I once heard a spiritually wise man say, "When you try to please someone, that it means you hate them." This has been the most thought provoking statement I have ever heard and I don't understand it. What do you think, from a spiritual perspective, is this true? Could this be true? Does it make sense?
2007-03-23 12:26:07 · 20 answers · asked by Guess Who? 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
To Julian, it is thought provoking because 10 years after hearing this remark, I still wonder about it and I get nowhere with it. This is why I bring to to Yahoo Answers to get some ideas on it. Your answer is very good by the way. You took it a step further.
2007-03-23 12:37:12 · update #1
Well, if it restricts you from speaking the truth in love, then to a certain extent yes. There is also a Scripture that says that a parent who doesn't reprove his child hates them.
2007-03-23 12:29:27 · answer #1 · answered by Revelation S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When you try to please someone it is a false love. You want love that is conditional. You give someone a diamond to get affection. Would you love someone if they were poor? What love can that be? only a false one.
proverbs 27:6 says that the wounds of a friend are faithful but the kisses of enemies are decietful
If you are going to the prom and you are popular, would you want the advice from a friend that says that you look like a hooker in that dress ...or would you want the sweetness of an admirer who says you look good in anything. You have to take pictures to show your grandkids one day!
Part of love is telling the truth even if it hurts a little but you tell them because you love them and want the best for them and you also trust their good judgement.
2007-03-23 19:39:43 · answer #2 · answered by Ms DeeAnn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't understand it, how can it be thought provoking? There's a difference between trying to figure out something contradictory and contemplating something intellectual.
So the quote is: "When you try to please someone (implying you are striving to do a positive and good thing for them) it means you hate them (implying you are striving to do something negative and harmful to them)."
It's intentionally formulating a paradox in your mind by forcing a positive and a negative concept together. It sounds mostly like Zen and it should be understood to be utterly absurd, like the sound of one hand clapping? A tree falling and no one hearing it? Do these ring a bell as to the similarity? It's basically like saying "if you do good, you'll always do bad."
The reality of it is, why? Why do you want to please someone. Only you will know if you really hate them or not, and what the true reasons are for why you are attempting to please someone.
Is it good to please someone? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but that in no way merits the proof that you hate the person.
As I said, utterly absurd Zen bullsh*t.
2007-03-23 19:32:08 · answer #3 · answered by Julian 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the sense of the statement involves telling people what they need to hear, what is in their best interest, even if what you are telling them is not pleasant to hear.
An example would be pleading with your grandfather to stop smoking cigarets, because if he continues he will probably die of lung cancer or emphysema or something like that. Smokers don't like to hear those things and most people avoid saying them because they can hurt someone's feelings, but if you say it in love and with a sincere intention for the best interest of the person, it shows you really care about them.
2007-03-23 19:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by wefmeister 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the statement would need a lot of conditions put upon it to make it true. Here's what the Bible says about married couples for instance.
1 Corinthians 7:33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.
There's nothing wrong with trying to please people as long as you are not withholding valid criticisms that would help them out.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
2007-03-23 19:46:27 · answer #5 · answered by Martin S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Many times the thoughts of man are at opposites from the thoughts of God. Proverbs says : A way seems right to a man, but, it leads to destruction.
2007-03-23 19:35:18 · answer #6 · answered by Midge 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It essentially means that if you are unwilling to take the time to make your arguments cogent enough for another to understand, you are basically saying you are so full of disdain for the other person that it is not worth your time. Instead you would rather just tell them what they want to hear and move on.
"Suffering fools gladly" is another way of saying the same thing and expressing the same sentiment.
2007-03-23 21:00:01 · answer #7 · answered by Ask Mr. Religion 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would disagree. I would rather try to please someone I love. Though I can't say that I hate anyone. Makes no sense to me.
2007-03-23 19:31:09 · answer #8 · answered by beano™ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its true to a point.
lets say 2 people are working the same job...but one person insists on pleasing the other...after a while im sure it would be annpying....some people are looking for intellectual equals, not someone whose simply going to please them..
if i want to be served, pleased and pampered ill go to a spa and pay for it. but i dont want to be pampered by someone whose my equal.
2007-03-23 19:28:13 · answer #9 · answered by johnny.zondo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds complete and utter crap to me, but I'm willing to be persuaded otherwise.
2007-03-23 19:28:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋