Pls help me?

Question

I am a 15 yr old female.
MY problem is that I lost something earlier.I knew clearly when I had lost it.And I didnot have the courage to tell my mother that I had lost it.Though I regretted the act.
Now yesterday she found out that I had lost it and she asked me how I had lost it.Yesterday I was due to write a main examination and I knew that I would not write the examination well if my mother scolded me before I went to the exam.So stalling for time I pretended that I didnot know how I had lost it.Yesterday evening again my mother asked me.I dont know if this is right or wrong but whenever my parents scold me my mouth shuts itself and I do nothing but stare at the ground.Yesterday also this was the thing and she scolded me saying that the reason I was doing the shut up thing was because I was arrogant or I feared my parent.She ruled out the other option saying that I didnot fear my parents since I joked with them. And she said that she would not talk to me.Now the thing is I am

a coward when it comes to my parents.
I fear even to talk with them as I am afraid that they would take what I talk in the wrong sense.This is the reason.I am afraid to tell them the reason as they wont believe me as I am courageous in other areas.
So now what should I do.My MOTHER WONT TALK TO ME>SHE SAYS I MUST PERSUADE her or other wise she wont talk with me forever.
So now how should I deal with my mother and my fear.Pls suggest something.YA is the only way I can find a solution to my problem.

Answer 1

You should write your mother a letter and explain the things you have stated here. I think you love and respect your parents and are afraid of disappointing them.

Tell her you do not function well after she scolds you and it affects your school work and especially exams.

Also tell her how bad it makes you feel when she punishes you by withholding her affection from you. That only makes a bad situation worse.

Then you just need to wait for her to get over her anger. She is not being fair to you, but she doesn't really understand that. You sound like a wonderful daughter and she should be very proud of you.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Well, as the saying goes, "you aren't paranoid if they're really out to get you." If I'm reading this right, you have reason to fear expressing yourself, because your Mom really does withhold affection when she doesn't approve of you.

Sorry to say, but the whole "quit speaking to you" ploy is pretty childish, so Mom isn't the most mature person in the world. Doesn't mean you can't still love her - just realize that she's flawed, as are all human beings, and you have to take that into account.

Looks like you have prior experience that tells you that your parents will not be accepting or supportive if you tell them something they don't like, and you want their approval, so you try not to tell them anything they won't like. Problem is, you're growing up, and they won't agree with all of your choices in life. It's just a fact. Also, you will make other mistakes - we all do - and that, too, is a fact.

So you have to find a way to be okay with yourself when other people, even people you care about, disapprove of you. It's okay to say "Mom, I know I made a huge mistake, but I was so afraid of your disapproval that I just couldn't find a way to tell you." She may respond well, or not, but at least then it's out there.

It's time to start prepping yourself to be an adult, standing on your own two feet, whether Mom and Dad approve of you at the moment or not. If you make a mistake, own up to it (which at least will allow you to feel like a responsible adult), do what you can to fix it, apologize, and move on.

Whether Mom moves on or not - because her response is her choice. What you do is yours.