My husband and I were just married in a very small ceremony of about 15 people in the town where we now live. We had already announced our wedding date as October 6th to everyone and were planning to still have a large ceremony for everyone in our home state where the majority of our family and friends are. More and more though we're feeling like people won't want to come because it's not the real thing and are thinking of throwing a wedding party instead. I've heard of these before but I don't actually know what the etiquette calls for in this type of situation. How do we go about telling everyone that we already got married and inviting them to the party without hurting peoples feeling and looking like we just want gifts?
2007-03-23 12:37:07 · 11 answers · asked by Curious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Go for it! Everyone loves the party, anyway. Most places that you go for invitations will give you suggestions for wording on invites for a couple that eloped or just wants to have the party. It will say something like "Now that we're married, we want to celebrate it!" or something similar but not so dull. :-) Also try theknot.com for tips on planning and etiquette; at this point, you have at least 6 months until the original date and invites never went out, so it's totally okay to change it.
It's definitely not unheard of that a couple will change direction and go with a spur-of-the-moment small ceremony in the midst of planning. Anyone who loves you will be happy for you regardless, and will want to celebrate with you. Good luck!
2007-03-23 12:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are two ideas for you: Host a old fashion "at home" that is just a buffet and people coming to pay their respects at your home. This is done by sending an invitation with the date and time. Some people will bring gifts, the others won't.
The second is that my gf son was married in one state and they held a dinner in the bride and grooms honor (at a banquet hall), complete with band and open bar. Like a wedding reception, but the bride and groom did not dress up. They were announced like a wedding reception, had their first dance of the evening and a toast from the best man. This is done with invitations and include RSVP cards. Most people brought gifts like they were going to the wedding reception.
Both were well done and received well by the guest attending.
2007-03-23 12:45:06 · answer #2 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom and stepfather did this one. They were married at home actually and then they had a reception where my mom had a dress made and they recreated the whole thing for the guests. It was a blast. There was dinner, drinks, and dancing. They even had a guy come and do comedy. I wouldn't worry about people not coming because who doesn't love a good party. Besides this will give everyone a chance to wish the newlyweds well. Good luck and congratulations
2007-03-23 12:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Ki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our best friends eloped and had a party in each of their hometowns.....a TON of people cam e to wish them well! The invites were from the parents asking you to come to a celebration in honor of the marriage of "jake & margaret". Everyone knew it wasnt to get gifts! More and more people are doing this. Remember, the people you are inviting love you and are probably really excited that you got married. I'm sure they're wanting to celebrate since they didnt get to go to a wedding! It was my hubbys best friend that eloped and he was SO excited for the party since we couldnt be at the ceremony!
2007-03-23 12:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by GAjen 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget it, I misread, I thought everyone knew you were married already. This is trucky because there are going to be hurt feelings. If you only JUST got married, have your parents put an announcement in the paper and also, send out announcements yourself to everyone saying that you and your husband eloped and that they will be recieving details regarding a celebration to be held at a later date.
But you have to get those out toot sweet, most people will understand an elopement, they wont understand you keeping the information deliberately from them.
2007-03-23 13:28:28 · answer #5 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You HAD your wedding. That's it! Done deal! If you want to host a dinner and announce your marriage to everybody as you raise your glass in a toast to your future, that's fine. Just be prepared to deal with all the offended friends and family that you didn't invite, and waited until NOW to tell. As for getting gifts from them? You'd be lucky to get a card at this point. You can't exclude those who are important to you from something like a wedding, wait until NOW to tell them you're married, and then expect gifts after the fact.
2007-03-23 13:10:36 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you been married before? Do you have any idea what a pain in the butt a wedding is? Why bother! Have the party. Enjoy it. Don't expect gifts. Etiquette should not rule your life anyway.
2007-03-23 12:41:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wake up! most ppl know by now that everyone has small weddings & then open wedding receptions.
Its not a big deal--you can easily find suitable wording on the net too.
We chose this sort of wording as we got married in June & then had a party where we live at present in July approx 6 wks later.
We sent out end of May, early June, annoucenments & invites together on one card to our people who lived in our city.
"As most of you are aware, we're heading home on ___ to have a family wedding but we'll be ready to celebrate our nupitals with our friends when we come home".
Please RSVP by ____ July, to please let us know that you will enjoy us in celebrating our nupitals with our friends & family on July ____.
Thank you me & fiance
It went over really well, those who were going to give gifts gave us gifts, everyone else came over to eat our food.
It was fun! But we made it like a huge party & gave them catered food & drinks!
2007-03-23 14:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by belligerent assistant 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to have it as soon as possible - don't wait til October. Just have family and friends for a dinner and dance, if you want. With the circumstances being odd, you might just want to say that gifts are not required.
2007-03-23 14:17:22 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just send everyone wedding reception cards. My cousin lived far away from all of her family and had the wedding close to her husbands family and had a big reception close to all of her/our family. It was fine.
2007-03-23 12:42:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋