I've noticed that when a guy likes me, he'll often make dismissive comments about me to my face. For instance, when one guy asked my age and he found that I was younger than him, he said, "You're still a baby. 27-year-old women are the best because they're mature." The funny thing about this is that I'm a few years ahead of him in college. As far as I know, he's never dated an older woman and he continues to flirt with me. His friend says that he's interested, and today he made some joke about being my love slave, so why does he say mean things? Other guys have made similar rude comments to me even when I know for a fact that they're interested. Can anyone enlighten me on this? Is it normal for guys to be critical of a girl they're interested in? Are they acting tough so they won't appear vulnerable or too interested?
2007-03-23 14:41:31 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is most likely a defense mechanism called reaction formation. He is subconsciously hiding his true feelings that he is afraid may be socially unacceptable by outwardly expressing feelings that are the exact opposite. If he actually has a crush on you, that could be the reason his outward expressions toward you are the opposite -- mean or rude.
2007-03-23 14:53:42 · answer #1 · answered by griffon1426 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys are funny creatures. They think in a totally different way than women do. Unfortunately, if they're making rude comments or just being plain mean, they don't want a serious relationship. And you don't need a relationship with someone who's rude or mean. Too man women get into those dangerous relationships and end up getting hurt. Real men don't need someone in their life to build them up so they feel better about themselves.
2007-03-23 14:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by 70's teen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm well for starters their behavior is just plain childish but I believe you already knew that. :) But anyway back to my answer. Guys tend to do this whenever talking to a girl they like because they want to cover up any suspicion (sp?) on their part. Guys tend to be mysterious and want to be so up until they either ask you out or let you know how they really feel. Overall? Guys are frustrating and confusing but women are too. If you really want to know confront them about their behavior and if they give you another unwanted snide remark just tell them "When are you going to actually get the guts to ask me out instead of dogging it?" Hope this helps and good luck.
2007-03-23 14:51:37 · answer #3 · answered by carcrashhearts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're in their 20's and doing that? How odd!
Anyway, I was told it's a form of flirting. Apparently, guys pretty much suck at flirting, and want to get close but not show how they feel. Why? Because guys are told they can't show emotions. As a result, they try to be mean.
2007-03-23 14:50:30 · answer #4 · answered by ICan'tThinkOfAGoodName 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes! Guys like to act tough and confident a lot of the times so that they can impress a female. Guys sometimes like to act this way as well because they want to show that they know how to take control. I hope that this helps.
2007-03-23 14:50:15 · answer #5 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a nice question cause the same thing happen with me about 2 yrs ago i was 18 and he was 15. he did lie about his age so that i wouldn't know that he was 15. but after-wards he made sure he humiliated me about my weight. it was so rude and cruel at the same time that i ended up not being his friend anymore. it did hurt my feelings and now he ended up liking me for something else then looks.
2007-03-23 14:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the only way that the know of to get close to you and show their affection, but something that dont realize at the time is that they are only pushing you away. Guys are just as confusing as us girls! Hope this helps and good luck!
2007-03-23 14:45:05 · answer #7 · answered by Beautiful Disaster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a maaturity thing. If a man is old enough to ask you out without swallowing his tongue, he's got enough self-assurance and maturity to shake a stick at. But if he's all jittery and Goofy Dog "Gawrsh " like, he's probably lacking in one or both. Moral of the story, if you like him, its the 21st century. YOU ask HIM out.
2007-03-23 14:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by atlazdrama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they get nervous and say stupid things trying be very cool. I have never been more offended by any man than the man who is now my husband. I know exactly what you're saying.
2007-03-23 14:49:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is normal. it's just that most guys attempt to conceal the fact that they like a girl for some reson or another (me included). i dont understand it fully, but you would have to take into consideration every circumstance.
2007-03-23 14:48:11 · answer #10 · answered by got force? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋