I found out this morning that my favourite cat Thomas was dead, after he'd obviously been hit by a car last night, or early this morning. I had tried to call him in at 8pm, but he didn't come...so it may have already happened by then. My partner found him next to the road on his way to work, so whoever hit him had obviously moved him.
Will these distraught, empty, sad feelings pass? I can't eat, and I'm bursting into tears every five minutes. I miss him so much, and keep expecting to feel him come up to nudge me whilst I'm sitting down. He was only 11 months, and has left behind our older cat, and his brother from the same litter...both of which are currently huddled together, as if they know something is wrong. I feel guilty as if I should've been able to prevent it, but there was nothing I could do....I just hope he doesn't feel that I've failed him in some way.
2007-03-23 10:46:29 · 32 answers · asked by Anon 4 in Pets ➔ Cats
Eventually your pain will slowly pass. I walked around my house for over a week constantly in tears when my dog Boo-Boo died. And his litter mate Leroy Brown was reacting the same way as your cats, they miss their buddy as much as you do.
Your feelings are normal and these feelings can only be healed by time. I truly know the pain you are feeling right now.
Just comfort yourself by consoling Thomas' buddies, you all need a great big hug right now.
And if you are restless and feeling down feel free to IM me, its always nice to find support in people who truly know how you are feeling. I know the emptiness you are feeling right now, and that tightness you feel near your diaphragm. And in time it will pass, it just takes time to heal your soul.
2007-03-23 12:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Gianna M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about your cat. . You loved him and your present feelings are perfectly understandable. You're bound to miss him a lot at first, but eventually the feelings of sadness and emptiness do fade. It's true that time is a great healer, even though it won't seem like that now.
Your two other cats will notice that Thomas has gone, but they are perhaps sensing your sadness too.
The only thing that will stop your heart from healing is guilt. As humans we believe in cause and effect, and don't like accepting that sometimes things happen that we could not have prevented even if we had tried to. You gave him a good life and he was loved, which is a lot more than some poor animals ever get to experience. See the link below to an article about why you shouldn't let guilt overwhelm you when you lose a pet. I found it really helped me eventually come to terms with the death of my own beloved cat.
http://rainbowsbridge.com/stories/Lynn-BreakingThePowerofGuilt-632963483160948750.aspx
The Rainbows Bridge is a good pet memorial web site that brings a lot of comfort to bereaved pet owners. I hope it can do the same for you.
2007-03-24 06:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by Michele the Louis Wain cat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a cat last week the same way, I'd had her for five years and it was such a shock. You have to remember that cats are very independent creatures and love to explore so there is no way you could've prevented it. I'm sure he was much happier being allowed to have adventures in the great outdoors than he would've been if you had kept him as a house cat. Get a picture of him from happier times, have it enlarged and framed and put it somewhere where you will always see it, we've done this with a pic of the one I've just lost and it makes you feel a lot better because as long as that pic is within sight, you will always remember him. Give your other two cats lots of fuss and attention as they will have picked up that all is not right and need your support to let them know that they haven't done anything wrong. Take care x
2007-03-24 04:06:16 · answer #3 · answered by gemma_florida 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat! These things do happen, and it makes us feel so sad. Of course it is normal to feel so upset, our cats are like family to us.
I have had many cats over the years, some have come to harm and others lived out their lives and died naturally. It is still painful every time. It is easy to say that the feelings do pass over time, but we never forget. I still miss each of my cats as though it was just yesterday.
I believe that the other cats know that something has happened to him and that cats do grieve too. They just have shorter long term memories than we do.
What helped me to get over my kitties was to talk about them to other friends that knew them. Share some funny things they did or adventures you had together. And it's okay to just let yourself be sad for a while, everyone grieves in their own way.
I also gave my kitties a little funeral so that I could say "goodbye". It seems to help for closure.
Again, sorry to hear and hope this helps :)
2007-03-23 11:12:29 · answer #4 · answered by supersuzym 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww bless you have reduced me too tears, i'm such a woos.
I'm Sorry to hear about your moggy, i hope but in a nice way that his death was sudden and he never suffered, poor little mite.
Like everything honey time is a good healer, if possible if you have a garden have a little funeral for him, where you can at least say goodbye, i no this may sound a little nutty, but my cat had kittens 2 yrs ago, only two of them and they both died at 3 weeks old, within hours of eachother, my kids were devastaed, and it really helped that we had a funeral for them so they could say good bye, it also helped there grief that we decided to rehome a cat from a rescue society, and a cat they could choose, and it helped so much....Give it a try, because in the loss of your own cat, you have given another cat a chance of a happy life
Again im really sorry for your loss....
2007-03-23 10:59:33 · answer #5 · answered by X_Angie_p_X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is terribly heartbreaking to lose a pet because they are so much a part of your life and your family - I truly know the feeling, but please, you mustn't feel you have failed Thomas. This was such a tragic way to go but he probably wouldn't have known anything about it, and you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. In the days to come you will perhaps sense his spirit around you and so will your other cats. It can help to hold a favourite toy of his or sit where he liked to be and just think about him. He will somehow let you know that you are not to blame. It might help you to email the Pet Bereavement Support Service (PBSS). You can email a befriender on: pbssmail@bluecross.org.uk, or you can phone free on: 0800 096 6606 and talk to someone who will understand how you feel. I really hope this helps.
2007-03-23 12:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG, I am soooo sorry, I can't imagine my kitty dead. She is only 7 months. She is an indoor cat, but we take her out on a leash and everyone laughs at us. She drives me nuts cuz she wants to go out all the time. We only take her out after work, for an hour or two....but I cannot imagine that happening.
Each day will get better and it will be very hard at first, and I am so sorry. Maybe you should get another cat when you are ready. Thomas would want you to be happy!
2007-03-23 12:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear about Thomas. Pet bereavement is just as painful as human bereavement. It takes time for the pain to go away. It does go...but it goes slowly. You have to rely on the two remaining cats to make up for Thomas and this will happen as you watch them and when they come to you for affection. If you have him cremated, you can at least have his ashes near you in the interim until you get over him.
You must'nt feel you have failed him because you allowed him out. At least he was free. The driver who hit him is probably just another speeder with no concern for pets or other animals. It was probably a passerby who placed him at the side of the road as these speeding drivers rarely stop.
Just love your other two cats a little more and let time take its course.
Feel so sorry for you at this moment. Be brave.
2007-03-23 11:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by JohnH(UK) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just over a year ago i lost My beloved cat to a road accident..i was devastated as he was only 18months old, even more so devastated was when i found his brother dead in the garden..he had died of cardiomyopathy he was only 22 months old... I now have 3 other cats all just over two years old but i still miss the other two dreadfully. it takes time and please don't "beat yourself up" if cats go outside they are open to many dangers and it cant be helped as they are inquisitive! it was at least a week before i stopped crying but even now i still cry some times when i think of them! You havent failed , he may have had a short life but he knows he was loved and well cared for! Make sure the other two get plenty of hugs( i can feel myself getting upset as i type this!)
...........>^..^<
2007-03-23 18:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my 8 month old cat 3 months ago and i was devastated. We let her out as usual at 8 and she would normally return by 11. My husband stayed up until 2.30 am but went to bed when she didn't return. We searched high and low for her, put adverts in local shops and papers poster all over the estate and everything. I cried every night like you said just out of the blue i would be making dinner then think of her and start crying. We got a phne call 2 weeks later from a lady who live in the street to say that a neighbour had knocked on her house the saturady morning Molly went Friday night) to ask for a shovel as she had found a dead cat in the graden, the women went to see if it was hers and told me that the cat fitted molly's discription from my poster. I cannot tell you how upset i was i felt sick as a dog and kept getting horrible imagaes in my head for weeks later. I like yourself felt so guilty for letting her out in the first place. I now have a 9/10 month old kitten who i will not be letting out. I didn't get my new cat jasmine as a replacement for molly i got her for my 3 year old son who still doesn't know that molly was killed but thinks she ran off with her boyfriend!!!! I would of got a cat anyway but what i did was got jasmine from a rescue centre so i knew the money i paid for her was going to a good cause and some of the guilt was then let off me even though i knew i didn't kill molly. It will pass but not yet as mine hasn't.it is awful loosing an animal like that and the feeling is awful in fact its liking loosing you mum or dad. That sounds strange but i can imagine the pain been the same. I hope your ok and your family and with time this feeling will subside. Your cat will be looking down on you with my cat molly laughing at us for been daft and they will be having the time of their life in kitty heaven. God bless and think of all the good times you had together xxxxxx
2007-03-23 11:06:38 · answer #10 · answered by fairylandk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋