Am i a bad sister?

Question

i have an older sister who lacks common sence and my mom always forces me to hang out with her, but i don't want to. I always have to act like the older one. And i always have to do everything for her. Don't get me wrong she is not special ed or anything like that, just real slow. i hate it, i just wish i had a sister i can talk to and look up to, but instead it is the other way around. and i am embarrasse of the way she acts and dresses. So, i question myself is it bad not to want to hang out with her? and be uncomfortable to hang out with her?

Answer 1

You should love and enjoy your sisters company regardless of how she acts and dresses, but I think it's normal to be a little edgy with your siblings. Try to accept both of your positions and save yourself a little alone time.

Kinda lame your mom forces you two to hang out.

Answer 2

No, you're not a bad sister for wanting your own life. Frankly--and I don't mean this as a slam against your mom, so please don't take it that way--but it sounds like your mom thinks your being a good role model will get through to your sister more than her mothering. I'm sure she's at her wits' end, and is grasping at straws. However, it's time you and your mom had a good talk: You both want to help your sister, but you need a plan that allows you to have your own life as well. Perhaps you could work out a schedule that you both can live with, such as you spending Saturday afternoon with your sister, but having the evening free to do what you want--or vice versa. Also, you have a right to not be embarrassed by your sister's behavior/dress. Try calmly discussing this with your sister, but without pointing a blaming or ridiculing finger at her and trying to make her feel bad, because she might be honestly unaware she's embarrassing you. She has a right to express herself however she wants, but she needs to respect you, too, if she wants your company. You could have this discussion with her and your mother both if you want.

So basically, the formula is this:

Stay calm

Identify the problem by talking and listening to each other

Ask each person for input on how to solve the problem

Try to agree on a solution that everyone finds acceptable.

Hope this helps.

Amy

Answer 3

You aren't a bad sister. You are just confused. She is your sister and honestly it doesn't matter if she likes to wear a lampshade on her head or go out and get drunk and need you to come pick her up. Not everyone is perfect. You will disagree and in fact you don't even have to agree on anything. You could be a prep and she could be a goth but she's still your sister. Even twins are completely different. But you are still sisters. My sister was 14 years older than me and she was my best friend. She did stupid stuff and I did stupid stuff but we were always there for each other. She passed away just when I was finally learning not to be a bratty little sister and appreciate my big sister. I didn't have a chance to tell her how much I loved her being my big annoying sister. So appreciate your sister now. And hang out with her. Show her you love her. And don't be selfish and worry about how hanging out with her makes you look.

Answer 4

You're not so much a bad sister as a bad person. Your mom is asking you to help your sister, who isn't an axe murderer or psycho or anything, and you don't want to because you wish you could look up to her? I wish I had a million bucks, but that doesn't mean I sit around whining and refusing to give to charity. There's an old saying- you reap what you sow.

Be there for your sister because it's the right thing to do. If everyone did the right thing, we'd all be better off.

Answer 5

i can understand not wanting to hang out with her especially if you're forced but just remember that she is your sister and she has problems and i'm sure she appreciates the time you spend with her. if she embarasses you by her actions just nicely ask her to stop what she's doing and if you don't like what she's wearing why don't you help her. tell her it's a makeover and you'll dress her up and do her makeup, but don't be mean about it

Answer 6

Tough question...you sound young (teen)...if so, this will probably pass...most brothers and sisters don´t get along real well at this stage of life...

If you´re older and still don´t like hanging with your sister, I would assume that this situation probably is not going to change that much...personality differences...but she is still your sister and you should look for ways to get closer to her.

Answer 7

ok this is the thing alot of girl would love to go places with there mom , but if you feel uncomfortable i think you should talk to her and tell her how you feel ok , and no you are not a bad sister . you are older so be the role model.

Answer 8

First of all no you are not a bad sister what you need to do is look at it from your sister's point of view.You think that you are it bad will you don't.What you need to do is sit down by yourself and think about how your sister would feel if she knew that you need not what to be around her.You also need to tell your mom how you feel and why.

From a friend that cares.

Answer 9

well u need 2 talk 2 ur mom and ur not a bad sister u just want 2 hang wit ur friends i hope dat made u feel better

Answer 10

No. Your not a bad person. It is completly normal, and you need time to yourself too. But, try to imagine how you would want that older sister to treat you? What things would you want to learn from her? You could be this person for your younger sister.