Hello all. 4 months ago I met this wonderful woman. She is very beautifu; and we get on great together. I am in love with her. She is divorced and has a daughter. Her marriage was not happy. Initially when we were going out she told me she did not want to be in a relationship. I didnt push her just kept seeing her. About 2 weeks ago she asked me to be her boyfriend which I thought was significant. We made love 3 times. It was awesome for me and she says she enjoyed it too. Its a week after we last made love. She called to see me for coffee today. She spent 15 minutes with me and said she needed to go towork. She didnt arrange any time for us to meet. She has time to meet friends etc. Im not sure where I stand. After we met she texted me"I love u and i miss u!". If she did wy didnt she arrange time to meet. What do i do? I really love this woman but dont want to loose her by crowding her. How do i know if she means it when she says she loves me. Thnkas for advice/
2007-03-23 15:01:18 · 13 answers · asked by Pa J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have been in a similar situation. She told me after every phone call and after every conversation we should tell each other we love one another. And after a while i had not heard from her and so i called her and i set up a time to meet and we met for about 30mins and then she had to go run some errands and she told me she loved me and so i asked her weather she loved me (as in cared for me as a friends) or in love with me she told me she would call me later and come to find out she had found another guy. So if you feel that the realtion ships is not as it once was ask her try to sit her down and have a talk mabey that will let her know how you feel and where you stand and that may just do it she may not know how you feel.
TALK is was holds a realtionship together and telling the truth.
2007-03-23 15:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by dovera1c 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, four months is not a great deal of time to know whether you are in love with someone or not. You may be in love with the thought of being in love, but very few people in this world are "in love" in such a short period of time.
In order to be in love with someone, you have to like them first, become their friend and then the relationship has to build from there.
If she initially told you that she did not want to be in a relationship, she was most likely being protective of her daughter and did not want to put her through another relationship which might not work out.
I think that you both went from the "boyfriend" stage into the sex stage way too fast. Now she is unsure if this was the correct choice or not. This is what can happen when couples are just learning about each other and jump into a sexual relationship too quickly.
Totallyme 23 has it exactly correct, she sounds like a very mature and intelligent young lady.
You both advanced too quickly into the "marriage" relationship without a marriage, and now she is unsure if she made the correct choice or not. This is not a personal insult against you, you both rushed several steps too far in a young relationship.
I do not know any of your ages, but the way that you talk about her you sound like a love-sick young teenager with a crush, you do not sound like an adult man in a relationship with a grown woman old enough to have been married and have a child.
You need to back off and let her lead the relationship for awhile. Give her some time to initiate some more meetings for coffee, and then you can discuss with her where she wants this relationship to go.
If you crowd her, you will lose her and she will go right back into the she doesn't want a relationship mode. You can only be sure that someone really means it when they say they love you if you have known them long enough to read the emotion behind the statement.
She may be saying that because she was brought up to believe that you have to love someone you have sex with. It could be an automatic reaction to what has happened, not a heartfelt reaction to the actual relationship itself.
I wish you both well, and her daughter also. She is going to be an important factor in any relationship that you have with this woman.
Have a good night.
2007-03-23 16:31:43 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One would hope that when someone says they love you that they really do, but to answer your question about how do you know if she means it when she says that she loves you? By her actions. Actions speaks volumes and it isn't always what someone says but by what they do!! Remember that this is a new relationship and you cannot be too pushy but also you need to be assertive, you are the man and you maybe need to sit down and have a conversation with her about how you feel and what you want and expect from her and the relationship. Hear what her expectations are and then and only then you'd kow if you both are on the same page. I also suggest that instead of waiting for her to ask you out, ask her out to dinner and/ or a movie and see if she will be filled with excuses or if she will agree and you can go from there and have that much needed conversation where you two can openly discuss your feelings without feeling awkward and questioning where each other stands and how each other feels. You can also send her a text saying miss you, look foward to seeing you again. Step light but step right, timing is everything and remember too much too soon isn't always a good thing but noone would ever know what you want unless you ask for it, it's either you get it or you don't!! Good luck
2007-03-23 15:22:51 · answer #3 · answered by spoiltrini 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if she says she love u she does and if u don't trust her when she says that u shouldn't be together cause "if u don't have trust u don't have anything" as 4 she not making time 4 u maybe she just needed some space 4 all u know U might just marry her so trust, love, cherish and be faithful 2 her
2007-03-23 15:11:30 · answer #4 · answered by `Avenging~ghetto~bird` 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The last time she met you for 15 minutes, actually she was anticipating you!!! you must had promoted the relationship from friendship towards being her life partner, or you might had asked her that you want to be her husband ....something like that.
2007-03-23 15:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by Punjabi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry that im not goving you the advice you want. but you should not make love with a boyfriend or girlfiend. you make love with your husband or wife. or else you can end up in this kind of stuation. but i do have some advice for your question. mabye she feels as if she needs her space. what you sais doesnt leed me to think that but it is possible. another possibilty is that she could say i love you just as a otimatic saying to state that cares about you. like i say i love you to my boyrfiend. but im only in 6th grade so of course i cant be in love.
2007-03-23 15:08:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
remember u are the man and as old fashioned it might sound women aspect men to arrange a meeting.if she wrote to you those words you should be happy.talk to her and tell her you are not sure what she wants from you.communication is the key to a healthy relationship
good luck
2007-03-23 15:07:14 · answer #7 · answered by rauth 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does she just want a physical relationship? It's kind of sounding that way, unfortunately. You'll have to have a long discussion with her on where you stand.
2007-03-23 15:07:24 · answer #8 · answered by love 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dud sit down and chat to his lady, sounds like guilt feelings re making love, chat to her
2007-03-23 15:03:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
clam down, it will be OK..........you are doing the right by not crowding her and she hasn't done anything for you not to trust her so chill
2007-03-23 15:12:23 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋