Hello, I have never done this before but I need some advice. I am the fiance of an Iraqi war verteran. He has been home for 2 years now. Our wedding would be 5 months away. However, he was issued an order warning for possible deployment to Iraq. We have had to cancel everything. It looks as if they are 99.9% sure that he will be leaving most likely before the start of the summer. My question is......should we move up the wedding and get married before his deployment. He is my world and deployed or not deployed I want to be with him for forever. I need some advice....thank you so much for your time. God bless all of those in our military and their families...my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
2007-03-23 10:19:33 · 19 answers · asked by Jessica N 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Follow your heart. But just remember this....the wedding is such a small part of the marriage.
You can always go to the Justice of the Peace and get married that way. And then while he is away, plan your big wedding (if you want one).
Good luck to you. I know this is a hard thing that you are going through.
2007-03-23 11:24:14 · answer #1 · answered by twinmomm 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You've already gotten a lot of good advice from people who are there and have been there. My wife and I were already married long before I got deployed. However, I was on the Task Force staff, and saw a lot of things from the soldiers. Single men tend to act like "single men", when given the chance. Married men (usually) take that concept into consideration before doing ignorant things. Besides, you make more money being married, than you do single!
One other reason I would say to do it... I don't mean to sound morbid, but... I've seen mothers get their sons' flag and the fiance (girlfriend, etc...) was left with nothing but a hole in her heart. Just a thought. Good luck to you, and to him.
2007-03-23 20:31:38 · answer #2 · answered by Vet Employment 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would wait!!!!! I am a ex army wife and we got married in may 02 and he deployed in march 03 needless to say we didnt get our happily married couple time out it was ruiened. When he came back from the war he was diffrent and it all went sour from then on. Personally through my own experience and seein it being done with many other couples i military relationship is the hardest you can be in, if you two can stay in love after a year or so apart and be faithfull then make it a big wedding bash for when he gets home that way it is a welcome home party, r and r for him, and you get the real newly wed feeling and dont feel left out. When u get married and he immediatly leaves it dont feel real!
2007-03-24 00:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by missflexgr 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can do what a lot of us have done.... have a civil ceremony, then have a "real wedding" when you know you can actually plan one.
That's what my husband and I did and that was even pre-9/11. I would especially recommend it in your case so you can be "in the loop" with his unit while he's deployed. Girlfriends don't get the same consideration, because let's face it, they come and go.
Also, of course, what other posters have already said about housing, insurance, etc.
It's worth considering.
2007-03-23 19:10:53 · answer #4 · answered by fredonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who was in kind of the same position. They ended up having a small family ceremony and then the big wedding when he gets back.
I would say if you know your going to be with him forever do it now, things happen heaven forbid and you would have no rights as just his girlfriend.
I wish you the best, and that your man comes home safe to you.
2007-03-23 17:43:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i beleileve so if ur in love that much and he is to be deployed i think u should move the date up so that u can enjoy the time he is here till he leave for iraq it will feel better for u both
2007-03-24 11:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is truly your world now, he still will be when he returns. If it's meant to be, absence makes the heart grow fonder! I say wait. You can live a much normal life as a fiance than you can a lonely wife. Either decision you make, you will regret. This decision at least gives you options you won't have as a lonely wife in waiting.
2007-03-23 17:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by briang731/ bvincent 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would marry him before he goes, that way you will have the benefits before he leaves. If something does happen to him, wouldnt you want to be the one contacted? You wont be if the two of you arent married. Being married gives you access to numerous support systems too.
2007-03-23 19:18:43 · answer #8 · answered by EllD75 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would get married now. For various reasons and sundry. You KNOW you want to be with him, so why not get it done as soon as possible, especially sinc he is leaving!
Cause you can always have a bigger wedding later!
2007-03-23 17:23:26 · answer #9 · answered by sewcute594 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you are getting married anyway, you should do it before he deploys. That way you will be entitled to the benefits of a military spouse.
2007-03-23 17:23:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋