know, You have my sympathy on the loss of your beloved wife.
2007-03-23 16:10:38 · answer #10 · answered by Virginia C 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋