My girlfriend made plans to go drinking with her ex boyfriend for this Saturday. They are going with a couple of his friends.
I don't have a lot of relationship experience, but I'm pretty sure it's not considered appropriate to go out drinking with an ex. I could easily stop her from doing anything that would instantly end our relationship by coming along, but I'd almost rather have her screw up now rather than wait until we're married and she's messing around with other guys.
She told me that when she drinks she gets turned on, so I suspect the worst results to happen this Saturday.
What do you think? Should I go along or let some disaster happen now rather than later? Are her actions inappropriate or am I overreacting?
2007-03-23 09:15:52 · 20 answers · asked by fdasfd s 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Inappropriate.
If she had any consideration for you, she would have asked if you were ok with it. Also, if you're expecting the worse then you obviously don't trust her and should end it on that note too.
2007-03-23 09:19:10 · answer #1 · answered by DougDoug_ 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear fdas...,
What your girlfriend is doing is blatantly disrespectful of you. No good thing can come out of it. Obviously this ex or she still has some feelings to have an attachment to one another. Moreover, it seems like she's setting herself up for an excuse to sleep with him. (She told you that when she drinks she gets turned on- knowing that she'll get turned on while with her ex and her present boyfriend not there???)
i know you don't want to seem like the jealous jerk but your choices are basically: don't let her go, or you have to go otherwise you'll be making assumptions which is quite unproductive (she can deny anything that she did) and you'll never really trust her.
Seemingly you have some deeper issues than just this coming Saturday. But it says a lot about her commitment to the relationship and you.
All the advice you got about turning the tables on her- you go out with an ex, etc. isn't sound (two wrongs don't make a right) and it's not cool to use your ex, or one of your friends. Just be straight up- you are not cool with it- and she ought to be able to understand why.
Hope that helps. Kindly,
Nickster
2007-03-23 16:31:57 · answer #2 · answered by Nickster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand. Your suspicion and reaction to it are quite normal. If you stop her, you'll be immature and selfish. But letting her go would also mean the chance of losing her(of course that's the least thing may happen). I think I 'd been there in similar situation, not quite though but almost similar. Your girl doesn't really care about your feelings, about how uncomfortable you will be. My advise is to let her have her way. Treat that as an opportunity to discover yourself and her trustworthiness. YOU may ask someone you trust to give an eye on her and report to you what she/he might find out. If it's not good, don't be violent, just let go of her, nurse your emotion and find another one.
2007-03-23 16:34:12 · answer #3 · answered by Frontal Lobe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are overreacting at all. The fact that she is going with not only her ex, but a group of his friends and then tells you that drinking turns her on, sounds like a test to me. You need to tell her how you feel now and don't just wait for her to screw up.
2007-03-23 16:44:45 · answer #4 · answered by fungirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not put up with it. Look for a person that really loves you and wants to be with YOU.
ME, I wouldn't say a word, but I would not re-appear in her life again. If you stop her by going along it will only prolong the situation, as she has no real respect for you and is showing it. Shake her hand goodby and don't look back.. Don't let her end it, take the initiative and realise she doesn't care and cut your losses
2007-03-23 16:24:31 · answer #5 · answered by † PRAY † 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Completely inappropriate. But, dont go. Instead, tell her that while she is out, youre going to go to a strip club or out with your ex to do something that makes you all hot and bothered. then, when she complains, tell her what a hypocrite she is and leave her.
She sounds like nothing but trouble to me. If she wants to hang out with her ex, then there is something still there, man. I dont have any desire to see any of my exes... sure, Im still friendly with a couple, and one even comes over and visits every once in a while - but I CERTAINLY do not leave my house with her and leave my girl at home!! No - she comes over and visits with me AND my girl...
2007-03-23 16:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dude... the fact that she even thinks its ok is a bad sign. You shouldn't go, way too much chance for drama and BS there. She is going out with some of his friends... which leaves you no way of knowing. If she gave a **** about you, she wouldn't have even considered it. Drop her. Run fast, run far. Sounds harsh, but I guarantee you're only seeing the tip of the iceberg with this BS.
2007-03-23 16:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by Godfather76 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its unreasonable. For her to go without you shows a complete lack of respect for your feelings. I'd be willing to bet money that she is usually inconsiderate of your feelings and worse the fact that she is going out without you and then tells you drinking turns her on. It almost appears that she is baiting you. That is very immature but then again I think you already knew that.
2007-03-23 16:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by Phatpinkie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
While it MIGHT be ok for the two of you to go out with another couple- the couple being an ex and HIS date, it is absolutely wrong for her to go out in the company of her ex without you.
2007-03-23 16:25:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would say so.
Why would she want to go out with an ex and his buddies?
May be your relationship is not that strong, at least in her view.
If she valued your relationship she wouldn't because that can be misread pretty easily.
2007-03-23 16:22:45 · answer #10 · answered by Get A Grip 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Umm, no, you are not overreacting. If I were you, I'd have a little chat with her about how you feel. Were you invited to go along? Either way, if she insists on going, you should be there as well.
2007-03-23 16:22:16 · answer #11 · answered by KS 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋