How big of and age gap is too big?

Question

I am a 21 year old woman who is interested in a 38 year old man? Is that a bad thing? Is that too big of an age gap? I'm not sure how he feels about the age difference, but to me it isn't a problem. What should I say to him to assure him that it isn't a big deal? Any suggestions?

I guess I should add to that question that I have a family already. I have a son and would like another child yet, and he has a daughter, but i'm not sure if he wants anymore children. I may be 21 but I'm not really all that interested in partying and going out alot. I'm more focused on my son and maybe another baby someday. I like spending time with my friends but I don't really have an interest in partying, a night out for me is basically dinner and a movie. So hopefully that should help us out. LOL

Answer 1

Age doesn't matter... if two people are in love that is... Some people look into calendar age without looking into the maturity of the person. There are older people who's brain is still childish, and there are younger people who already knows what they want in life. You should asked yourself are you two in-love and willing to go beyond the age gap? Because age is just a small aspect and certainly is not a hindrance for a successful relationship.

Answer 2

That really is a big age difference because with 17 years difference, he really is old enough to be your father (as you can see from reading Yahoo Answers, there are a lot of 17 year old fathers out there!).
It could work if what makes it work for you is stability, security, interests in your children and family. You need other shared interests too and he has be patient with what he will perceive as immaturity on your part - because you are 17 years younger, you are less mature than he is!
It's not like when you reach a certain older age, maturity 'levels out' and you are both on an equal maturity level because you have lost your lust for partying. There will always be a noticeable maturity difference and you will always have to get used to it. It's possible that you can do that.
He's probably going to feel insecure if he thinks that you might be attracted to people your own age - when you are in your thirties, for example, and he's approach 50. This can cause problems, too! Not to mention the fact that as you hit your 30's, you might find yourself meeting a lot of divorced men (at school functions, etc.) who are attractive, looking for someone to date who share their (your) values, and they find you attractive! That is more likely than not.
It can work - I do know someone who married a person much older but she was older to begin with. You're just 21. First, see if there are more stable, family-oriented 21-year-old guys to date and date them. It would be nice to grow old with your husband, don't you think? It's less likely when there is this big age difference. Even when you get to be 60, he will be 77!

Answer 3

To go out with it's ok- but to build a relationship would be hard, b/c of the differences you two have. You are simply in different places in life, he is probably ready to settle down and raise kids, or he may have his own already and may not want any more (cannot blame him for that), you on the other hand are young and would probably like to go out, party and explore the world- and there is nothing wrong with that either. If you really like him, you may want to give it a try and see where it takes you. Good luck!

Answer 4

If u r a mature 21 like u say u r then it is a fine age gap..he would love 2 date someone ur age.

Answer 5

You show think about this...In 10 years you will be 31 and he will be 48. In 20 years you will be 41 and he will be 58 and time to retire he old body and go on social security. When you have spent your prime watching him grow old you will have missed out and wanting to live life with a more active lifestyle. and this will add sorrow because you will be tending his bedpan while missing the hot hunks playing volleyball.

Answer 6

Why do you need someone else to tell you it's wrong if you already think it's right? Too big of an age gap is when one person is underage or dead. Anything else is up to what the two of you find mutually satisfying. If you want to know how he feels, ask him! He'll already know it's not an issue for you. If it were, you wouldn't be asking ;)

Answer 7

i was 20 when i started dating my -ex who was 38....everything was great until it wasn't. Eventually, the age difference does effect the relationship. It takes a lot of work, and sometimes seems like more work then love. If you want to try it out...go for it...but proceed with caution, and expect bumps along the road..

Answer 8

Go for it. As long as your happy. my parents have a 20 year age difference.

Answer 9

Tell this guy that you like him just be up front with him.no its not 2 big of a gap.age ain't nothing but a number really and as long as you like that person It really should not matter

Answer 10

we could get real! while you're thinking approximately commencing a marriage with a 7 3 hundred and sixty 5 days age hollow, be arranged. in the event that they are older, you will possibly finally end up resenting his consistent older way of thinking. His track style will fluctuate, His television, and then their is the growing to be older ingredient too. What occurs once you nevertheless sense extraordinary and alive at say, 40 3....and that they are 50 and finding like your grandfather. purely inquiries to ask your self till now you flow forward and marry. individually my brother married his spouse and he or she is 12 years older than him....they are nevertheless jointly after 17 years. My sister married a guy 15 years older than she and that they've been married for 15 years. So possibly it does final. For me, it would might desire to be somebody my own age.