I am 23 years old and i am totally in love. The guy is way older than I am (39) but I really love him. He loves me too. A week ago he asked me if I would marry him. Of course I said yes and I was about to say it, but first he had to tell me something.HE IS A PALIGAMIST!!!!!!!!! He already has 2 wives and he wants me to join their family. I would have to help take care of 7 kids and keep it a secret. I would have to convert, but I love him. What should I do?
2007-03-23 13:17:38 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i looked at all of your questions. you're just trying to get a laugh. half of you're other questions are about when you're gonna get you're period!!! don't you have anything better to do with you're time?
2007-03-23 13:31:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's your call, I realize that it's heart breaking, that you really think that you love him, but are you sure that you can reform to his standards No way in hell would I ever get into a relationship like this. This is like brain washing. He certainly knows how to play women. Do you think that you could possibly share a bed, take a number and not be jealous. Man, I just couldn't do it. And play Mommy to these other women's children, wow! What about your parents? You would have to abandon your parents for his way of life. If I was your Mom or Dad and found out about this guy, I would take a base ball bat to him and he would never walk again.You mean to tell me that you would actually baby sit these women's children, while he is in the bed room getting it on with one of them? If I was you I would join the Coast Guard, get a education and forget about this guy. The Coast Guard would provide housing, education, medical and a career for the rest of your life. My husband joined at 17 and retired at 37, never to have to work again, he gets a retirement check for the rest of his life. You would be totally independent, get to live in small beach towns. The other Coasties become your immediate family. You could become a doctor, a lawyer, a pilot, a dispatcher, a medic........the possibilities are endless. Even if you never join the Coast Guard, you need to think long and hard before getting into a relationship with this man. Thinking for yourself would be over, he would run every aspect of your life. You will also be breaking the laws of nature and the law (as in cops). You have your whole life ahead of you. I'll bet that you've never been to the Florida Keys, how about St. Petersburg, Florida? Have you ever been on a sail boat? You are so young and have so much living ahead of you, unless you marry this guy with two wives and seven children. Please reconsider this decision, you deserve so much better:)' One more very serious question, "Do these people ever get a divorce?" I've seen women in relationships where they cannot get out, if they try to leave, the man hunts them down, beats them up and drags them back home. The police will not help you because they know that you knew what you were getting to and your relationship is against the law. You become this mans property and self servant to him, when he wants sex you obey. Never in 100 years would I live like that. You end up with a pack of kids and no way out. I would be MAD if a man even suggested something like that
2007-03-23 13:39:39 · answer #2 · answered by Cheryl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it going to be OK with you when he sleeps with the other women on "their" nights? Can you handle never going out or to a club? How 'bout when the women tell you what to do and how to do it, because they were there before you and probably a bit older. You would convert to Mormonism, your life would not be your OWN! These people are not average people. Go to the library and read about them.You may be getting in way over your head. Sometimes love is not enough.
2007-03-23 13:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel that you love him enough to become the 3rd wife of a polygamist? Think about it. He already has 2 wives; he probably says "I love you" to them too every night. And seven kids!?!? Look into the future. Can you see yourself being called "Third Mommy" and not being the first in his priorities? I know it sounds selfish, but think about it. You'll be spending a long time, if not the rest of your life, with him.
2007-03-23 13:22:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That was an awfully big secret for him to keep until after he proposed! There may be other things you don't know. I wouldn't get into a relationship where you can't be yourself because you have to keep your marriage secret. Polygamists live a very different lifestyle than what you were expecting. You are young and have so much to look forward to. Don't you want to share that with someone who only wants to share his life with you and only you?
2007-03-23 13:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by teaching7 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be and move on. At 23, you'll meet other guys....guys who want to be with you and only you. Sounds like you're the only one who'd be giving up something for this type of marriage. What would he be giving up? Go to him and say "No thank you", and move on. Better still, move back in with your parents. You need a little more guidance and life experience.
2007-03-23 13:24:34 · answer #6 · answered by Christy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh sweetie he has totally brain-washed you into settling for him!! girl you deserve a guy that's going to love you and only you. Dont you desire to be the only one and not have to share your man with anyone else? Girl you will be making a big mistake if you decide to go with it....i know you have doubts too, or you wouldnt be wondering if you should do it.. you deserve more than what he's willing to give you. That is not love.
2007-03-23 13:28:26 · answer #7 · answered by ♥vix♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! Well Are you ready to commit to something like that??
I gotta tell you I wouldnt do it if you paid me no way...Share your husband then when he gets tired of you thats it something new (after you have had a few kids) and you are going to be the (new) more like nanny...Then lets say he gets an STD well you all have it now??? I mean think about it, really...
Good Luck~
2007-03-23 13:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by **Mishelly** 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
run far away from him- don't let him even talk with you on the phone. There is no legal polygmy in the US. Convert to what? Never mind, just get out of that relationship today.
2007-03-23 13:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by tony_facade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god! dont be stupid to marry him.. you deserve to be happy in life. I am in an abusive relationship, like my husband yell at me all time and makes me depressed, but your situation is soooooooooo difficult.. For your life's sake , dont do that!!!! Youll find someone to love and love you back without worrying about two other wives..is he muslim?
2007-03-23 18:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by confused_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he should have told you about this a lot sooner. right now you should take a step back and think about what kind of life you want to have.
also, you're only 23! i bet there's another perfect guy for you out there somewhere!
i would take your time in figuring this one out, it's a life-changing decision.
good luck ;)
2007-03-23 13:24:00 · answer #11 · answered by italiancat73 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋