We have a loving, supportive, and honest relationship, and, overall, the sex is great. Moreover, he has an absolutely gorgeous body, and I've told him he has nothing to be embarrassed about. He admits to being shy, but he won't discuss possible reasons for his shyness. I would like to draw him out of his proverbial shell without suggesting counseling, which I know he would oppose. Thoughts?
2007-03-23 10:13:35 · 21 answers · asked by Concerned 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would wait it out and don't make a big deal about it for now. He'll come around when he feels comfortable enough with you.
2007-03-23 10:21:01 · answer #1 · answered by Andrea M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're going to be the best counseling for him, I think you'll find he was raised in a "you must hide your evil body" kind of home, which is sad. You could try just the two of you staying casually naked during the day so maybe nudity is not so directly associated with sex. Being nekkid just getting air and sun all over your freedom is reason enough, you don't always have to have sex when you take the clothes off!
2007-03-23 17:23:59 · answer #2 · answered by barefoot_always 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
slowly slowly catchy monkey - its his body and he feels uncomfortable - by you feeling ok about his body will not make him feel ok about it.. .. hope that makes sense! ;-)
if i were you i would let him feel comfortable with you touching his body first ie. full body massage.
cusions on the floor covered with towels, light the candles, nic emusic & make sure its nice and warm. get him to undress, and leave his boxers on if he more comfortable, and be fairly nonchalent about it - leave the room, but show him where the towels/blankets are for him to lie under - tell him to lie on his stomach first - while you go and get a glass of water and the massage oil. give him plenty of time (more than needed to get undressed and under the blanket) ... then just expose the area you are going to massage - ie. one leg then cover it back over, and then the other leg, then fold down the towel and spend 30 mins on his back ... get him to roll over - again, give him room to roll over by holding the blanket high in the air so that you can't see him, do the front of his legs and then his stomach and chest...and take it from there...soon he will recognise that you are totally comfortable with his body and you enjoy touching it - moreover you enjoy touching him. the closeness this invokes will be very reassuring to him. don't worry about the reasons for his shyness - he doesn't want you to see any weak spots - just enjoy each other as you are and continue to evolve into something new togeather... good luck
hth
xx
ps. try grapeseed oil with sandalwood & lavender essential oils.
2007-03-23 17:28:14 · answer #3 · answered by emma m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes probably had a hard past where he was made fun of for his body, if you look at people that are comfortable with being naked, or have their shirts off ect. ect. they have been told pretty much their whole lives that they have a nice body, where as someone who has been ridiculed about their bodies tend to be shy about showing it off. even if they have a decent to great body. I myself am shy being naked or even with my shirt off around females esspecially. but anyone in general. just for the simple fact that i was a little chubby growing up and i got made fun of by my older brothers.
so take it slow, ask him why hes so shy about it. don't pry or prod, give it time and let him open up about it when he feels comfortable.
2007-03-23 17:20:16 · answer #4 · answered by mastermind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way you describe your boyfriend sounds as if he's got a personality disorder that needs to put right. I think he's got the right to be modest. Because of the different way we are brought up, we can have vastly different attitude about being naked and it doesn't necessarily mean he's ashamed of his body. I think you should try to give him the space to be himself and stop pestering him about going naked in front of you.
2007-03-23 17:20:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, is it naked after or before sex? i hope that it's not during sex. if that's the case, then yes there is something else going on with him.
you should not make it a big deal. think of it this way. if you are comfortable being without clothes, he might just be comfortable having his clothes on (i hope that we are talking undies and or tee's, and not pants and the works).
i don't like being completelly naked. soon after sex, i have to put on my undies. nothing going on, just feel like something is missing if i don't have them on.
maybe if you leave it alone, he will come around if he sees you being comfortable that way. if you egg him on, he may retrieve even more.
maybe if you wear him out, he may not have the strenght to reach for cover.
good luck
2007-03-23 17:23:30 · answer #6 · answered by la21unica 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the poor sap alone! A lot of people are self concious of their bodies. He doesn't need counseling. When he is ready he will feel more comfortable naked in front of you.
2007-03-23 17:16:31 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Patience. Be supportive, dont apply any pressure, let him get less shy at his own speed. Try to create situations that would automatically be revealing but are too tempting for him to resist, like sharing a shower...
2007-03-23 17:16:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start walking around naked in front of him, do sit ups naked, watch tv naked...Embrace the nakedness. And have a sense of humor about it too! Eventually, he'll become more comfortable with you...and himself :) Good luck!
2007-03-23 17:17:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get him pinned down first. Start goofing around, kiss him, etc. Then strip him article of clothing by article of clothing and tell him all about why each part of him revealed is sexy, and totally enjoy doing so. ;) This should help some. He'll enjoy it a LOT.
2007-03-23 17:17:12 · answer #10 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋