Hello, I have never done this before but I need some advice. I am the fiance of an Iraqi war verteran. He has been home for 2 years now. Our wedding would be 5 months away. However, he was issued an order warning for possible deployment to Iraq. We have had to cancel everything. It looks as if they are 99.9% sure that he will be leaving most likely before the start of the summer. My question is......should we move up the wedding and get married before his deployment. He is my world and deployed or not deployed I want to be with him for forever. I need some advice....thank you so much for your time. God bless all of those in our military and their families...my thoughts and prayers are with you all.
2007-03-23 09:54:43 · 18 answers · asked by Jessica N 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
Yes I would. If he is married he will get a good amount of tax free allowances. Housing, family separation, etc. You will be covered under TriCare as well. I would definitly recommend it - there is a lot of benefit. Also if something were to happen to you, you would be considered family at that point instead of listed as a "friend"
Thank him for his service and thank you for your sacrifice and support.
2007-03-23 09:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well you didn't say if you were together before he deployed the last time so I am going to assume that you were not. If you were, please disregard and go for it! Good luck! :)
If you were not together the last time he deployed and have not spent any significant time apart, I would strongly suggest that you wait.
My boyfriend of 5+ years had finally started to talk about us getting married when I got picked up for a year long deployment to Iraq (actually ends up being about 15 months once you add in all the time for training).
As tempted as I was, and as much as I love him and want to marry him now (I mean, I have been waiting for over 5 years haha), I thought it would be a good decision to wait until I got back.
A lot can happen in a year. And I don't mean to sound negative (I'm sure I will get a thumbs down for this) but some people can't handle being apart. I think the time apart will truly, truly tell you if you are meant to be together, and as was said, it will give you something to look forward to! I'm sure you both feel that this is something that you want to do, but when he comes back, you will want it even more and you will *know* without a doubt that it is the right thing. Also, as a side note, this will give you time to plan the wedding of your dreams. :)
Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
P.S. Don't do it for the money!!
2007-03-23 10:15:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd get married before he leaves. You will have military benefits and more rights as a spouse than as a fiancee. The military won't recognize you at all until you are married.
I've known several people who had a small wedding before the deployment, then planned a big one and renewed their vows after the soldier came home. You may want to consider that.
We had our wedding planned for 6 weeks after he was supposed to be home from Iraq the first time. He called the day after I sent out invitations and told me they were staying another 3-6 months. Trust me, I know how hard it is to cancel everything and have to explain to all your friends/family that the wedding isn't happening. I think you'll feel better while he is deployed knowing he is your husband. We ended up having a small wedding the day after he returned from Iraq, but I wish we had just had the small ceremony either before he left or during his R&R leave. Being his wife was much more important than having a big ceremony!
2007-03-23 10:25:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would say get married before he goes. Should something go wrong over there and he doesn't come home you will regret it forever. I pray that never happens to you. As long as you want to marry him for the right reasons..like love and trust and a future together...and not just for money, health insurance, power of attorney while he is deployed, and a dependent ID card...then do it! Not saying you are one..but so many women take advantage of a soldier in this way before he leaves to go overseas!
I say if you are in love and he is your life..marry him. Do a small ceremony for family and close friends and have a large reception/coming home party when he gets back. Or have a small ceremnoy and renew your vows in 5 years or so and have the wedding you always dreamed of.
2007-03-23 23:04:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I marry and have married many couples where one is in the military as I live 7 miles from a military base. The trend lately is to go ahead and have a small civil ceremony in my office and plan for the big wedding later. They are doing this prior to being deployed to Iraq for the main reason that they want to be sure that their significant other is eligible for certain privelidges and benefits should the other expire in our war effort and many of these couples already have child/children.
2007-03-23 10:07:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you were to move it up would you still be able to have everything that you were planning on having at your wedding 5 months from now? No one can tell you what to do here it all depends on what your expectations are of your (hopefully) one and only wedding. As a woman i know that i want mine to be special. I wouldnt want to hurry and run thru one, not having everything that i had hoped was there and always wish i could have done it differently. then again if that stuff doesnt matter to you then go ahead and get married. what are you waiting for??? Good luck to the both of you!
2007-03-23 10:10:54 · answer #6 · answered by j 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
GET MARRIED ASAP. bring your friends and family to the court house and have a quick wedding. This way you are legally married. Eligible for more money and benefits. Then y ou know if your heart you two are married and you can post pone your actual beautiful wedding for a later date when h returns. This way you are not anxious about the wedding (bc your already married) and you can focus on preparing things for when he comes back for you to both enjoy. ESP a romantic honeymoon.
2007-03-23 10:06:36 · answer #7 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The sooner the better. I say just do it. Enjoy the time now. As an added bonus, murphy's law, if you marry now he may not deploy :)
2007-03-23 10:17:57 · answer #8 · answered by persiandiva77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me I would just do a small wedding (close family, maybe a few friends) before he leaves. When he gets back you could do a reception type deal that you could invite all your friends and family to.
2007-03-23 09:59:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't delay! If you love him, marry him today - procrastination never got anyone anywhere. Being his wife while he is deployed will give you certain privileges you would not have being his fiance. Information will be more readily available. Good Luck & God Bless. Please thank you fiance for his service to our great country.
2007-03-23 10:03:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋