heres another poem i wrote when i was feelin c_R_A_P_P_Y again, I'M NOT EMO!!!
all the things i do have a reason
if you were smart
you'd know what they mean
you wanna know? well heres why
when i talk to you
i want to start a conversation, i want to tell you things important to me
i dont mean to be a bother, i just want some credit
when i follow you
i want you to see me, i want to know the things you know
i dont want you to think im nosey , i just want some attention
when i watch you
im trying to find out what makes us so different
sure, the outside were like fire and ice
but is that the best you can come up with?
these are just a few of the reasons why i do the things i do
if your smart you will be able to figure the rest out
im not that complicated
just talk to me, you'll be surpriesed at what you find
2007-03-23 13:50:20 · 12 answers · asked by redneck girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
this was about me when i was really upset, i just wrote it down and i felt better
2007-03-23 14:00:38 · update #1
simple, explainable reasons
For the things you make me do
I talk to you...
interact with me
Listen to me
try to understand me
because i so desperately want
To know you
I follow you...
to remind you
that I'm still here
that I'll always be here
I watch you...
To absorb the intricate ways
that you are, simply, you
to understand the things
that I'm so drawn to
I simply want to know you
Is that so wrong?
2007-03-23 13:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its nice i like it but im not feeling the emotion a poem should take you into teh authors mind and make you feel for soemthing that you never went thru or could even imagine it takes you into that person reality..this sounds like a converstaion between you and your boyfriend only thing is your boyfriends dialouge is missing......i think you should put more anologies and avderbs and adjectives...but i love it because its how you feel and you trying to convey your feelings but i think with a lil polishing this could be reaaly reaaally good but remember 99percent of writing is rewriting so good luck and keep writing poems you can see that you are really developing a talent of conveying words
2007-03-23 21:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by lilmizzd2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at the end were u said just talk to me youll be surpriesed at what you find, put out at the end.
Ummm....and kindda make it ryhm a little.
I know poems dont have to ryhm, it just gives them a good tick!
2007-03-23 20:55:44 · answer #3 · answered by Sidney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's nice. I like it. Ummm, you could try ryhming, but i know that's hard. U could...try saying more about how u feel, (like get down and deep). Or u coudl try describing this person more. Like if it's a girl: u could say things about her eyes. Like if they're blue they could be oceans or seas or even the sky. But make it more...emotion. U could throw more anger in. That normally works.
2007-03-23 20:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by Kitten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a really good poem, the only way I could say that you could really make it better is make it flow a little better.
2007-03-23 20:54:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like your poem the way it is. and just cuase u feel like!!! doesn't mean your emo.
2007-03-23 20:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this doesn't read like a poem, this reads like an open letter to someone.
2007-03-23 20:54:50 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its awesome...u should write more stuff when ur in a bad mood...even in a good mood...u obviously have a gift
Luv ya...xoxo
2007-03-23 21:05:12 · answer #8 · answered by Baby_G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU WRITING A NOTE MAKE RYTHM WITH WORDS THAT GO TOGETHER LIKE EXM: LOVE DOVE LIKE THAT
2007-03-23 20:54:52 · answer #9 · answered by illest_lil_dyme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HOLY CRAP!!! That sounds just like me and my boyfriend.
2007-03-23 20:54:11 · answer #10 · answered by Kris13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋