hi, i'm 18 but i still live with my parents. i love my parents, but to me it seems like i'm their unwanted child. when they get mad at me for something they give me some REALLY stabing painful comments. these comment are like i as a parent would never want say this to my kid. i believe parents are supposed to help kids through a problem and help them have a better self concept. However, i am begininning to feel negative about myself since they started to give me these comments. they don't call me names or anything but things like "you r the reason we have all the sicknesses," "when we die u'll be happy that we died" or "u show urself as good person but u really are bad (evil) inside." they started telling me things like that since i made a big mistake and they lost trust over me. i have been doing exactly as they told me to becoz i realized my mistake, but i think they didn't see the honest part of me. am i going crazy to think like that or is it really something serious? wat do i do?
2007-03-23 10:36:27 · 7 answers · asked by gurria_rulz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are being verbally and emotionally abused. The fact that you feel unwanted and wouldn't want to say things like that to your own kid says it all.
As someone who experienced this type of treatment at the hands of their parents (mostly my mother), I am going to tell you something I wish someone had told me at that age:
One, your parents have absolutely no right to talk to you that way--even if they think they are being helpful.
Two, you are entitled to respectful, civil treatment because you are a human. No, it doesn't matter that you are a kid who relies on Mom and Dad for support. No, it doesn't matter that your parents are adults and allowed to do what they please. And no, it doesn't matter that you made a "big mistake".
Three, you don't owe your parents a thing because you didn't ask to be born. You were born during the late '80's which means that your parents had legal access to birth control, abortion, and adoption. If they took you home from the hospital and raised you it's because they conscientiously chose to become parents. Don't ever let them tell you that you have to put up with sh*tty treatment because they gave you life. And no, you don't owe them your love, loyalty, or servitude.
Four, your parents are incredibly screwed up if they think this is appropriate behavior. This makes me wonder exactly how big this mistake you made was.
Five, there are seven BILLION other people on the planet, any number of which are willing to provide a sense of belonging and acceptance to you that your biological family will not. Leave home as soon as you are able and make as many friends as possible.
Six, please read the following books. I found them to be INCREDIBLY helpful to me.
*The Emotionally Abusive Relationship by Beverly Engel
*If You Had Controlling Parents by Dan Neuharth
*When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends by Victoria Secunda
*Children of Abusive Parents by Steven Farmer
Sorry I was so long winded. Good luck and God bless.
2007-03-23 11:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why we have friends, councillors and people around us to talk face-to-face with. They know best and can help us. Maybe it isn't you with the problem but your parents. I can't say alot as I don't know what happens or what goes on as I'm only hearing the one side of the story. The best thing you can do is talk to everyone you trust and don't let it bottle up inside you and you'll feel better if you talk.
2007-03-23 11:21:47 · answer #2 · answered by Gumby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to either sit down and talk to them and tell them how you feel or get a job and move out on your own if you can support yourself.
2007-03-23 11:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by hr4me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am not shure how to answer this one i will give it a try tell them how you feel and if you do have a job go find somthing you can call your own if you want and tell them you relized that you made a big mistake and you hope that they will forgive you somday. and apolgey for what happened.
2007-03-23 11:28:03 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if i were you id tell them how you feel and how much it really hurts. use examples that you know will make them see your point. if that doesnt work, tell them youre sorry and move out or go somewhere for a while
2007-03-23 10:47:18 · answer #5 · answered by Lindsay Lee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
turn to prostitution, the money is good and you will get all the attention you crave. when you have been on game for a while ask your daddy if he wants you to blow him off, he won`t be able to risist.....no more picking on you,,,,,daddy has just found new friend...
2007-03-23 11:28:36 · answer #6 · answered by martinscud 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell them how u feel!!!!
2007-03-23 10:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by jessie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋