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The Guys' Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules" from the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl.
If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

2007-03-23 11:43:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

14 answers

loooooooool omg u rock !!!!!!!! im a gurl and everything yes i noe this but i feel like u were talking to me.... i love u !!!!!! u have summed up wat whineys women can b and i realy do apreaciate u very much thnx have a great day!!

2007-03-23 11:52:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mishy 2 · 0 0

well i am a woman and i have to say its so true the guys rules some of us woman are so daft to ask u men stuff and we ge the ansewrs u have just given i loved the part about the headches that was funny glad to say i do nt get headaches lol
good poem

hope the couch is nt to lumpy for you tonight lol

2007-03-23 11:55:24 · answer #2 · answered by dd 4 · 0 1

I've read this be for its always good to read. its true also. but usual i must say shopping is a sport have you ever been in a mall on black Friday (day after turkey day) ??????? :D

2007-03-23 12:04:44 · answer #3 · answered by ~*These Blue Eyes Tell No Lies*~ 5 · 0 0

The toilet seat one is soooo true.

2007-03-23 12:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Good ones! So true though.

2007-03-23 11:50:52 · answer #5 · answered by cats 7 · 0 0

I say this for all men.....
We applaud you.
(And we're sorry you're sleeping on the couch.)

2007-03-23 11:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sexy_Duck 2 · 1 0

i thought it was funny...guys minds are really simple.lol!
btw hope ur camping trip goes well

2007-03-23 11:53:20 · answer #7 · answered by flatteredwu 5 · 0 0

cool

2007-03-23 13:38:00 · answer #8 · answered by Jazz Lover 2 · 0 0

nice

2007-03-23 11:49:39 · answer #9 · answered by the drummer boy 2 · 0 0

fantastic

2007-03-23 11:49:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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