my ex girlfriend and i were together for 2 years and a month...but everything was fine till the week before valentines day. we had jus moved out together and in october and i can honestly say that was one of the best experiences of my life. then out of no where her friend which is a girl starts callin her to come out all the time. then come to find out she was trying to hook her up with her bf's best friend. well it all started on february 9th...i never ever got jelouse but after that i noticed she was actin hella weird. she wouldnt come kiss me for no reason like before, wouldnt reply if i told her i loved her and no sex. then we got in a fight that wasnt even that big and she dumped me. 2 1/2 weeks later shes already messing with that guy, but she still tell me she loves me and she needs her space to be 21 single and having fun.
is she looking jus to have a good time and then come back to me later? what should i do to win her back? if she has sex with others shuld i tke her back?
2007-03-23 14:13:00 · 16 answers · asked by J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She is probably looking to have a good time, then try to come back to you later. If she is 21, and you all have been together since she is 19, then she has not had a chance to express her freedom as an independent young woman. This isn't your fault. She will probably realize that her new lifestyle doesn't compare to what a relationship with someone she loved offered her, and come back to you.
You shouldn't do or have to do anything to win her back. You didn't do anything wrong.
You should not take her back if she has sex with others. If you do this, and you all get even more serious and eventually get married, she may come to a point in her life when she feels she needs to take advantage of her freedom again. She will remember your forgiveness last time, and expect the same again. This could happen again at a point in your all's life where you have a family. Don't let her make a habit of this just so she can repeat it and hurt you, along with possibly your kids in the future.
Hope everything works out, hun!
2007-03-23 14:20:40 · answer #1 · answered by Amanda D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, so much to say to this one:
1) If you had suspicions it's likely you were both giving off weird vibes near the end there, and the fight was probably fueled just as much by your concerns as what ever was going on in her head.
2) If she is saying she needs some space, then give her space. Heck, take some yourself. Experience life. Feel free to meet other girls, and if something seems to be working out with one, don't fight it for the sake of a relationship that has ended. Because it has ended. If you sit around waiting for it to start again, what shape will you be in when it doesn't?
3) Either she wants some time out from your relationship or, in my opinion more likely, she just wanted to let you down easy. She may not have wanted to gowith this other guy when she broke up with you, but she probably began to notice that there are other fish in the sea and she still want to have her hook inthe water before settling down. Which makes sense since she's 21! I assume you're around the same age. I have news for you. Not many people end up for life with the person they're dating at 21.
Bluntly. It's over, whether for now or for good. If you two come together again so be it. But in the meantime get out there, get past it and start living life for yourself, not for whatr MIGHT happen.
2007-03-23 14:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by zen_cop 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was not honest with you. Although you love her I believe you deserve more respect. She is not ready to committ herself and conveniently dumped you. If you really love her, let her go. You just can't keep a person around you, who really does not want to be with you at all. It may hurt, but maybe it is time to let go and to move on with your own life.
She messes around with some other guy and tells you she loves you at the same time, sounds to me like she wants to keep you around like a spare in case the other relationship doesn't work out. Pretty crappy behavior. If you put up with this once she will do it over and over. In a deteriorating or deteriorated relationship the party who has the most self respect usually cuts off the relationship for good.
My advice, let her go. Don't take her back, if after two and a half years she can change you for someone else in such a short time without even talking about it, that should give you an idea of the value she placed in your relationship.
2007-03-23 14:26:41 · answer #3 · answered by Karan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest I think the reason she said she wanted space is probably because she had this other guy on the side trying to hook up with her and she wasn't sure what she wanted to do about the situation. When she reinforced the fact that you and her were "just friends" it was probably because she was starting to date this other guy and didn't want to feel guilty about it. I think she really cares about you and wants to be with you but because of her dad she would rather take the easier road and give this other guy a shot. What I would do if I were you is ignore her for a little while. Let her come to you. If she really wants to be with you it will drive her crazy and she will come back and if not then you know it's over and you can move on.
2016-03-29 01:36:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what? You can't see the signs clearly because you're right in it all.
You've got to forget her. She won't be good for you at all. She wants the comfort of you, but she also wants to be with other guys. That = cheater!
Don't take her back. Not at all. She'll just do it again. You become the comfort zone that she always returns to while she goes out to have her wild fun. That will severely suck. Guess what? The other guys get her while she's hot and happy, then she comes to you when she's depressed. Don't be some sort of martyr. Let her either grow up on her own, or dump her load on some other guy.
I bet there's a whine in her voice when she tells you that she loves you.
By telling you that she needs to be having fun, she's telling you that you're not fun. Right? She wants fun with other guys. Then when she's not in the mood for fun, she wants you.
Don't reward that kind of behaviour.
2007-03-23 14:24:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where do I start? .... She was looking for any reason to break up with you. That's why even when it was just a stupid fight, it was a good "in" for her to break up with you. Even though you guys had been dating for years, maybe it was too much when you guys moved in together and she wasn't ready for it. Dont' wait around around for her. Obviously she is not ready for a serious commitment right now in her life and who knows how long it will take until she is ready. I can tell that you really love this women, however I am not sure that there is anything you could do at this point to win her back. This whole thing has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with her wanting to mess around with other guys right now. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news!! Hope this helps!
2007-03-23 14:22:02 · answer #6 · answered by lillitaamojavy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to try to win her back you better do a lot of groveling, and begging for mercy. When she says that she wants to be single and have fun then that is precisely what she plans on doing and the chances of her taking you back are slim to none. You're better off finding someone else and going out and having your own fun. Chances are she might have already had sex with other guys and if she's done that already you might as well just give it up. There's a reason why you two are exs.
2007-03-23 14:20:26 · answer #7 · answered by poetry_dreamer2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly don't know why she had to split, except hormones. There had to be something ... "you did, she did, didn't do." There's a song in there somewhere ... her girl friend knows. And I'm sure, just waiting to tell you. Why don't you go over to her's and let her dump on you. Don't argue, find out and leave.
She may be back, but don't bet on it. First of all, she may be too embarrassed. If you look for the signs, you might see them, or not. If you've got nothing else to do, I'd say wait a bit. Nothing happen by then, go on the prowl again.
2007-03-23 14:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go. she wants to be single and live free for now so let her go. measnwhile u do the same. then maybe when shes readi to stell down again for good and u 2 realize how much u missed eachtoher u can start over again. but if that neva happens then move on and dont let her hold u bac for life. go and have fun!!! seroius fun!!!! for ur age u should be havin fun not moping ova her! love on unless u 2 realize u were meant to be! bestz luck
2007-03-23 14:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know man, but it doesn't sound like she cares that much about you, hate to be brutally honest, maybe she's just going through some kinda girl thing but it's not exactly responsible behavior in so far as the relationship, right...?
2007-03-23 14:17:31 · answer #10 · answered by netthiefx 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋