This probably isn't my best poem. I just made it up in 30 seconds again... probably more but It's about a girl who likes a guy but her crush already has a girlfriend so her feelings are told throughout the poem. You can read my last poem, click my name, it's probably better than this one. But I just made it really fast so it's quite short... what do you think!
"Jealousy"
My heart just sinks,
when the dumb girl winks,
a smirk on her face,
what a nasty disgrace.
My crush doesn't know,
How much it really hurts,
to see him with his girl,
and she just flirts.
I try not to give up,
It's like a stupid hard test,
always confusing,
even if I try my best.
How can I get him?
Should I really just wait,
For this loving moment,
to break up with his mate?
Jealousy is one of the few things,
that really does suck,
but if you go for it,
you might have a little luck.
-katekitty, 13
2007-03-23 13:43:20 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its really not telling me much about jealously in itself... =0)
2007-03-23 14:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the last stanza of your poem just about says it all. Jealousy is one of the most hurtful and debilitating with potentiality for danger for harm in the wide array of emotions known. If unchecked, the emotion of jealousy of one over another will result in the hurt, disappointment, strife up to the physical harm of another human being, some are recorded in history. I cannot find one positive thing that has added to any situation by this emotion. It allows all kinds of thought that is devious in nature and makes us see avenues that are not consistant with the respect we should show to others. When was the last time that you heard, "Did you see her with him, I would like to be with him but good for them I wish them happiness." Yeah, never and you never will because jealousy is not a good emotion and with a little help from a friend you can overcome its power. Try not to obsess over the situation of another to a point that you will try to make the same situation yours. What is meant to be will and if we are lucky no one will use the same when you are happy and the other girl, maybe sitting next to you are jealous of your bf thinking about how to separate you from him for herself. Just food for thought.
2007-03-23 22:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by missionaryplus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This poem REALLY expresses emotion. You have made it very hardcore, very straightforward. No confusing hidden messages; it conveys a simple meaning - how much you despise this girl, how much hope you put towards your crush, and how much jealousy has accumulated inside of you.
I also think that you have done the rhyming pattern well. 2-4 rhyme, right?
You have also separated the verses well.
The only real critisism I have is;
Be confident!!! Don't say that it sucks when it doesn't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-23 21:23:35 · answer #3 · answered by BandaiBlossom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should keep writing - its awsome - I think you could even make a great song writer - which would prob be more rewarding - take up guitar lessons and put your words to music - go girl - wish Id have done that myself when I was your age.... you have a gift because you can express your feelings - not everyone can do this and to make it rhyme - well you blow me away.... Happy dayz ahead for you!
2007-03-23 21:06:19 · answer #4 · answered by gudsport 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
better than some of mine are. go 13 year olds!! you seem to have a skill at writing poetry, so you should continue with that for as long as you can and make it your job or at least a side job or something. you have a lot of potential. good job.
2007-03-23 20:48:59 · answer #5 · answered by stevie_girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know honesty, I dislike many poems....but this one is real deep...you express your self very well! I bet that if you were to publish this, you would make a lot of money, because so many people can relate to it...Amazing job...ONCORE! ONCORE!
â¥-Love- â¥
2007-03-23 20:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't rate it better than "the fine". You go girl.
2007-03-23 20:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by lyyman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, you got talent, honey, you need to be sending that in to be published somewhere.
2007-03-23 20:50:43 · answer #8 · answered by Winter Glory 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good poem. you have talent.
2007-03-23 20:49:58 · answer #9 · answered by Richard Head 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice .. I like it. :D
2007-03-23 20:51:34 · answer #10 · answered by Isabelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋